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Beauty of alopecia
Hi everyone. My name is Brittany and I've had alopecia universals for 11 years now. I'm 23 years old now. I must say I've had some pretty traumatizing experiences that have made it look impossible to have a great future with it. I've never had a boyfriend, never been in love, never went on dates or approached, don't even have best friends. My inexperience worries me a little. I'd hate to be a loner forever; it's hard to think otherwise with 11 years of it.
However, I'd love to live as anyone else would and really be hopeful for love, a great career, a family, an awesome future. I really need some help to think of some cool positives of having alopecia. I must say learning that stress causes alopecia makes me stress even more. It's such a catch. However it's very inspiring seeing everyone so strong with it and would love to hear of you all's positive thoughts and things that help you all get through.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Heather Tarantino on
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Hello! I am 34 and have had AU for 32 years. I know firsthand everything you are feeling. I had an awful childhood..full of teasing, insecurity, feelings of being less than..praying every night God would just let my hair grow so I could be "normal". At 14 I moved to a different state and started high school. I had a fresh start! No one knew my past..no one knew of all the different (and awful looking) wigs I had every year..no one knew of all the rumors that were said about me. It was also terrifying. I had friends (finally) and little by little over many years I realized people dont like me for my hair..they like me for the person I am. You have to like and love yourself before anyone else can. There are people who will see beyond the fact you dont have hair and they will see you for the beautiful young woman you are. You WILL be asked out, you WILL go on dates, you WILL fall in love. Put yourself out there..go out and do things..concerts, clubs, join a club of some kind.you will meet new people and will make friends..When you love yourself others will love you too!
Best of luck to you!
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Permalink Reply by Jordan on
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Thank you so much Heather, it helps to know you understand and life had became better. You're right and everyone below. That has been the the repeated phrase lately "love yourself." Again, Thank you.
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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on
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Hello
You are the same age as my daughter (she also has alopecia - since she was 12 years old). I agree with everything that Heather has passed on to you. How you feel about yourself will be key to how others feel about you. Sometimes learning about yourself can be easier said than done, especially when you are dealing with a condition that changes the way you look.
How do you feel about how you look???? I personally think you're lovely (as I do my own daughter) but it isn't about what I think it is about what you think...so do the work to understand what you really feel and if it is holding you back from being all you can be.
If you feel you have some issues that need working on ...do the work.
If you present yourself without hair be sure you have the confidence and information to pass on what your hair loss is about. Talk to the many ladies here that prefer to not wear headcoverings or wigs...they have a wealth of information that I'm sure will be extremely helpful.
If you prefer to present yourself to the world wearing hair or a head covering...same initiative ...pass on what your hair loss is about with confidence, but this may not have to be an immediate response as often people will not notice your hair of choice. Make sure you don't hide from your hairloss by wearing a wig etc. as that can become even more of a burden. You can maybe take a little more time to pass on the information...depends on how you are feeling.
My daughter prefers to wear a wig and has since she was 12....she lives a very full life and I can only think at 23 years old ....you and her truly have the world at your feet. With or without hair. :) Find your passions, travel, learn about you and those around you. Be the best person you can be and enjoy life for all it offers.
Hugs
Rosy
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Thank you so much Rosy. You words are so much help. It's also very inspiring hearing of your daughter. It's very motivating , Thank you both.
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Permalink Reply by Amouna on
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Life is beautiful. ,
All superstar even they have hair they use wigs, use wigs and love your self you'll find love , because men never look about girl cos her hair , :) and you are beauty in your picture . Just by time you'll find right man who look for girl for her personality not her hair ;)
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So true it is, thanks for helping as the ladies of above did, by telling me the best way to enjoy it. Slowly but surely getting to it. Thanks so much Amina, in which I love that name & thanks for the request ;).
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You go girl, this is very inspiring especially since ive experienced the friends no longer friends part first hand as well. It sucks. However thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I'm very happy for you and the direction your going. Thank you for rubbing some of that off to me & can't wait to read your book ;)
Wish you well
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Permalink Reply by molly on
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Hi Brittany, I'm relatively new to the alopecia universalis world, but I have a story to share with you.
One night last summer, I went out salsa dancing. It's something I've always loved to do, but hadn't done at all since the hair loss 2 years ago. I was nervous because I had a new wig, and hadn't worn it out much. I got in and started enjoying the music, then I got asked to dance after a few songs.
The band was playing an over the top Cuban classic with all the horn accents -- which called for plenty of spins. Whew! My partner would spin me once, twice, three times, and then back into the side step. It was HOT in this upstairs club, and I was getting sweaty.... I could feel my wig start to slip. We were going and going and then, after another multiple spin, he dipped me low, and as he whipped me back up, my wig literally went FLYING off my head. It was like it was in slow motion. It was airborne then hit the floor, like in a movie...then it slid across the polished floor... under a chair. I was mortified. It *seemed* like the music stopped and everyone was staring-- but they weren't. My partner (a complete stranger) looked at me, eyes a little wider than before, and I looked at him, and then....
We kept on dancing.
True story. And that was, for ME, one of the most liberating moments so far on this journey. We get caught up in how others see us, and how we are perceived, when really, the people who matter will not see you any differently. :)
Here's a few other positive thoughts for you:
1. In terms of auto-immune disease we have it SO easy-- full mobility and health! In fact, we probably move faster without hair. ;)
2. You do save a ton of money on razors and conditioner.
3. It's fun to change up wigs and styles so often. I never would have been so brave when I had hair.
4. It's also fun to have the option to go bald. I can assure you there are plenty of envious people this time of year in the south, when it's 100° out. We're instantly 10° cooler.
5. It takes hardly any time at all to get ready as opposed to drying and styling hair. I can literally teach a Zumba class, towel off my head, throw on a wig then go to a business meeting. If I needed to-- which I have.
6. Costume parties are a breeze because you can draw your eyebrows anywhere you want.
7. When you do find that special someone who appreciates you and all your immense beauty, they will also appreciate the smoothness of your skin which comes naturally to you. I promise.
What I want to tell you is -- get out there and enjoy life. You are a lovely young lady and I hope you believe that. You can have all those things you want and more. Hope for these things, and believe that they are out there waiting for you. There is nothing holding you back from claiming what is yours, so GO GET IT, girl!
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