Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Hair loss affecting a marriage -- am I the only one?
I'm not sure what I'm hoping for -- advice?? Someone else who knows what I'm going through?
But I'm surprised I have not seen this mentioned anywhere, or maybe I missed it.
My hair loss has really affected our marriage. My husband says he has a hard time finding me attractive anymore, and it's obvious from his actions as well. Obviously this has all kinds of ramifications.
How do other people cope with this??
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by SweetlyFree on
-
Hello Jenny! Please know that I previously posted a thread about Alopecia Universalis has affected me marriage. I'm moving forward now the hurtful
things that were said to me by my ex husband of 35 years was unbearable. Sometimes
wordsught were withheld and the rejection would weigh heavily upon me as though I was invisible. So 1 year after the divorce, I met a nice gentleman
. After dating for three months I wanted to share written information with him regarding the Alopecia Universalis that has stripped me of my hair, but not my spirit. the man that I was dating didn't want to read it the brochure that is regarding alopecia Universalis. I'm going to just kept telling me you know I was it was ok. So that was on a Saturday morning so Tuesday morning I get a text message saying that he no longer wanted to date and good luck to me. I don't really blame him. Nevertheless I provided true and correct medically documented information to help him understand but he refused to educate himself regarding alopecia. The feeling of rejection can scar the soul from not wanting to trust others acceptance oneself. But I wasn't really sad. I actually felt more empowered, knowing that his ignorance was not the foundation that I wanted to build a relationship upon. And I quickly affirmed, that he is not the man for me. So, from having the husband of 35 years, in having a male friend for approximately three and a half months, caused me to be relieved knowing that there's nothing wrong with me. I can't shake it, but I know now that bald is beautiful. I became course in my heart knowing that my husband of 35 years actually looked at me and felt the same way about me the man whom I knew for only three and a half months. I must admit the greatest pain where's acquired from my husband of 35 years. Junie find your strength in the inner most deepest part have your spirit and be strong not to let anyone use the weapon of rejection against you. Begin to tell yourself how beautiful you are! I'm wish the very best for you in your relationships and that you will be accepted for the beauty that is within you and that is shine from the inside out. I'm so sorry for the pain you must have experienced. But I feel more sorry for those who have operated under such dark rejection. I'm hopeful that there is
a man who will love me for me and accept the oddity that comes with the package.
-
Permalink Reply by Dominique Cleopatra on
-
Men are visual creatures. Women wear make-up, exercise, dye their hair, get extensions, and even plastic surgery to improve their physical appearance. My advice may be controversial, but I suggest if you want to keep your husband, you consider getting a bonded-on hair system like I have (which is very comfortable.) This will show your hubby that his feelings are important to you, and will put the spice back in your marriage. Think about it!
-
Permalink Reply by LK on
-
Dominique,
I totally agree with you. Men are visual creatures. I am 50. We have been married almost 26 years and have been dating 31. I acquired AA 17 years ago. Our relationship waxes and wanes just like my hokey pokey hair. Through it all, I think he respects and admires me for not giving up completely. He knows that I just keep trying to improve. Makeup, Rogaine, clothes, diet, vitamins etc. I'm all in.
I have had friends just give up, gain a ton of weight and lay around feeling sorry for themselves. Eventually their husbands left them.
Years ago, when I was going through miscarriages and infertility hell, I had friends divorce me. They would say things like, I can't be your friend if that is all we talk about. Do something else. Go get help. Find another friend to whine to. And I did.
My sister has a auto immune related kidney disease and diabetes. Even though we don't like it, we listen. We hold her hand. Some of her friends have divorced her too. They couldn't deal either. Her husband is still with her.
My point is this. All people, men and women are different. Some can deal. Some can't. I think that that the trick is to find someone who can.
-
Permalink Reply by Martina Wright on
-
you are not alone in this. Today my husband and I had a huge blow up regarding our sex life, I am finding it hard to believe he finds me attractive anymore and he tells me that it all in my head. I have lost all self confidence and never initiate intimacy, so he is left feeling unloved and unwanted. He just doesn't understand the internal struggle that goes on within me - regarding my hairloss. How do you get your mojo back?
-
Permalink Reply by Alanna on
-
Hey Martina. I totally get it. Same thing here. I think it's our age- mid 40's now. My husband told me it's not as easy as when we were young to ignite our intimacy. So I initiate more now than when we were younger. I don't think it has anything to do with your hair loss, it's more of hormone levels changing with age. Testosterone decreases as men get older.
So, you have to get your moves on him, start flirting again, and lure him in.
-
-
Martina,
My advice to you is this.. It's from a song.
"If you want to be somebody else, if you're tired of fighting battles with yourself, if you want to be somebody else, change your mind."
Also, listen to Alanna, it sounds like she's got it going on.
-
-
Hi there, In my early 30's I also noticed that I'm having hair loss. I actually thought it runs in our genes. But every person has different kinds of situation. So, I found this treatment that was actually helpful for me. I'm sharing the link where you can find different kinds of treatment that might work for you. http://www.nuhartclinic.com.ph/treatment-options I hope it helps.
-
-
Hey Jenny,
I'm sorry for your husband's insensitivity. My husband never holds back either -- he tells me I'm too this and that, but I've come to the conclusion that it's really about them. Because when he feels good about himself, it doesn't really matter. He recently got into good shape and is very interested. I feel hurt about the things he's said in the past (not just about my hair, but about my weight, etc, whatever his beef is that day), and find I've lost interest and I'm no cold fish. Sometimes I wonder if my husband ever looked at my head at all (!). I think of older couples that are lovey-dovey, the husbands will call their wives beautiful until the day they die (no matter what). They must have it right -- and it's not what I have. I don't think this problem is limited to people with alopecia either.
-
-
Just hold on to it girl. If you need to use any hair remedies do it. There are lots of hair products that you can use. If you are open to do hair transplant then go for it.
-
Permalink Reply by Brandy Snap on
-
I'm not sure if you're aware, but people with Alopecia do not have successful hair transplants because it will just fall out. As far as other hair remedies, there is no proven cure, and only a handful of treatments that sometimes, maybe, sort of work, for a while. The most we can do is be as overall healthy as we can, hope for the best and get on with our lives.
-
-
These men or people in our lives who insult or reject us because we are bald and have Alopecia are not worth our time! I am very disturbed by the lack of empathy some of these spouses have. All I can say, is by them leaving, you will have more time to find the people who will love and accept you as you naturally are! I love you my friends- bald or not, and am truly proud to be a woman with Alopecia with you. I hope this helps. Proud to be Boldly Bald with you.
I feel that these folks are losing out by myopically defining the relationship by hair.....hugs to you all. You are lovable just the way you are. Alanna
-
-
We can't please everyone, but at least we tried. If there are no other treatments or transplant is impossible. But then again why quit if there's a will theres a way. There might be answers out there (Regimen or treatment).
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
