OnlyChild1213's Posts - Alopecia World2024-03-28T23:17:10ZOnlyChild1213https://alopeciaworld.com/profile/curly1982https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2192300941?profile=RESIZE_48X48&width=48&height=48&crop=1%3A1https://alopeciaworld.com/profiles/blog/feed?user=3qm8h90a3trlt&xn_auth=noA Search for Purpose.tag:alopeciaworld.com,2017-10-02:2022678:BlogPost:13953912017-10-02T06:20:54.000ZOnlyChild1213https://alopeciaworld.com/profile/curly1982
<p>It's way past my 9-5 working person's bedtime, so this may or may not be coherent. I just feel compelled to throw it out there rather than keep it rolling around between my ears.</p>
<p>I have a job that's nowhere near anything I went to school for. I was lucky to get it right before the financial crisis, it's done a lot of great things for me, and it's stable, but it's not the kind of thing I see myself doing forever (though the fact I've stayed in it the better part of 10 years would…</p>
<p>It's way past my 9-5 working person's bedtime, so this may or may not be coherent. I just feel compelled to throw it out there rather than keep it rolling around between my ears.</p>
<p>I have a job that's nowhere near anything I went to school for. I was lucky to get it right before the financial crisis, it's done a lot of great things for me, and it's stable, but it's not the kind of thing I see myself doing forever (though the fact I've stayed in it the better part of 10 years would suggest otherwise!). But there aren't that many options in my area.</p>
<p>I don't believe things happen to people for a reason. But I think you can GIVE MEANING to the things that happen to you. In my case, I've got this severe AA thing, which is kind of unique at least in my immediate environment, and it's something I'm very interested in and so know a lot about and like discussing... so from a practical standpoint it seems like my search for a professional focus could start there. But I'm not sure where to take it after that.</p>
<p>Long story short: Can my experience with and knowledge about AA somehow point me in the direction of a career I might actually love?? </p>A Lifetime of Doing Things the Hard Way.tag:alopeciaworld.com,2017-07-31:2022678:BlogPost:13880592017-07-31T05:00:00.000ZOnlyChild1213https://alopeciaworld.com/profile/curly1982
(Repost from 7/22 as I accidentally deleted it before… also, update follows)<br />
<br />
I’m pretty much the queen of being matter-of-fact about difficult things. My alopecia is no exception. Maybe I always had a lot of other stuff going on, but I viewed it as one thing among many. I’ve probably been guilty of the kind of minimizing a lot of alopecians hate, of the “It’s just hair” variety.<br />
<br />
In romantic relationships, though, I never put my money where my mouth was, preferring to leave things unsaid. I…
(Repost from 7/22 as I accidentally deleted it before… also, update follows)<br />
<br />
I’m pretty much the queen of being matter-of-fact about difficult things. My alopecia is no exception. Maybe I always had a lot of other stuff going on, but I viewed it as one thing among many. I’ve probably been guilty of the kind of minimizing a lot of alopecians hate, of the “It’s just hair” variety.<br />
<br />
In romantic relationships, though, I never put my money where my mouth was, preferring to leave things unsaid. I think my approach was not specific to this condition, but symptomatic of my wider unease with vulnerability - a distaste for being seen with frailties or in a state of disarray. In short, I was the textbook control freak who avoided intimacy.<br />
<br />
I’ve been with my current boyfriend for three and a half years. We have an unconventional relationship in many respects. I won’t explore those respects in detail, except to say that they made it possible to avoid the alopecia discussion. I’ve looked fine for most of our relationship, but recently my efforts have become exhausting and (to me) unconvincing, and I’ve reached my breaking point.<br />
<br />
Many would say, and I used to think, that coming out with the situation via email would be lame, akin to breaking up with someone via text message. But I am a writer first and foremost, and this afternoon I finally sent him a damn essay with jokes and visual aids. He’s an achingly literal and neurotic, but very sweet, guy who likes time to think about his reactions to things, to be eased into change, and presentation can be everything with him. Writing is good for this, and eliminates the need for awkward conversational segues.<br />
<br />
Anyway… stay tuned.<br />
<br />
--------<br />
<br />
UPDATE 7/30:<br />
<br />
Things could not have gone any better, given that his initial response in text, rather than any hint of withdrawal, was actually to proclaim his affection for me, and tell me he finds me beautiful, and all of this rather passionately I might add.<br />
<br />
I debuted my current newbie everyday wig at a showing of Atomic Blonde last night (a week after the email reveal) and my beanie at bedtime. His behavior toward me did not change in the least - in fact it may have been even more adorable than usual - though he didn't ask me a single question, medical, aesthetic, or otherwise, until this morning over brunch, and then the question was, “So, do you feel more comfortable in it [points to his own head]?” Later on in the convo, which otherwise involved me trying to spill just the right amount of wig-related FYI’s to be informative and not tedious, I told him I might shave it all soon, and he said, “Go for it.”<br />
<br />
The takeaway is, I don't think this boy cares that much what is on my head. Which is a strange feeling that probably means I'm in an awesome relationship.<br />
<br />
I will say there's now a heady feeling of what I can only describe as carte blanche, and I totally feel like I could get heartily addicted to matching affordable wigs with all manner of make-ups and clothes now. The end.Well I'll Be. (A chronicle for other curly girls out there.)tag:alopeciaworld.com,2017-07-18:2022678:BlogPost:13861152017-07-18T02:30:00.000ZOnlyChild1213https://alopeciaworld.com/profile/curly1982
<p>My first attempt at reclaiming my nearly-black 3B hair: Valentina by Outre. Extremely high density, despite how it might photograph. Has a different curl pattern in the underneath layer that is very thick and sort of boosts up the rest of it. Great looking but a little too Afro to pass off as my bio hair.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Second attempt: HH Brazilian Curl by It's a Wig. Very long, needs trimming, rough lace and lousy severe hairline right out of the box, but texture pretty soft for a synthetic…</p>
<p>My first attempt at reclaiming my nearly-black 3B hair: Valentina by Outre. Extremely high density, despite how it might photograph. Has a different curl pattern in the underneath layer that is very thick and sort of boosts up the rest of it. Great looking but a little too Afro to pass off as my bio hair.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Second attempt: HH Brazilian Curl by It's a Wig. Very long, needs trimming, rough lace and lousy severe hairline right out of the box, but texture pretty soft for a synthetic and has potential if you're patient. Got my first practice with arranging on a foam head, plucking a hairline, and cutting baby hairs on this one. Need to de-tangle her a bit after handling her so much, but I'm keeping her and maybe learning to cut layers in (got her for only 40 bucks).</p>
<p></p>
<p>Third attempt: So. thought I was being an idiot, albeit an educated one, trying some weird random Chinese company called Preferred Hair via website LightInTheBox. One of those vendors with whom about 50% of peeps have had a dream, the other 50% a nightmare. Well, color me astounded when I got a ridiculously soft curly human hair lace front with baby hairs already cut in just a week and a half (other peeps had warned it would take 3 weeks if it ever came at all) and after a bit of plumping looked strangely like, as someone else on here once said, my "given hair"! (only better, if I'm honest.) For me at least, LightInTheBox has been the best "scam" ever ;)</p>
<p></p>
<p><a href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2220378692?profile=original" target="_self"><img width="300" class="align-full" src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2220378692?profile=RESIZE_320x320"/></a></p>What's New with Me and Wigstag:alopeciaworld.com,2017-07-09:2022678:BlogPost:13838212017-07-09T16:30:00.000ZOnlyChild1213https://alopeciaworld.com/profile/curly1982
<p>Abandoned the bonding idea for now and am working on embracing more changeable and less costly options. Found a nice homey wig boutique in Richmond and purchased two brunette Raquel Welch's there. In front of people I see all the time but am not super close with (which is most people ;-)) I am still clinging for dear life to the self-made helper hair I've been using for four years... which is familiar but pretty crappy right now since I've got next to no hair, particularly at the front, to…</p>
<p>Abandoned the bonding idea for now and am working on embracing more changeable and less costly options. Found a nice homey wig boutique in Richmond and purchased two brunette Raquel Welch's there. In front of people I see all the time but am not super close with (which is most people ;-)) I am still clinging for dear life to the self-made helper hair I've been using for four years... which is familiar but pretty crappy right now since I've got next to no hair, particularly at the front, to even "help". But in the evenings I've been "practicing" with my starter wigs, learning to manage their quirks and challenges and make them look as natural (or at least as flattering) as possible. Have wigged out solo at restaurants a couple times and learned that while I still feel very much that something with its own presence is sitting atop my head, it really doesn't look that way from the outside, at least not to untrained eyes. It's an interesting experience.<br/> <br/> Still holding out hope that I'll find a synthetic wig to be my everyday Me wig, that I put on and feel giddy about. But that will have to be a combo of brown-black (shade 1B), lower density (prolly 100-110%), and spiral-curly (type 3B?) that looks neither too Afro nor too WASP-who-used-rollers. Going more for Greek goddess curls here :-D Is that just a pipe dream? Le sigh.</p>On hair loss, identity, and whatnottag:alopeciaworld.com,2015-03-13:2022678:BlogPost:12467112015-03-13T22:06:21.000ZOnlyChild1213https://alopeciaworld.com/profile/curly1982
<p>I have always been drawn to invented individuals. Maybe it was what I needed to keep me entertained, and maybe it had to do with the demonstration of individual power. In any event, it's why I always loved the song "Crush with Eyeliner" and made a cartoon of a "Sad Tomato" to put on a white t-shirt in eighth grade. It's why I love glam rock and feel at ease with drag performers and the larger than life personalities who inspire them, and have never begrudged people like Marilyn, or Bowie, or…</p>
<p>I have always been drawn to invented individuals. Maybe it was what I needed to keep me entertained, and maybe it had to do with the demonstration of individual power. In any event, it's why I always loved the song "Crush with Eyeliner" and made a cartoon of a "Sad Tomato" to put on a white t-shirt in eighth grade. It's why I love glam rock and feel at ease with drag performers and the larger than life personalities who inspire them, and have never begrudged people like Marilyn, or Bowie, or Lana del Rey for becoming famous via meticulously crafted personas.</p>
<p>Being a tad queer, as well as biracial and a political moderate - not to mention a rural only child with lots of space to weigh and analyze everything - I have also spent my whole life playing in the grey areas between categories. I relish the state of ambiguity, liminality - it is where I feel most at home.</p>
<p>It follows that I am someone who has always felt drastically different based on different contexts and costumes. At a women's college, my masculine side did not hesitate to fall in love with a curvy, long-haired, lipstick-loving classmate. As a romantic middle-schooler my feminine side wistfully envisioned itself ironing the slacks of a certain junior varsity soccer player. At the electric age of fifteen, a mercurial, nail polish-wearing bisexual boy held me in thrall when my peers were more averse than not to such things.</p>
<p>Because I was this way already, I was less traumatized than many would have been... possibly even less than was my own dermatologist... when in 2005 the tiny bald spot I'd always had on my scalp gave way to a dramatic, diffuse thinning of my trademark dark chocolate spirals, and a resulting biopsy confirmed alopecia areata. It was unsettling, yes, but once given a name, it felt like yet another identity heaped on the pile - it would simply necessitate another costume.</p>
<p>What seems a bit inconsistent to me is that, ten years in, when my hair loss got really real, I had to overcome an inhibition to use synthetic hair. Why did it seem so different to me than the heavy smoky eye and red lipstick I used without question?</p>
<p>At this point, having used enhancements for almost two years, it seems I must have been drawing an arbitrary line in the sand. I have grown to embrace them as my own hair - after all, I do lovingly craft and finesse them, which is an art - and anyway, liquid eyeliner felt wicked odd to me, too, when I'd never worn it before. I assume if full wigs become a thing for me the story will be much the same.</p>
<p>And head scarves make me feel kind of pirate-y. Which ain't a bad thing.</p>Could Levoxyl have (slowly but surely) worsened my AAtag:alopeciaworld.com,2014-05-14:2022678:BlogPost:11865772014-05-14T03:00:00.000ZOnlyChild1213https://alopeciaworld.com/profile/curly1982
<p>Hello all,</p>
<p>I've had AA quite a long time now and am well-acquainted with its unpredictability and mysterious nature. BUT, something keeps bugging me and I'd be interested in a weigh-in or five.</p>
<p>First let me say that I've had eczema since infancy and had a dime-sized bald spot since kindergarten (though I was not diagnosed with AA till the end of college). So, my autoimmune history is well-established.</p>
<p>Yet. From my diagnosis in 2005 up till Fall 2011, my AA was never as…</p>
<p>Hello all,</p>
<p>I've had AA quite a long time now and am well-acquainted with its unpredictability and mysterious nature. BUT, something keeps bugging me and I'd be interested in a weigh-in or five.</p>
<p>First let me say that I've had eczema since infancy and had a dime-sized bald spot since kindergarten (though I was not diagnosed with AA till the end of college). So, my autoimmune history is well-established.</p>
<p>Yet. From my diagnosis in 2005 up till Fall 2011, my AA was never as bad as it has been for the past couple years - in fact I'd say it was the mild side of moderate - but now it continues to steadily worsen. Where not so long ago were dark corkscrew curls, I now have nothing but straggler-fuzz and the urge to shave my head is a daily impulse.</p>
<p>I can't help but notice that what's different about that time frame is that it's the exact time frame I've been taking Levoxyl for hypothyroidism. I was (to my awareness, at least) asymptomatic for hypo in 2011 when a blood test indicated a 5.74 TSH and I started the meds. Since then my yearly blood test has come back "normal". But in that exact same time frame, the hair loss has steadily worsened - never dramatically all at once, but an incremental, unmistakable progression.</p>
<p>Your thoughts? :) Simply a natural turn for the worse of a disorder I've always had, or a side effect? Impossible to tell? All are welcome.</p>