Alopecia World
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How do you tell people?
How do you go about telling people you have alopecia? I find it very hard and don't tell many people.
Some of my friends try cheering you up, at least you don't worry about a bad hair day, you can get ready so fast in the morning.
I would kill for blow drying my hair again. Wouldn't you? Friends try to help the best they can.
They also say it must be cool, you can wear a different wig everyday and change your hair color every day.
I don't want that. I don't want people to know. I alternate between two wigs that are very similar. I don't want people to know. I guess I can't accept it now.
People who know don't treat me differently, but it's still, after 10 years, so hard.
What do I tell people?
Some of my friends try cheering you up, at least you don't worry about a bad hair day, you can get ready so fast in the morning.
I would kill for blow drying my hair again. Wouldn't you? Friends try to help the best they can.
They also say it must be cool, you can wear a different wig everyday and change your hair color every day.
I don't want that. I don't want people to know. I alternate between two wigs that are very similar. I don't want people to know. I guess I can't accept it now.
People who know don't treat me differently, but it's still, after 10 years, so hard.
What do I tell people?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Dee on
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Oh my gosh, Debbie..you sound like me! Trust me, I feel your pain.
My immediate family and friends are aware of my alopecia. I also share with people I don't know that well at times because one never knows what someone else is going through. I want to be a blessing to someone else.
When it comes to dating....that is where I really have a hard time. A dear friend of mine told me I don't have to tell anyone anything if i don't want to. I actually will tell them if hair comes up or if I feel very comfortable with the man pretty early on. I don't want to be deceptive, I do think think that eventually he needs to know and make a decision as to if he can deal with the alopecia or not.
I tell you, it shows you what he is made of!
Peace and Blessings.
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Permalink Reply by Debbie on
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So basically, like me, you don't tell many people. The funny thing is, when I started dating my husband, on our third date we were talking how we were healthy, no problems, etc. At that point, I still had most of my hair, very spotty. You couldn't tell at that point. So I told him what I had and one day I might go bald. Well, what do you think he did. He laughed at me. He didn't believe me. For once, I wish he would have been right. But a few months after our wedding, I lost it all.
I know he hates when my hair is off, always says I look better with it, but I would prefer to go without it, especially in the summer. I wish he was more understanding about it. He's good in every other way, but that still bothers me.
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Permalink Reply by Emma on
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I have been wearing wigs for 10 years now and although I have changed styles I always wear one style at a time. I am not one for changing them daily and having different colours or anything. My immediate family and friends know.
I have tried to tell other people before...like the mums in the playground when they go on about hairstyles and say how nice mine is etc...I have said that it is ok for a wig and they just laugh and think I am joking. They have never taken me seriously. I take it as a compliment really. Never able to get too in depth with them anyhow as we only really chat whilst waiting the 5 mins for the kids to come out.
Dating, I have before now not told the person straight away and they never found out as the relationship never went very far. Recently I told my new partner the night that I met him, I thought that it was then all out and if he wasn't ok with the fact that I wear a wig then he wasn't the man for me. I must say that the people I have dated that knew have never had a problem with it. There are some really good men out there.
Hugs
Emma x
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It's funny how you say the don't take you seriously. People have no clue that I wear a wig. Everyone says it looks great.
I told my husband on our third date and he laughed at me. You couldn't tell then, I had pactches and they were covered. He didn't believe me. Boy, I proved him wrong. That's the one time I wish he was right.
I do have to be thankful that I'm not sick. It makes me feel better, but I still think it's unfair.
Ever notice in the Sunday paper where they have the coupons, there is a whole section on hair products? Maybe one day I can use them again.
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Permalink Reply by Amber on
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i thought for a second I was reading my own blog. I think we are related somehow. haha just kidding. but seriously i have every thought that you have. I struggle with telling people and I just want to hide. When my friends get haircuts or dye their hair I try not to get to upset with knowing that I will never be able to do that.
I don't want to be different but for some reason God chose me to stand out. So everyday gets a little easier. I find it much easier to talk about my alopecia in one-on-one settings where i can control whats going on. I have always hated it and often can't even get through talking about my alopecia with a larger group of people.
sometimes I just tell them I have alopecia and thats that. Some people will prob for more but it just depends on how I feel whether i talk about it or not. I just tell them the truth. and some women are accepting and some aren't. You have those women who are like "I could never be bald, I would have to kill myself" and think well do you have gun? let me do the honors.
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I tell people with pride and most people take it very well.It was very easy to tell my husband AJ 3 years ago when we started dating at my place.I told him that I have Alopecia and pulled my wig off.He told me that he still loves me and I look beautiful without hair.He does say I look sexy without hair.My friends know I have Alopecia and say I look beautiful without hair.
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You are so lucky your husband is like that. My husband prefers me with the wig on. I'm so frustrated about that. I wish he would tell me it didn't matter to him. He's so good on every other level, but this one is really important to me. I'm so mad that I have this and I can't do anything about it. My insurance won't even cover any wigs, which is not right. I just wish my husband was more supportive.
The other thing is that from totally having AU now I'm having quite a bit of hair growth. So it would really look funny to go without a wig.
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Permalink Reply by Stacey Benioni on
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Hi Debbie...Oh it sounds like your going through a tought time and I believe that all people with AA has been in your shoes. Some have concured accepting AA and some haven't. Oh personally hun, I think it comes down to your own identity and personality. If the people you know accept who you are then that's something that you can use to show people that you have AA. I've only told my immediate family and it was a big reveal. I had them at a family meeting and throughout the whole meeting, I was thinking whether or not I should share my deep dark secret to them. I looked at my mothers face when I told my family and that was so sad because she cried. I felt her tears and felt the saddness from my family. I didn't want them to think that I was hidding this secret from them because I was shamed or didn't accept it. So as I said before, it all depends on your own personality and how you reveal your idenity is totally up to you. I was blessed by my family to know that they cared and most of all treated me the same.
I do wish I could go to the hair dressers and straighted my hair when I go out. I miss doing that, it was so much fun but also a hassel and I took ages to do my hair. Every day I just believe that my hair is there and I treat myself to other presious things in life that God has created. Like shoes, bags, clothes and socks. I've invested in still keeping my looks updated and wild.
I hope to hear from you. Good luck and never put your head down people wanna see the face!!!
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