Alopecia World
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Becoming Depressed
Hey guys, my name is Jenn, i'm 22 years old, and was told by a doctor that i have alopecia on June 11th 2011, it started out with 3 small bald spots and it has not grown to 4 bald spots, one the size of a baseball, two the sizes of golf balls and the other the size of about a tennis ball, and a fifth one is on its way right now started out the size of a pea and is about the size of a grape now, and continuing to thin, my hair has thinned out alot since june and i just keep losing more and more. I was using a cream on my bald spots that wasnt working, a doctor told me to use rogaine but after researching side effects on a female i have decided i do not want to use it as i do not want to end up growing facial hair. I have a dermatologist appointment booked for september 6th, but at the same time i dont even want to use anymore creams or lotions or anything on my head anymore, if i had to estimate how much hair i have lost i would say its probably about 35-40% already in the past 2 months. I am falling into a deep depression and thats not me, i dont know how to cope with this, i had thick hair that i was so happy about and as a typical girl didnt know what to do with, now i have this ugly patchy hair that really makes me angry. I want to shave it off but im nervous and dont have any wigs or anything to cover it with, and i havent told many people about my alopecia yet so i dont know how anyone would adjust to having a bald Jenn walking around. Basically I just need to know how to cope? What are some suggestions? My boyfriend is doing is best at making me feel beautiful but my attitude around the house and my lack of wanting to do anything lately is bringing him down too and i can see that. I just dont know what to do. The more hair i see on my pillow, floor, drain, sink, brush, its getting to me. I constantly cry and no one understands, the response i get when i talk to people about it is " atleast its not cancer" or " atleast you're not dying" " its just hair, why are you so worried, its not that bad, it'll grow back"
i just wanna hit people in the face when they say that and say "it might not grow back and im going to have to live with this DISEASE for the rest of my life!!!!!" ugh im just in a crappy mood. Not the best introduction, my apologies, you can see my mood, and why i need the support from people that know what im going through. :(
Any suggestions would be very appreciated and helpful.
i just wanna hit people in the face when they say that and say "it might not grow back and im going to have to live with this DISEASE for the rest of my life!!!!!" ugh im just in a crappy mood. Not the best introduction, my apologies, you can see my mood, and why i need the support from people that know what im going through. :(
Any suggestions would be very appreciated and helpful.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jenn on
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Hi Loren,
Has your cream worked for you? I was on betamethasone and it didnt do anything for me, i also use nioxin shampoo, ive decided that i am going to let nature take its course and not use anything on my head from now on because after reading stories and what not it sounds like im going to end up bald anyhow so if its meant to be then fine. plus with no cure whats the point of using creams and stuff as a temporary solution i guess. its only giving me false hope. I wish i had a punching bag that much really help, sometimes i just scream though and cry and freak out. If i an advise you of something dont go on antidepressants they will just mess with you, 9/10 they do more damage than good for a person. Thanks for being here for me, sames goes for you. :)
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I'm glad to hear that something is working for you, hopefully you regain everything that you lost. I still havent come to terms with my alopecia, i am angry it hurts alot, and i wonder why. i just need to get out of this rut i am in and hopefully things will get better thats what i am hoping. next week i plan to shave my head. PLAN being the key word if i go through with it is a different story, i think i should wait until my dermatologist appointment so they can see how much ive actually lost but i dont think i can handle another month of this, or can i? its all about strength at this point i think but i am seriously lacking it. just gotta hold my head up i guess. i need a punching bag. Good luck in your hair growth recovery process, i guess thats what i can call it. :)
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Hey Tan,
I have bought some silk scarves but i dont know how to tie them properly also they just slide off my head im finding that difficult. i get frustrated which doesnt make for a good situation, i found a wig that i do like but they are so expensive and i know nothing about wigs right now and from what i understand theres alot to know about wigs. any advice on a basic wig for a beginner? Thank you for the compliments, and for the response, i appreciate it very much.
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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Go have a fun day trying on inexpensive synthetic wigs at a wig salon. Some are under $150 with the alopecia discount, and some like Raquel Welch have good coverage. Your relatives or faith community could chip in for the price.
Cotton, gauze and light wool scarves won't slip. Go to websites for headcoverings for hair loss. Silk doesn't stay on.
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Thank you i'll browse this. and youtube videos. im going to go to walmart today and see if i can find a nice scarf i have a wedding to go to and my boyfriends mom want to take me to get my hair done...WHAT HAIR? its so embarrassing. she thinks they can do something with it to make it look all nice and i dont want anyone touching it. id rather just hide it.
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Permalink Reply by Dielle on
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Louis Ferre (my personal favorite) and Rene of Paris make really nice wigs. I've worn synthetic, lace front, human hair, and a lot of the major brands out there. Even though the human hair wigs are more expensive they tend to last a lot longer (especially if you are gentle) and in my opinion they are more comfortable to wear because if the hair gets in your eyes it doesn't feel like someone just stuck a pin in there. Also human hair wigs are not as sensitive to heat as synthetic so they don't get as knotted up at the back from the heat of your neck. That's not to say all synthetic wigs are bad so if they are your price range don't worry, they just wear out a little faster. I suggest going into a wig shop and trying some on and then ordering online because it saves you a lot of money. It can also be a good idea to look at the different styles online before going to the store so that you can ask for specific ones or call ahead to see if they have the ones you are interested in. If you do end up getting a human hair wig, get a shampoo and conditioner that are for color treated/damaged hair because it will keep it nicer (that new one by loreal is really nice). I know when I get depressed about everything I let myself cry it out and then I try to get going again. Sometimes its hard to do that, and occasionally I have gone to see a therapist so that I could talk it out and get some coping mechanisms so that could be a good option for you. Like was previously mentioned, a hobby or something you can do to get your mind off of it can also help. As for the silk scarves, I suggest going to a wig store or a salon where they do weaves and stuff like that because they could probably help you learn how to tie them so they don't slide off. Either that or just experiment until you find a method that works for you (I know how frustrating that can be). Shaving it off might be what you need to do so that you don't need to watch it continue to fall out, although I would say don't shave it off until you know what you want to do afterward whether that is nothing, a scarf, a wig, or a hat. I know how sucky it feels right now, but don't worry because it does get better. I can't promise that it will ever go completely away, but eventually these feelings won't be an everyday thing or even an every month thing. I hope you find out what is going to work for you!
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Thanks Dielle that helps alot, i've seen some online that i like alot i just need to find the money, thats the major thing, over the past week ive lot alot more hair on top and its getting more hard to hide so i am looking into wigs more and more, i bought a new hat though that i like its girly unlike the one ive been wearing that has been my boyfriends lol. but i still have been getting compliments on my boyfriends hats ahah. which is nice :) I decided i am going to wait until after my dermatologist appointment to shave it off just so they can see how much ive lost thats going to be hard because i want to do it now but maybe if they see then they will know i dunno, might be better. my mom gave me some bandanas lastnight too she was being cute trying to give me some micky mouse ones with pluto on them but i said i wasnt 10 so yeah but ill check out those wigs and this week i might go to a wig store and try some on if i get a chance to. thank you for the tips and hints. :)
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Permalink Reply by Natalie Martin on
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hi there jenn, i can relate to how your feeling right now. I began to lose my hair when i was about 22yo and by the time i was 23 it was all gone, doctors appointments dermotoligist, hynotherapy, naturopaths, chinese herbs and tablets, creams and steroid injects i tried it all with little to no success. it is so hard i struggled with day to day habits of trying to cover up all my bald spots, even going to great lengths of using double sided tape to tape down hair extentions. i am single and now i have AU its so hard ur so lucky to have somebody like your boy friend to support you and tell you your beautiful when you are having a shit day. my mum is my biggest support i use to cry in her lap asking why me why did i have to be bald, i am 24 now but i still feel like a helpless child. I thought it was the end of the world and i use to hate people telling me "well at least you dont have cancer" i didnt care it still hurt. It does get better there will come a day that you will be able to wake up and smile about the little things in life and not about your hair, its hard to see that now but in your own time you will get there, ive been completely bald a year and i still hide the fact i have alopecia, i still feel embarressed. things will begin to look up...... if ever you want to catch feel free, natalie x
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Hi Natalie, at first I was going to try what ever it took to try and get my hair back, but now i have a different mind frame and im at the point where i dont care, after reading other people stories of how they have tried different creams, injections, foams, shampoos, it's false hope for me, im not going to put myself through that, i'll save the money and effort i guess and let nature take its course, invest in a wig, screw it. plus alopecia has no cure so whats the use if im going to end up bald anyways thats my life path. its just super depressing watching my hair slowly fall out. I was sitting on the train yesterday watching this twitchy drug addict scratching and picking at herself and drinking a bottle of vodka, and the whole time watching her sketch out i was looking at her hair and thinking to myself "why the hell does she get to have a whole head of hair and shes ruining her body like that by doing drugs and drinking" she was also lifting up her shirt exposing herself on the train and just being a pig, it made me disgusted. i mean i drink too but not because thats the only thing i have left in life. i was just angry that who ever picked me to lose my hair instead of some drug addict thats purposly wrecking their body. anyhow i just wanted to get that off my mind.
I hate showering lately(which is bad i know) because i dont like how much hair i lose in the shower and this morning i am dreading having a shower just because i know what is about to happen. im having bad dreams lately and having even worse thoughts and i dont want to see a doctor about my depression because they will just put me on drugs rather than listen to me. i dont want more drugs. i want someone that understands me thats all.
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Jenn: Trimming the hair down short has relieved the shower stress for some people on this site. Are you willing to try that to get rid of one more thing that upsets you?
Also: pick 5 friends a day to talk to privately (Send a Message) on here. Maybe that will help!
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Yes i want to, i was just looking at my bald spots to see if there was any hair growth and i saw some i guess theres downy white hairs coming in. but there aren't many and they are white you cant even see them, so maybe if i just shave my head it will grow back at the same speed. during the process of me looking at the hairs i was getting a little excited until i noticed two more bald spots and alot more thinning, i slammed the mirror down started crying and walked away. i went from having 4 and 1 more starting yesterday, to now having 4 and 3 more starting. YAY. i want to shave it.
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