Are we just overreacting?

Are we just over reacting when we get upset with people staring at us??
So I was at work the other day and was telling about how tired I was about people staring at my bald head. And how I was ready to yell at them to stop staring or something along those lines. To which was replied "Someone that was in my situation should be more understanding and forgiving since seeing a bald woman was not common." OMG... does that sound reasonable?

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Permalink Reply by Lexi on February 20, 2011 at 2:12pm
OK, call me ignorant. Whenever, the few times, I see a bald or balding woman, I discreetly "look"....I am not looking for cruel reasons...I am just looking because of my own situation, only, the person I am looking at discreetly, probably doesn't notice me looking, as I say, discreetly, and if I could I would speak to them and talk about my situation, and wanting to possibly know theirs. Again, not for cruel reasons. Just that I would want to know if they had AA ...and how they cope. And where they get their strength from to go out into the world without hair. For a woman, that takes strength beyond what I can imagine. I have come to understand people in the world so much better, and not to judge anyone, as you need to walk a mile in their shoes sometimes, stand in their place, to understand what they may be going thru.
Permalink Reply by Trish on April 26, 2011 at 4:16pm
Unfortunately, the people in this world who stare are also the people that would stare at a mother breast feeding her child in public....
THEY are uncomfortable with the situation and therefore expect US to do something about it by covering up. Ignorance, pure and simple.
Permalink Reply by Trish on April 27, 2011 at 11:28am
Yes I understand what you are saying Man, but c'mon....its a head! Its not like we have horns coming out of it or anything, or purple polka dots on it. People need to move on already. You see it, your brain acknowledges that its hairless and move on, big deal!!!! Its a head!!!! Everyone has one. And on top of it all, its just about the only thing we keep hair on anymore. With this society wanting no hair, anywhere else on the body, why is it still so freaky to see a hairless head. Sorry, but I'm still so uhmm, lets say "passionate" about this subject, that I better quit. :)
Permalink Reply by Norm on April 27, 2011 at 12:11pm
Well yeah, Trish, you're right.... a head's a head, and doesn't look much different whether it's on a guy or a gal. So given there are so many bald fellas around, what makes peeps stare at a woman's bald head? Beats me....
Having said that, I do understand why people can't help staring at something unusual. Just dunno why that should include a bald head. Weird....
But Trish, can I pop over and stare at you for a while? Just to see how long it takes before you get P'ed off, like. ;)
Permalink Reply by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on April 28, 2011 at 10:44am
oooohhh purple polka dots ???!!!! What a wonderful idea. I love decorating my blank canvas.

But seriously, yes I still get bothered by the stares. Slowly I am getting better, it is mostly the gawking stares that bother me the most. If I get the passing glance, I like to think to myself that the internal conversation the person is having is "wow she is showing off her uniqueness"
Working at a casino I see all sorts of people and one day while walking the gaming floor, I passed by this 20something guy with a mohawk. First thought that crossed my mind "WOW how cool!!!!" that got me to thinking, maybe there is other "stares" from people with the same thought. Or at least I will tell myself that, its better than the negative.
Permalink Reply by Trish on April 28, 2011 at 11:06am
LOL Terri....probably not the right choice to prove my point.

Yes, i know what you mean. I, just a few days ago, had to remind my own mother that just because someone is different, doesnt make them freaks. She was going on and on about people who tattoo themselves in the "shirt" pattern and how they must be disturbed somehow. I had to stop her there and remind her that NOT all people who get tattoos get them for just decorative purposes. Some people get them to hide severe scars. But that just didnt really compute with her. I gave up.
Bottom line, we all live in a very opinionated society and its best if we each take an extra couple of secs and think about things before we speak or judge.
Permalink Reply by David B327 on April 28, 2011 at 2:06pm
Terri, trust me, most people would look at you with admiration, rather than with a negative perspective.
Permalink Reply by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on April 28, 2011 at 2:19pm
Thanks David. I am starting to feel that wonderful confidence. And knowing people like you doing exactly that makes it so much easier.
Permalink Reply by Abby on May 7, 2011 at 9:55pm
When I was young I used to have people ask me all the time if I had cancer, Some kids would just be like, "What happened to you hair." as if it was my fault. I even had hard times with grown-ups even though I don't remember that (my mom told me) I was also bullied...a lot.

What I'm trying to say is. Yeah, it is super hard to deal with all the stares and questions. I wear a wig every time I leave my house because of my scarred past. But it could be worse, I guess.
Permalink Reply by JBean on May 18, 2011 at 10:45pm
As a bald 21 year old girl who doesn't wear a wig (and hasnt for the 21 years) I am used to the stares. They occur everywhere I go...sometimes they're the flat-on 2 minutes stares so when you turn around the people are still looking at you! Usually I will just stare back until the person gets the hint, but everytime people stare I become more self-aware of how different I am. I become self-consious and somewhat irritated. It does make me feel uncomfortable, but at the same time, I don't think there's anything I can do about it. Is there anything to put us at ease?
Permalink Reply by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on May 19, 2011 at 4:09pm
I wish I knew what could help us at times to make things easier. Im almost starting to think its just one of those things that we have to adjust to. Today at work I was asked why when I drove up this morning I was bald and when I come into work I feel the need to "cover up"? I just tried to explain that I do that more for the freedom of being in my car, enjoying the sun and fresh air. And me covering up has more to do with how I wish to express myself this day. Kinda of like how she decides to style her hair that day. I wish it was that simple, but I know deep inside of me I still hold onto some embarrassment to being bald.
Permalink Reply by David B327 on May 19, 2011 at 9:31pm
It can get easier Terri, but it will only be when more people are openly bald, and doing so in a confident manner. Whenever we discuss this I think back to the days when I first went bald. It was difficult but I learned to cope.

What disappoints me is that it is still an issue for a woman to be bald in public. It is ironic that it was seeing that there were women that had decided to go bald (such as for example Grace Jones and Par Evans) that gave me the confidence to do so.

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