Alopecia World
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Help :(
im just going through a major rough patch and was wondering if anyone had any good vibes to send me.... my boyfriend just betrayed my trust, i kicked him out, moved into a 1-bedroom and am trying to start fresh.... i was completely bald for the last 2 years, but recently (past 6 months) i have started regrowth and have a lot of dark patches everywhere (of couse, i still do not have a hairline, who knew someone could want a hairline so bad?) i look crazy, i feel..... i just got used to being bald and comfortable, of course having a loving boyfriends helped.... and now i find myself alone... im having difficulty and am fighting depression.... i just lots my bag of wigs too, in my move, i cant believe it, icing on the cake.... i miss my old boyfriend, i feel like no one will love me again, i feel ugly, and i have low-motivation.... life sucks currently and i would like to go back to believing life is beautiful... help?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kelci on
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WOAH! Pick your head up girly! You a beautiful! Of course it is comforting at times to have a guy there to tell you how beautiful you are no matter what but you need to be able to tell yourself that NO MATTER WHAT. Know that bald is beautiful and you are not alone! We are all here. I've have Alopecia since I was 7 years old. I stopped wearing my wig when I was 13 and haven't put one on since. When my friends talk about it they say they can't even imagine me with hair anymore and that I wouldn't be the same person. At times Alopecia is hard but think about the positive things that have come from it and how it has molded you into the strong outstanding person you are today. It has made you bold and confident. Know that anyone who judges you for your looks probably isn't happy with themselves so they look to bring down others to lift them up.
Alopecia is a beautiful thing if we make it that. These challenges are put in front of us to help us find ourselves. And please please know you are not alone. haha I may sound crazy because I've never even met you but if you need to talk you can im me e-mail even call me! My name is Kelci Parker. I've been bald for 14 years and have never regretted it. I have made some of my best friends through alopecia and learned so much about myself. I would not be the person I am today if it wasn't for this. Know you are amazing and don't ever let ANYONE tell you different.
At times when I get sad about boys and think for a moment they may not want me because of my condition I have to stop and tell myself "Do I really want someone who doesn't except me for me? If he doesn't like me because I don't have hair I don't want to date him anyway."
You WILL find love again and you are awesome! Know that and let your motivation shine back into your life. People who bring you down are not worth your time! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!
seriously
I will talk to you if you need anything! haha -
Kelci
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Permalink Reply by Kae Kneckers on
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First off, forget about your boyfriend. I know things are rough for you but this isn't about him, it's about you. And so what if you don't have wigs, just keep a hat with you if you feel insecure and work on being beautiful elsewhere than with using hair pieces. Work out or whiten your teeth and perfect your skin. I'm not saying to reach for beauty but girls always want to look their best so have fun with it and don't mope about what you don't have and work with what you do have. You'll find someone right for you, until then just have fun with your friends and hit on people at clubs and do silly things that make you laugh. But don't forget that alopecia isn't just about hair, it's about your whole immune system. Your immune system is out of whack and thus could be the reason for your depression. Ask your doctor about prednizone to help keep your immune system level, and who knows, maybe your hair will start to grow back, mine did. =] Also, alopecia is related to allergies as well (due to both being caused by an overactive immune system) so take antihistamines and you'll feel much better. =] I hope you have a great day and remember all the possibilities of life and all the good things that you can accomplish.
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Permalink Reply by Tanya Stone on
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How long were you on the prednisonse and did you experience side effects?
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Hi! I understand. I am very new to this stie but can relate to almost eveyone! I have come to a believe in my life that some men just plain old suck!!! I want to beleive it's because of my hair but it's not me, it's him. I held it inside and prevented a man from touching my hair for soooo many years, now I feel it, stand up and am not afraid but still feel a bit defeated...we have a crap pass in life but I think had I not had this, I may not be ther compassionate wowan I grew to be, The one people need on their side. Men come and go, you will always be! Never settle and make yourself happy and FIRST! keep in touch!
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Please try to find a local support group in your area for Alopecia. Your support group members will really boost your ego up, it's just what you need. You may even find another woman in the group who has so much confidence in herself that you won't believe you ever felt the way you do. Give it a try. There's nothing like being in the presence of others going through the same thing. Being on Alopecia World was a very good step to take in your healing process, but if you could find others who feel or have felt the way that you do and you could really talk it out with them, cry it out, scream it out, you get the picture, you will start to heal. You really can't expect someone else to make you feel beautiful, weather you are short, tall, overweight, skinny, etc., if you love yourself and I know you do, then love will find you. It's the beast of confidence that we need to find within ourselves and let loose for others to see. Once you find it and release it, you will wonder what you were worried about. Tell yourself, I am beautiful and my hair doesn't define my every being. You are so very important to so many people in your life and they want to see you succeed and be happy. Good Luck!
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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Sometimes adding back into your life all you missed over the past two years takes a major attack on many fronts: new starts or retrieval of old favorites ten-fold instead of one at a time. If you put back your own favorite scents, tactile objects, sounds (music? chimes?), tastes, temperatures, and sights, (in your room, car, home, garden and body), at least ONE of them will bring a smile to your face. Dance. Sing. Paint. Bake. Talk. Run. Sometimes, a surprising thing happens: people see you doing these things and liking them, and will be drawn to you...then, the fun starts. But it won't happen overnight, so get ready to build your life back up again. It takes effort to become real...but taking that time makes you wonderful. Just remember: Life is crafting someone else out there, slowly, whom you will meet someday when you are NOT depressed!
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Permalink Reply by Norm on
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Hiya Lindsay! Just wanted to say that I'm with Marlene and Tallgirl here - I think you should bake some cakes. Then invite some of us round to help you to eat them.... hey, isn't that what this friendly community's all about - helping each other out??? Cos we just luuurrrrve doing that... especially when there's cakes involved :)
Ooh, just a minute, what's that on your face... could it be a smile??? ;)
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Permalink Reply by Lindsay on
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i love you all <3 thank you for all the kind words and awesome suggestions, I will definitely try them.... this weekend did help me heal some, i spent some time in the sunshine listening to some lilve music, it really helped me feel some peace..... it will get better, it always does..... you are all so wonderful, i am so glad that i was smart enough to join this site! :) thank you again....
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