The title says a lot, but let me elaborate.

First, wigs are an extra bill.  I spend so much getting custom wigs that I'm not even happy in, and have to buy a new one about every month because they start looking more unnatural than a wig should after that time.

Every single person on this site wants their hair back if they lost it, myself included.  I get emotional when I'm putting my wigs on or taking them off, and some days I have to fight back tears seeing my bald scalp and my "hair" on a plastic head.  I'm so paranoid as well about the wig falling off, and would never want anyone to see me without it and my eyebrows/fake lashes.  Even on a site like this, one with many people in the same boat as me, I won't post pictures of myself without my wig on.  I never take them, because I'm afraid someone might stumble into them and, in a few years, I want to remember me with my wigs on that look somewhat like my old hair than the bald woman I hate being in reality.

I've had to limit myself a lot in what I do.  I don't go in the water at the beach anymore, and if I go at all I put a hat on and just read while I sweat under my thick brown wig and resist the temptation to itch at sand that gets under the front.  Wind is a nightmare-- I've actually had nightmares about a strong gust of wind taking my wig with it, and my hand is always on the front of my wig whenever it starts.  My wig doesn't have lace on the back, and I don't want someone to see something that suggests that the wig on top of my head isn't my actual hair.  I rarely play with my son anymore, because I'm afraid he'll tug at the wig and he's never seen me bald.

The self-consciousness is killing me.  After every period at the school I teach I go to the woman's room with my makeup in my purse to redo my eyebrows and the makeup around the wig.

I just want my hair back.

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Barbara,

Thanks for responding. I probably have lost about 50% of my hair. It is thin mostly around my hairline and crown area. I am african american and my hair is natural. I was diagnose with Grave's disease about 20 years ago and most recently been diagnosed with UCTD, an Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease, which has attacked my hair follicles.

I am going to a dermatologist who gives me steroid injections in my hip and topical meds to put on my scalp. I just want my hair back.

Thanks,

Karen

This has caused me to go into a deep depression

Karen,

You are totally not alone although it feels like it.  God knows our pain and somehow there is an answer for this.

After my hair loss, I had an appointment with a salon owner and she had a 50% African American clientele.  For me to introduce the Monat products to her, I shampoo'd a beautiful African American lady (age 50's).  She had damaged hair from relaxers and her hair was about 3 inches below her ear.  I thought to myself, how can I make her hair look better.  She had a full head of hair (no hair loss).

I shampoo'd her with Monat and towel dried her hair.  Then I put the Replenish Masque on her and left on 30 minutes.  After I rinsed it, and the stylist styled it, she only blow dried it.  Normally, the client said she HAS TO FLAT IRON IT!   It turned out so moist, so shiny that she could not believe how Monat worked in her damaged hair.  I took pics of it, of course.

That's only an example of someone with hair whose hair was badly damaged and it changed before our eyes. 

You speak of follicles.  Please google this:

                            DHT and hair loss

 

A very high percentage of alopecia and hair loss is contributed from DHT. Read this from my Monat web page and you will see how this awesome company addresses the DHT.  Make sure you have googled the DHT and hair loss before you read this.

http://barbaralinzey.mymonat.com/science/index.html

The CAPIXYL and  PROCATALENE are essential ingredients naturally based that keeps the hair follicle strong and the bulb stabilized so hair is not falling out.  We have to feed the scalp, the follicle and the bulb.  If we don't how will our hair grow or remain in tact?

God restored Job.  He will restore you.  Let me know how I can help you... I feel restored and blessed and I'm going to help everyone I possibly can.  People are spending hundreds on doctors, shots, prescriptions.  All they need is a great product that addresses DHT and stabilizes the follicle and bulb.  Makes sense?

Blessings,

Barbara

blinzey1@austin.rr.com

512/507-1153

Thank you for sharing this.  Please know you are not alone in thinking the way you do.  I struggle daily with trying to regain the self-confidence AU has stripped from me.  Some days I am truly ok with it.  But more often I have a hard time looking in the mirror.  I also find my self avoiding activities.  Especially swimming.  I used to love the water and the beach.  Now I just dread the work that is involved with it.  Not only do I worry about the wig, I also stress about the water washing away any trace of eyelashes or eyebrows I have painstakingly penciled on. 

If you could share your secret for eyeliner looking like eyelashes that would be great.  Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.  It does feel good to know we are not alone

Links to several "how to" videos for creating eyebrows and lashes with makeup are on this page:

HERE

The linked videos by "EyelineHer" helped me through my early days with AU. I too wouldn't swim. But now that I have permanent (tattooed) brows and eyeliner, I can swim :-).  I LOVE my tats! They were life changing in how I cope with AU.

I think that many people will have experienced this and you have been very brave to vocalise.

I wonder if Scalp Micropigmentation would help? Obviously it only gives the appearance of hair at it's shortest length but it does make it look like a choice rather than an 'affliction'.

A great number of people we see have said that it helps, frees you of having to wear a wig all the time and does enable you to go swimming. It may be an option to add to the microblading which I think would help you.

This post could have been written by me 20 years ago. I have been wearing vacuum prosthesis since 1998, and would never go back to the alternative. Yes, the initial investment is expensive, but the security and the length of time they last is worth it.
I remember well the anxiety of thinking my wig will fall off, or one of my kids would pull it off. Concerning your children, you at least need to be honest with them about it. Kids are way more understanding about it then adults. I chose to show my kids I could cope with it in case (God forbid) it happened to them.
What you really want is your former life back. Try looking into different options that make you more comfortable.
Alopecia sucks, there is no doubt about that. But let it be a part of who you are, and not all of who you are.

Ditto re the emotions posted here. Am in year 30 of AA/AU with spurts of re-growth here and there. I do not work for Freedom Wigs and am not affiliated, but have to say they have saved me from constantly buying new wigs every 3 to 6 months. Good parts re Freedom Wigs: look completely natural, last very long (am on year 3 of one, and year 2 of another and it looks brand new), can swim in them, can color them, wind does not remove them, easy to care for with premium shampoo/conditioner, NOT itchy at all. Here is the bad: Expensive out-of-pocket cost of $3,300+, (but not to me when I was paying thousands for bad wigs I had to replace frequently),can be very hot (I try to not wear my Freedom in temps over 70 degrees F). This all does suck and we can all rationalize how fortunate we are to NOT have deadly diseases, etc, but it still sucks. Good luck to all!

Hi Kristen,  I can understand your frustration as I completely lost all of my hair close to 6 years ago (and my eyebrows & eyelashes just over a year or so ago)..  I have bought wigs online (synthetic) and have never wanted to spend thousands of dollars on a "custom" wig only because it too will eventually wear out & look "wiggy"...  the most I have ever spent on a wig was $400 (typically $300) but I have bought even less expensive ones ($150) and constantly get compliments on the cut & color of my "hair".  I am not a fan of short hair (as I have always had long hair) so the wigs I buy are typically at/below my shoulders and it is frustrating when they start to "knot up" and eventually get frizzy.  I wear wigs all the time in public, but at home I immediately take it off and wear a scarf-like "head wrap".  But like you, I couldn't NOT wear a wig in public - maybe it is shallow & vain but I have seen women bald in public (maybe it's alopecia, maybe it's chemo - I don't know) and sometimes my thought is "wow, she's brave" and other times it seem like attention-getting behavior (but, to each his/her own).  I have come to understand that if I cannot feel comfortable in my own home (in front of my husband, family &/or very close friends) without wearing a wig (but always wearing a "wrap") - that's just kind of sad.   However, I DO NOT walk around bald... I, myself do not feel comfortable bald either - so I do understand.    I have had success with plenty of synthetic wigs by Raquel Welch (which I think you named), Estetica, R.O.P. and most recently (but strange enough) Motown Tress (I have been wearing/buying that same one for a couple of years now and I CONSTANTLY get compliments on "my hair")...  sometimes you just have to find a great wig shop/person to experiment trying wigs on.  My very 1st experience was at "Tiffany's wig shop" (a very Hoity-Toity wig shop in my area) and the woman who worked there was RUDE, CONDESCENDING and made me feel like I was an inconvenience) talk about an AWFUL experience.  After visting a few more, I finally found a shop with an awesome, helpful, friendly woman who treats me like a daughter!  It makes all the difference in the world!  I do still like to buy wigs online but only after a LOT of research on different sites.  Looking at your photo I found some of these that you might like (some are pictured in a color not fitting for you but they come in several colors)...  https://www.wigsalon.com/scarlett-by-jon-renau.html      https://www.wigsalon.com/jackson-by-noriko.html      https://www.wigsalon.com/kendall-by-amore.html     https://www.wigsalon.com/georgia-by-noriko.html      I attached a picture of myself wearing my current "favorite" - Motown Tress wig  - can't tell it's not "real"!      I have heard stories from other people who knew someone going through chemo and buying a $1,000+ human hair wig and saying how awful it looked (no matter how much you spend on a wig if it's not styled right it's still going to look "wiggy") which is why I don't spend that much knowing I can still get a great look at 1/4 - 1/3 of the price!   I do have to agree with you though about not doing as much stuff (I was always up for anything - but now when going on a friends boat I always sit in the covered areas (not in the open/back area where its sunny/windy) I don't go swimming, so I do completely understand that frustration as well.   Best wishes.

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I feel your pain.  I'm new on this and I've been sharing information you can read. But first I will share that 9 months ago I lost half of my hair (but when it was wet, I looked almost bald). It was so depressing.  I share everyone's pain, because we are women and culture has shaped the way we see ourselves.

God sees us as whole.  He let the devil take hold of Job but in the end, Job made it through even though his friends were wrong thinking. Job had lost everything and I say this because to a woman, our hair is our crown. We feel we are losing everything.  Your personal story is another Job.  Hair loss, wigs, not living the life you want because of hats and wigs, is very very hard.  God intends you to be back to the woman you were but EVEN better.

I have a long story about my hair and hair regrowth but I've shared it several times tonight and I don't want to be seen as the new lady that knows it all. I don't.  All I know is what I used the last 9 months has helped regrow my hair and it's naturally based.   I'm only providing information on the science of this product. 

If you happen to be interested in more, let me know. I do not want to over step my boundaries on this networking group.

Blessings in His grace,

Barbara

http://barbaralinzey.mymonat.com/science/index.html

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