Hey guys and gals,
So before I lost my hair and was forced to wear a wig I had longer brown hair. I loved it and tried to replicate it with a custom-made wig, but it just didn't feel the same and I didn't like there being so much wig for the wind to grab onto and screw up. It looked really wiggy, and I spent a lot of time maintaining it to try to avoid that wigginess.
So I decided to switch styles to something more manageable, and, when I my hubby and I went to a family friend's house, instead of the long brown hair they were used to seeing me under, I was wearing a bobbed-off blonde wig. But it's not a wig-- I decided to get a haircut and dye it! Or so I told them. I still haven't told anyone beyond my husband that I wear a wig, and I wasn't gonna start then. The wife loved the new cut, and tried to run her hands through it, but I evaded.
Anyways, I really don't like this style. It doesn't fit me well and I feel very uptight in it and feel like I have to wear a lot of makeup to make it work. I guess it offers the advantage that it won't get as wet in a pool (I still don't swim and replace wigs if I'm in the water at all) and the wind doesn't mess with it as much, although it still messes the wig up, and I still have to spend just as much time styling it as before. And its really stressful not being able to just take the wig off.
Goddamn, I want this to be over and for my hair to grow back. Am I up a creek without a paddle?
No one's disputing your "right" to do or say anything, Debbi. And I don't necessarily disagree with you that the OP consider telling a few more people than just her husband. But she explicitly stated that she isn't ready to start that yet. It's insensitive to ignore the OP's question and tell her that the "absolute best way" of dealing with the situation is YOUR way of living openly when you have very little information about the OP's family situation or decision-making process. You are making a lot of assumptions: that she will find the acceptance that you've found in your personal and business life (your 1000 people is not everyone) and that she has failed to correctly and thoroughly (in your judgment) consider all her options (she obviously HAS been thinking about it -- a lot).
The OP's question was one that we've all faced at some point in our wig-wearing lives. She deserved to have her actual question answered.
Didn't I just say that, above Stacie? I said "no biggie" she can do as she chooses. All we were doing was making a suggestion. It can certainly be ignored. People are under no obligation to take any advice anyone gives. It's given in order to make people's lives easier. If they feel it won't, they can ignore that advice and continue on the way they are if it works for them. I was not insisting that anyone agree with me, I was defending the option that some of us took to suggest another way. As I said, "no biggie" either way.
Let me add to my previous message with some specific information:
1. Wind: A monotop/monofilament, fully hand-tied wig or a wig with more density - anything that is not open wefting in the back -- might be more helpful to your situation. Both options will look more natural in the wind.
When I first started wearing wigs, I had my best friend stand outside with me in the wind and look from all angles. When she gave me the thumbs-up, I knew I could stop worrying. :)
2. Swimming: There is a full swim wig on the market, Amy Gibson's "Swim Wig" (easy name) - you can see it on her website, www.createdhair.com. I had one several years ago and liked it quite a bit. I just got a new human hair wig, so I can't afford another wig right now, but if I had more moolah, I'd get it. When I had the swim wig, I wore it all day -- at work, etc. The hair is finer than synthetic wig hair. I've been wanting to get another one -- for exercise -- but I just got a new human hair wig, so I've got to save up.
There are also other swim options -- e.g., Hats with Hair makes swim caps. I have not tried them, so I don't know about the quality of the hair. But they do make swim turbans without hair and they look pretty cute.
3. Re-Styling After Wind/Activity: You mentioned that you have to spend a lot of time restyling your current wig after it gets messed up by wind. This may be the result of a cut that's not quite optimum for you. Your current wig doesn't sound like it's a keeper for everyday use, but for your next wig, you'll want to consider taking it to a professional stylist so that they can cut and style it in such a way that it will fall back into place more easily.
If a new cut/style doesn't help, you may want to look into Cyberhair "Private Issue" wigs. Cyberhair wigs have "recall" which allows the hair to go right back into place after wind, washing, etc. There are dealers around the country and you can also read about them on www.createdhair.com.
4. Some Thoughts About Your Immediate Situation: If being blond requires a lot of make-up, might be time to go back to brunette. In terms of your current cut, it doesn't sound like the current blond wig fits very well, so this may be a "back to the drawing board" moment. Wig wearing is a trial and error process. Try another wig - maybe one with length in between the current blond and the old brunette if you want to tell people that you're growing your hair out again. (Or you can just skip to long and tell people it's extensions.) It sounds like you need to experiment with a different cap if this one isn't fitting you well. You may need a custom cap specific to your head measurements.
If you have any questions, feel free to get in touch.
I do have a Hats with Hair swim wig. You need to keep the hair braided or controlled with elastics though as the quality isn't that great and if it is kept braided, it will stay better. I can swim in my vacuum, but if I'm going into chlorine I would rather expose cheaper hair to the chemicals. Most of the time I don't wear anything, but when I want to, I have the swim cap option.
If you are looking for synthetic Anne Williams, check out the Amore collection from Rene of Paris (Aderans). I've seen some really beautiful grey wigs from them. If you want human hair, it is a lot harder. Sounds like you still have some of your own hair, so a vacuum probably isn't what you want but Freedom does make grey ones although sometimes there is a wait for the hair as it's hard to find longer grey hair that has the right texture.