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Advice for a heartbroken mom
My 3 year old son was diagnosed with Alopecia about a month ago. I believe it started back in October with a small patch on his right side which spread to his whole right side of hair gone within 4 months. Now we noticed two- three smaller patches on the top of his head. As a mom you love your children unconditionally and want the best for them. It breaks my heart to see him going through this. He will begin pre K in fall and I'm more concerned with how the other children are going to interact with him. I don't let him see but every morning I cry. When does the sadness leave? How do I learn to cope. I think one of the most frustrating things is the not knowing. Will it grow back? Will he loose all his hair? How long will it take? What will help? Deep sigh.. I'm also 5 months pregnant so I know I'm a bit hormonal. Right now our Dr. has us using a topical steroid and has had him tested for a thyroid condition. Although I don't feel the Dr. gave us that much info, I think I have learned more on this site in the last week than I have from the Dr. The test results came back normal which is a relief. I tell him every day that he is special and no matter what he is mommy's handsome little man. He asks me "Mommy is my hair going to be okay?" Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciative. I'm just glad to find a place with such a great support group.
-Angie (Brayden's mommy)
-Angie (Brayden's mommy)
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jeweli Due on
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I do not know about steroids for children with AA, however, I swear by the kenalog shots to the scalp. Once or twice a year, for the last 15 or so, I will notice a spot starting. Falls out fast, quarter size by the time I notice and I rush to my dermatologist. If you want a good laugh on medical treatment, Dr. referals, & security guards, read my bio story. I too was given the topical cremes, even one to treat yeast infection & ringworm by a family physician.....who I now realize didn't know a thing about AA, & was too cock sure of himself to refer me out. By the time I threw my screaming, crying fit of rage in the waiting room, 1/2 my head was bald. Since getting the steroid shots, which uses a fine needle & painless, I know I do not have to worry & my hair will grow back. You may want to see if you can find a pediatric dermatologist to take a look at your son. May have answers or options that your regular Dr. could be unaware of.
I wish you & your son all the luck in the world & the strength to get through this. Could always be worse...atleast this isn't terminal!
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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on
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It really is ok to grieve and that takes time. Give yourself that time to move past the pain you are feeling. I totally disagree that this is all about hair. (Gosh, if only). This is about your worry about how you are going to move your beautiful young son through life with a condition that changes the way he looks to those around him. You truly have a right to worry and be concerned about that. Not because you are superficial but because you are a mum who has lived in this world and understands that cruelty for reason of difference is not an unusual occurence and you don't want that to happen to your son. Totally understandable and from my experience this will be ok. You just have to find the way that suits you and your son the best.
I see that shame is discussed here. Yes, that is something that you can pass on, but I'm pretty sure from your lovely post that is one of your worst fears and that is why you are here to learn. Shame can be passed on not just from parents but from those outside in the big wide world - I would suggest that is where you worry lies. You seem like a very proactive mum doing your best to find a way to makes sure that all the bases are covered and your son is moving forward with this being a small part of who he is (not the defining feature). Even though as he gets older he may prefer it to be that way. That's where you come in isn't it. Communication is imperative for those with alopecia and those trying to help. Even for a little fellow like your wee boy.
I also disagree that he doesn't understand that he is a little different having no hair, even at 3. I don't believe it will be enormous part of who he is but I would say he will be curious about why his hair is doing this strange thing. Honesty and straight forward (age appropriate) discussion will help. You will have and get the knowledge to help him at every junction of his life and believe me, like children change, their needs with regards to this condition change all the time as well
If I can ever be of help please feel free to contact me any time. This is not an easy thing to go through and even though I know that you know there are worse things out there, the reality for you at the moment is you are feeling in the middle of a crisis, you don't need to be told there are worse things - sort of minimises your pain and makes you feel a little guilty for feeling upset - trust me you have a right to deal with this pain and get upset and do what you need to get this right. You will work this out and I would say well.
Keep trusting yourself to get this right - you know your son and you are a great mum.
Rosy
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I'm in the same boat as you. My son started school and to my surprise kids at this age do not seem to notice these things. They don't even comment about it. I guess it's there innocence. I still worry as he will grow how others will react. I do not want him to feel uncomfortable because of his condition. He feels his bold spots but we never really spoke in front of him about it. We wanted him to feel as normal as possible before he grows any insecurities. His teacher tells me he is confident and happy little boy. I know I cannot protect him forever. But as long as I can I will! I hope that helps you to know that kids are not the ones who will say hurtful things in this regard.
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Read this pertaining to Alopecia and Children just a few minutes ago:
Naginiene et al. [4] found a lower level of zinc in blood and urine of children with alopecia and increased levels of copper and chromium concentrations in their hair compared to healthy individuals.
Just posted the following discussion, perhaps add your "sample" of diet to it and if so moved, please encourage others. Based on other things I read tonight the discussion is titled:
"Anyone eat seafood regularly? Some substantial claims regarding seafood and autoimmune diseases, also mineral deficiency findings" in the Symptoms, treatment options, and research Discussion Section (and perhaps under the latests posts if people respond)
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I just read this pertaining to Alopecia and Children just a few minutes ago:
Naginiene et al. [4] found a lower level of zinc in blood and urine of children with alopecia and increased levels of copper and chromium concentrations in their hair compared to healthy individuals.
Just posted the following discussion, perhaps add your "sample" of diet to it and if so moved, please encourage others. Based on some other things I read tonight, the discussion I added is titled:
"Anyone eat seafood regularly? Some substantial claims regarding seafood and autoimmune diseases, also mineral deficiency findings" in the Symptoms, treatment options, and research Discussion Section (and perhaps under the latests posts if people respond)
The discussion references a couple interesting articles on mineral deficiency and trace elements as being a possible cause of AA. I've had AA on and off for 15 years, most of that time I had hair, but my hair is going out one more time again now, much more slowly than it has in the past (taking about 3 years to lose 50%).
I think if we all work together we can solve this thing.
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