A decade and still trying to cope

Hi everyone. I am Sakschi from India. I am a second yr college student.

 it was October 2005 when I first saw a small patch of baldness on my head. Of course it was AA. Years and Years passed and the patches grew in size. I underwent my first humiliation coz of it when a guy in high school taunted my boyfriend of having a bald galfriend (at that time I had lost most of my lower borderline hair). Eight months ago he left me stating reasons like how it's not possible for his family to adjust with a balding gal. I dated him for three yrs and now I sit in absolute vacuum.

 By God's grace I have a great family. I got a wig in the first year of college. since then I find myself blessed as I am able to cover my balding head atleast. Ours is a society where baldness is not even talked about openly (but only in sick jokes).

 As of now I have somewhat of a boycut hair but I still use a wig for the fear of developing the patches again. Alopecia has made me a more sensitive individual and opened me to my own conscience. I often dream of enjoying the wind and the rain sans fear of any gazes on my head. Everyday the sight of a girl sporting her natural hair freely pinches me hard. I swallow my tears and pray for strength. my friends who know of this call me a strong person. I'd be strong one day in true sense.

Thank you everyone for going through my half happy, half sad story.

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Permalink Reply by Manesh (AKA) BiggBaddBoss on March 16, 2015 at 3:46pm
Hi Sakshi,

Well don't see it as a curse. Maybe we are blessed. Cause the person who stays with us and loves us will not leave us in vacuum for such reasons. If they do... then you are lucky he/ she left .

I too faced a similar condition earlier. My girlfriend and I were in love for 4 years when finally she told me.. " we cannot be together as her parents cannot accept a hairless guy" also the most painful excuse that " if we are married, maybe the kids will also develop this condition".

Well I want to conclude by saying one thing. Be strong and confident , never give ears to what others say, fell or express. It has nothing to do with you.

You will for sure find someone good, caring and loving.

Regards,
Manesh
Permalink Reply by sakschi on July 4, 2015 at 4:11pm

Hello Manesh

I am glad to have met someone who can relate to my situation. And yes you are right in saying that we are lucky for we did not deserve such people in our lives.

Thank you.

Permalink Reply by femmemuscle on July 12, 2015 at 8:43pm

Hey thanks for posting!

I do remember the day i had to accept the fact that i had alopecia.  For years, i had a full head of hair where i could wear pretty cool hairstyles.  People would play in it. I was actually "well known" for my thick/full mane.  When it started falling out?  People totally changed their tune.  Especially the men.  Before, they were darn near chasing me down in the grocery stores, college, the gym.  When that hairloss came about?  They would literally run away or avoid me at all costs - especially in front of their friends.  Specifically, young males.

There's one good thing that came out of this?

At least i figured out the ones that truly liked ME for ME, versus like me  for my hair.

Occasionally, I have dreams of having my long hair back, like an amputee or crippled person has told me of having dreams of walking/running.

Now? i'm dealing with nightmares of being in a room full of people, public event, or at a party, or the gym and my wig falls off, or accidentally getting it caught on a piece of equipment.

I don't know what happened. I don't know if it was menopause, stress, being in college, getting older, diabetes that might have brought this on, but it's nice to know that when i come here to this website, i'm not alone.

What i'm learning to stop myself from doing?  Is chasing after two things:

1) The holy grail of "miracle hair growth treatments"

2) The holy grail of the "most natural looking wigs".  

This isn't easy.  There are so many charlatans out there that say if you take this pill, you'll have a head full of hair in a month.  Plus, they have "fake reviewers" saying how wonderful their product is.  And within one to two months, they were long haired porn stars. (not only are these miracles supposed to regrow hair - but increase our libido as well!)

And of course, you have the reps of wig companies telling how their $5000+ wig "Changed their Life!"..

Whelp, if i had $5,000 extra, my life would be changed.  My rent and utilities would be taken care of for a least 6 months.

Thanks OP for sharing your experience.  And yeah, the sight of people with full heads of hair does hurt a little.:)

Permalink Reply by sakschi on July 29, 2015 at 1:45pm

Yeah you actually are right. It actually helped me too in distinguishing between real and fake friends. Even I do get dreams, but then those are not nightmares.Those are good dreams where I find myself with normal hair if not long lustrous mane like the ones in the ads of hair products. It gets very sad and disturbing to wake up to reality. Even after a decade I try to not weep myself to sleep. But, it gets tough occasionally. Alopecia has been on and off for me. Right now its on in full mode! I am about to finish with my college soon and start with my higher studies or maybe a job. I want that new phase of my life to start on a healthy note. I wish writing down this wish could make it happen for real...

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