I've had alopecia since I was about nine but I've always kept it hidden under box braids, hair extensions and wigs. Only my immediate family knew for a long time. Now I am twenty-three years old and I really want to get more comfortable with myself. I'm hoping to try going outside without anything covering my head. BIG step.
But how do I just go from wearing a wig one day to rocking my bald head the next and not feel like I have explain it to everyone? Anyone else been here?
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I am a 57 year old black female living in Alaska, and don't like to wear hats. I went on a trip to the east coast about 2 years ago, Phila, and New York, in New York, I did not wear a wig and it made me feel like dancing in the street. I long to dance for joy every day. So I looked for blogs with women who have bald heads,what beauty! Oh did I say I have menopause also. So maybe the first step would be going bald this summer. You can say its hot, and I am hot and ready. My only worry now is how it will make my man feel around his friends and family.
It is GREAT you are making this step of courage. You'll be surprised how free you will feel, and will wish you went 'al natural' long ago!! I have been bald going on my 7th year, and honestly I'm still not used to the looks, but showing the real me has been one of the most courageous steps I've taken in my life. I walk around and pretend nobody is staring at me, and it works. This website has been a great blessing for me, and I just found it 2 monsths ago. And isn't this so great reading all these encouraging words. We are so "NOT ALONE"!!!
I have always found bald women to be better looking than bald men. Of course I am a heterosexual man.
Good for you, wear it proudly, and wear earrings and other accessories and feminine clothing to accentuate your look. It can be a fashionable style on a beautiful feminine lady.
The only way to know is to jump in and do it, but first in a safe space that would be in public. My initial safe space was a meditation studio and some people who knew me happened to go there, too, so that saw it in a space that was already somewhat sacred and people were finding their zen, y' know? I had a hard time going to the movies for a while bc I didn't like people being able to sit behind me and look at my head when I didn't know, so different spaces I eased into. And now wigs literally make me itch. Headwraps aren't as comfortable on my head anymore and I think it's because all those things on our heads cause tension around our necks and it's stress in the cranial area not being released because it's covered. Oh! that was another safe space I tried, a massage studio. Another safe space I tried was with my therapist. I was MOST nervous about when I was at home bc I was concerned with what my family would think about me. Whether I was pretty to them or not, or feminine enough or not. And then I realized we live in a sexist society so OF COURSE someone's gonna question me but that's because most people don't know better and don't think about how sexism, gendered expectations, etc impact us individually in serious ways. I started a selfie self care project to embrace my baldness in an online public safe space where I can control my normalization. It's baldgyrlmemoirs.com. I hope you find my process helpful to u if u visit! <3
You said it, it is a big step. But you can do it in baby steps. I wore dark sunglasses the first time I got out of my car nearly bald ( totalis at the time). Try something and if you don't like how you feel, try another way another day. What has helped me are seeing the different approaches people take. I've followed Thea Chassin for years,meeting first in California. I get the BGDL newsletter. Now she has a blog which features personal interviews. It's eye opening to see all the ways people transition to a new look and why they chose when they did. I get the weekly updates from blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org
I know that she responds to requests if you have a special story about yourself.
Best wishes to everyone trying something new this summer!
Hi Chenelle--thank you for your post. We are all at different stages and its good to be reminded of how far we have come or see hope coming our way. I have had AU for past 10 yrs. I only found this awesome site 3 yrs ago, so my first 7 were live and learn in a world full of hair. My journey I took easy way out and had hair with balding spots one day and shaved it off one evening and came to work the next. That was my first conquest. Yay I was proud of me. I acquired an awesome colletion of hats for the cold mornings and evenings--funky earrings and eye makeup--- I learned little things like not to take my hat off in elevator or restaurant, I walk in bald--sudden moves seem to alarm folks sometime--. In conclusion-the compliments and stares I get--far outweigh the uncomfortable moments. And I cannot count how many women have come up to me and say I have inspired them. You will find your own comfortability in time. We're all on a journey.