Bald and isolated

I'm currently in the midst of my second occurrence of alopecia, this time totally hairless, "alien smooth" as I often tell my husband. I was prepared with my arsenal of beautiful wigs...wigs that I had wrapped up and stored in my basement because I was sure I would never be needing them again. At least last time I was spared my brows and lashes, which I deemed as necessary to my disguise as a woman with full, always styled hair. I was fooling my coworkers, people I passed at my kids school, fooling MYSELF. This time around, after a rapid shedding, I find myself bald, naked, totally isolated.

I've been through this before. I had full regrowth. I sawmy hairdresser on a regular basis. I no longer feared the rain like a cat. Jesus it's only hair, right?

I am coping with several autoimmune diseases. But nothing brings me to my knees the way this baldness this second time around has. I fear I am tobe a "lifer" so to speak. A member of a club I don't want to be in.

I'm a mom to two remarkable kids who love me no matter what. I have a supportive husband who says I'm still beautiful. I'm lucky.

But I just don't know how I got here once again. As if I've fallen down a hole much deeper than before. Multiple treatments in the past taught me that time is my only weapon. So I wait.

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Permalink Reply by GardenJess on September 24, 2015 at 12:40pm

I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but I just want to say that I read your words and you are not alone. I don't understand how, with alopecia said to be so common, we don't see more people dealing with it in our daily lives, but maybe that is because so many are so good at covering it up. Trust in your family's love and your own strength.

Permalink Reply by Cheyenne on September 24, 2015 at 6:37pm
My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry, I know it can be so awful. Wishing you permanent regrowth!
Permalink Reply by Xeljanzmiracle on September 26, 2015 at 8:39am
I can totally relate. I kept my AU a secret with wigs for 6 years. Please read my discussion "Starting FREE Xeljanz: Hair Regrowth Results."Hopefully it will encourage you. Valeri
Permalink Reply by Jillian on September 26, 2015 at 10:06am
Thanks everyone for your supportive and kind words. This has been quite the journey and it has taken all thus time for me to reach out to this community. I know things can always be worse.
Valeri I have been reading your post. I'm not sure how xeljanz fits into my equation. I've been on humira for five years to control my Crohn's disease, and increasing joint/muscle pain has been treated with lyrica. I also take meds for hashimoto. Do you know how xeljanz could fit into my autoimmune mess?
Permalink Reply by Xeljanzmiracle on September 26, 2015 at 10:26am
You should go see a dermatologist. I know that Xeljanz is FDA approved for rheumatoid arthritis, and that involves severe joint pain. Maybe you can get off of one of the other medications and Xeljanz will kill two birds with one stone.
Permalink Reply by youarebeautiful on September 29, 2015 at 7:17pm

hang in there kid

Permalink Reply by Sillyhon2015 on November 2, 2015 at 5:28pm
Totally fed up too- lost my lashes and eyebrows. It's tough. You're so right- we're a member of a club we don't want to be in.

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