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Alopecia and teenage boys
My 16 year old boy was recently diagnosed with Alpoecia. He had a very thick and beautiful head of hair before April. 2010 and not it is very sparse and he is growing it out to comb over the spots to hide them. he is having a very hard time coping with it and the doctor (who has seen a lot of cases) is not that supportive. I have never had this problem and am having a hard time supporting him as he is very upset and gets quite defensive when we talk about it.
How does anyone else cope with their children going through this? We have been on the internet and seen pictures but it does not help him personally.
he is very worried about going to school in September (grade 12) and what he peers will say about him.
Please suggest something for me to help him.
thans
How does anyone else cope with their children going through this? We have been on the internet and seen pictures but it does not help him personally.
he is very worried about going to school in September (grade 12) and what he peers will say about him.
Please suggest something for me to help him.
thans
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Hus on
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Hey there Im 20 years old I also have alopecia areata and I know exactly how your son feels my friends joke around with me about it sometimes but I just try to blank it out of my mind and joke around with them to ...the best thing to tell your son which my father told me is that the more you think about it the worse it may get because many people have said it could be stress related and if he does think about it more it might not help at all so just tell him to keep it off his mind and to be as patient as he can because it does take time to regrow from what i have been reading and hearing...also you should tell him that many people have the same problem with their hair so that he knows he isnt one in a million who has alopecia.
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Hi there. thanks so much for your reply. I have had a lot of replies from women but very few men or teenage boys. My son is rather high strung and does go off the deep end occassionally. Last spring his Uncle (53 years old) passed away from cancer, his father was naturally not the best to deal with at that time. He is going into grade 12 and is stressing over what to do after high school. He is the type that lets every little thing get to him. We have tried talking about what to do with his alopecia but it only causes him to stress more. He has had it since last April. I am trying to assure him that it will grow back but after reading the blogs and getting replies I am not sure that is the case (although I have not told him this). He is now considering shaving his head before school starts in September. I have told him that perhaps it would be best if he shaved his head himself than trying to hide it which is becoming increasingly difficult. He now has a large bald patch on the back of his head and many bald patches around the the sides.
I am considering having him talk to a psychologist to try to get at the root of his stress.
Thanks again for your reply and good luck to you.
Trish
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It does take a while to grow back sometimes it grows back sometimes it doesnt but useually if the alopecia problem is just in patch forms and doesnt get worse than that then it grows back but if it was to get worse then its less of a chance growing back or so I have herd thats why many people who have completely lost there hair find it harder for the hair to grow back than the people who have only lost patches of hair. From the way you described it I think it is very similar to mine because I also have a large bald patch on the back of my head and smaller bald patches around one side of my hair. My doctor told me to leave it alone and that I have a very big chance of it growing back since I havnt lost all of my hair which made me happier but he did say it will take some time. There are creams which you could get prescribed from a doctor which could stimulate the growth for some people it has been successfull for some people but for some it hasnt made a difference I have also herd of many home remedy's such as the juice of garlic and onion being used on the bald patches It doesnt work for everyone but you could give it a try. If he does not want to do any of these you could possibly get his hair cut in a different style ...a friend of mine had alopecia for a very long time because it runs in his family genes and he always gets his hair cut short i started getting mine cut short to so its not as noticeable ...if he has only lost hair on the back of his head and the sides but not the top and wants to cut his hair so its not as noticeable you should take him to the barbers to get a skin fade it looks something like this http://0.tqn.com/d/menshair/1/0/8/1/-/-/buzzcut3.jpg I hope this helps and good luck im sure it will grow back though just takes time.
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Thanks so much for your reply. I am going to show him the picture you sent. I think he would be more comfortable trying that then shaving it entirely bald. The top of his hair is not as thick as it was but it does not have any bald patches yet. I am keeping my fingers crossed that it won't all go.
Good luck with your own situation. I am glad you took the time to reply to me. I am trying to load up my information so that when my son wants to talk I can give him some good advice.
Trish
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Permalink Reply by Heather on
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Hi Trish..
My name is Heather, and I'm a 16 year old girl, so I sort of understand what he's going through. I have to say, I think it must be harder for a boy, because girls can more easily wear wigs, fake eyelashes, makeup eyebrows... However, I totally understand what he is feeling. I was diagnosed in grade 5, so I have totally gotten used to it now and everything. My first suggestion is to refer him to this site, because having someone to talk to who is going through it actually really helps - more so than one would expect. I didn't have anyone to talk to who had it when I was first diagnosed, and it would have really helped. Also, if the hairloss gets any worse, I'd suggest he shave his head. Guys at my school shave their heads all the time, so it would be cool. He could even shave his head now, and have a wig made out of it, either for him or for a cancer patient or something. It's so much easier to deal with it when constantly worrying if the hair is going to fall out.
A little suggestion if he's not wanting to shave his head, there is this makeup sort of thing that you can get to match your hair colour, and you put it on the spots where there's no hair. That way, it's harder for other people to notice.
I really feel like it's possible to deal with it and get on with it. I really hope it turns out okay for you and your son!!
Heather :)
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trish, If his alopecia is not that bad yet and he still wants to cover the spots he can try toppik. just sprinkle it in to spots and it binds to the sparse hairs. works pretty well. if he goes for the shaved head, just try to keep a positive attitude and maybe he can even joke about it before his friends have a chance. i was actually relieved after i finally shaved mine. i just told my friends i was becoming "follically challenged" and needed the "big shave". i was tired of always wearing hats and staying away from things i enjoyed because of my patchy hair, such as swimming. his true friends will still be friends. i've seen boys/men from 16-30 shaving their heads, some are "follically challenged", some just do it for the look. they still play sports, date girls, and are accepted in school and the workplace. i think you just have to support which decision he feels is right for him at the time. dont get offended when he is defensive, it takes awhile to get over the "why me" attitude with alopecia.
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Hi Tim, thanks for your reply and support. Matt decided to shave his head before school started. He had a few people ask him why he did it but his reply was because he wanted to. After a few weeks everyone stopped asking and Matt calmed down. He has now accepted his shaved head and is doing a lot better with it. He had a scare for a while that he was losing his eyebrows and eyelashes but I think it was because he was pulling at them out of nervousness. He has stopped pulling them now and they are not falling out. Only thing we have noticed now is that his hair is not growing at all. There is stubble there but no real growth. I guess that will come in time. Thanks again for your information. Everyone that has contacted me has been so positive, it has helped me deal with my son.
Trish
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Trisha my son is 15 and going thru the same thing. We go to children's hospital in denver this week.
My son has not yet come to any sort of terms with it. I'm in the same boat as you.
Is your son on this website? My son has not joined yet either but is on Facebook. Maybe they could friend each other?
My documentation of my kids hair loss is on my blog;)
I sent you a friend request if you want to talk
Myssi
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Hi Myssi: my son just turned 18 and has had alpoecia for about 1 1/2 years now. At first he was totally embarrassed because his hair was in patches. I took him to my hairdresser and she tried to cut his hair to hide the spots which worked temporarily. Before he started grade 12 I convinced him to shave his head totally, which he finally did. His friends knew what he was going through because they had seen the patchiness. They didn't disagree or tease him about his choice about shaving his head. The kids at school who had not seen him all summer wondered what had happened. His sister goes to the same school and everyone was asking her if he had cancer or something. She said no he just decided to shave his head. That was the end of that as far as I know. He is now undergoing treatments at a hospital in Toronto, Ontario about 3 1/2 months now. He was very amazed at the amount of people and the various ages that have Alopecia in one form or another. He always felt that he was the only one even though I tried to get him on this website. He is noticing some "stubble" in some of the spots that were completely smooth. He is still in denial and is sometimes embarrassed to be seen by people he knows, especially family he doesn't see on a regular basis. He wears a hat all the time except when it is inappropriate.
He is on facebook as well but am not sure if he would be willing to discuss this with your son. If I can convince him then they could exchange info. It might help both of them. I will let you know.
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