Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Coping with Transitions
Hi everyone! Before I ask my question(s), I just want to thank everyone who's welcomed me to the site already. I've only been a member for two days, and I can already tell this is a great community here.
I'm wondering what your best coping strategies have been for maintaining a positive outlook and living full lives with alopecia, especially in times of transition. I've had hair loss for six years now and think it must be either diffuse aa or chronic telogen effluvium, though I haven't been diagnosed yet (my profile explains a little more about my situation). My hair's gotten to the point where it feels way too thin to me, and considering I've been losing hair for six years now, I know there will probably come a time in the next few months or so where I'll have to get a topper or wig.
The hardest part about this is that while I'm dealing with my hair transition, I'm also dealing with a lot of other ones in my life. In the past six months, I've graduated college, moved from Illinois to California to start my career, got a new boyfriend and have been trying to make new friends and get involved out here. With the hair loss, though, I feel a little like a ticking time bomb. No one I know out here is aware of my condition, because I haven't gotten to the point where it's completely noticeable and I feel like I have to tell people. I know I'll have to tell my boyfriend soon, but I can't help but worry that he'll break up with me or not be attracted to me anymore if I tell him about my hair loss. And while I know that if a guy can't see past my hair, he's not worth it, it sucks because he's my best friend out here. I've made a few other friends here so far and have been getting involved in a few groups in my area, but it's nothing compared to the strong support system I have with my family and friends back in the Midwest. I just worry, perhaps irrationally, that these people won't want to be friends with me if I have severe hair loss, especially since I don't know the people in these groups well enough yet to consider them more than acquaintances.
Do you guys have any advice for me, or perhaps others facing a similar situation? What's the best way to deal when you're facing hair loss and also away from your best friends and family? I've always considered myself a positive person and really try to embrace life, especially since my mom passed away from cancer five years ago. But with trying to adjust to all these changes happening in my life and dealing with hair loss at the same time, it's gotten me kind of down lately. I may lose my hair, but I really don't want to lose myself in the process.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
I'm wondering what your best coping strategies have been for maintaining a positive outlook and living full lives with alopecia, especially in times of transition. I've had hair loss for six years now and think it must be either diffuse aa or chronic telogen effluvium, though I haven't been diagnosed yet (my profile explains a little more about my situation). My hair's gotten to the point where it feels way too thin to me, and considering I've been losing hair for six years now, I know there will probably come a time in the next few months or so where I'll have to get a topper or wig.
The hardest part about this is that while I'm dealing with my hair transition, I'm also dealing with a lot of other ones in my life. In the past six months, I've graduated college, moved from Illinois to California to start my career, got a new boyfriend and have been trying to make new friends and get involved out here. With the hair loss, though, I feel a little like a ticking time bomb. No one I know out here is aware of my condition, because I haven't gotten to the point where it's completely noticeable and I feel like I have to tell people. I know I'll have to tell my boyfriend soon, but I can't help but worry that he'll break up with me or not be attracted to me anymore if I tell him about my hair loss. And while I know that if a guy can't see past my hair, he's not worth it, it sucks because he's my best friend out here. I've made a few other friends here so far and have been getting involved in a few groups in my area, but it's nothing compared to the strong support system I have with my family and friends back in the Midwest. I just worry, perhaps irrationally, that these people won't want to be friends with me if I have severe hair loss, especially since I don't know the people in these groups well enough yet to consider them more than acquaintances.
Do you guys have any advice for me, or perhaps others facing a similar situation? What's the best way to deal when you're facing hair loss and also away from your best friends and family? I've always considered myself a positive person and really try to embrace life, especially since my mom passed away from cancer five years ago. But with trying to adjust to all these changes happening in my life and dealing with hair loss at the same time, it's gotten me kind of down lately. I may lose my hair, but I really don't want to lose myself in the process.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Stephanie on
-
Katie, I moved to the city when I graduated from college and only knew about two people (only one of them knew about my hair at the time). But as I started to feel comfortable with people, I slowly started letting them in. I became such close friends with a girl from work that I took her with me to pick out a new wig. Eventually, I started telling people the truth. Honestly, you'll be surprised how most people just don't pay attention. I'm constantly going from short wigs to longer styles or changing my color. From short bangs to long bangs and no one notices (except the people who know I'm getting new hair). Most people don't even notice I don't have eyebrows. Even when I had the most fake looking wigs in college, most people couldn't tell. That gives you a lot of freedom to tell people as you get comfortable with them. I would say you should tell your boyfriend, though. If he breaks up with you for something like your hair, he doesn't deserve you. You should accept nothing less than someone who will celebrate you for who you are and everything you've overcome in your life.
-
Permalink Reply by Nants the Rebellion Dog on
-
One of the ways I cope with stressful situations/transitions is this: I keep a journal and write my feelings in it every day. At the same time, I keep a gratitude journal. Each day I write 3 things I'm grateful for first thing in the morning. That manages to focus me onto gratitude right away, keep me looking for things to be grateful fo during the day (since I have to write them the next morning) and gives me a tool to pull me out of a funk. It's hard to feel scared or pissy when you have a long list of things you're grateful for! You just keep doing your best every day, and all will be well. You are so much more than your hair!
-
Permalink Reply by Amy on
-
Been in your shoes..many times, over the past 10yrs!
And, I had to chuckle at myself, over telling the boyfriend!! I remember, with my husband, specifically, how I dreaded that "talk!" I mean, I felt like it was revealing an STD, which isn't funny, but that's how you feel. Surprisingly, he said, "Oh, really? Ok!"--Like, Okay, so she likes asparagus!! But, not everyone was accepting as he is.
A journal is an excellent idea. In fact, I need to start journaling again.
Exercise, relaxation, surounding yourself with positive support--negative ones need to be shown the door--& find something that you enjoy. Reading, exercising, travel.....whatever your interest is.
And, above all, don't let the Alopecia run your life! I did that for so many years & the only one who suffered was me!
Hang in there!
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
