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Permalink Reply by michelle on July 7, 2014 at 12:36am

Hi Evelyn,   Have asked her?  I wouldn't necessarily assume it has anything to do with her alopecia.  What does she say when you ask what is making her angry?

Good luck!

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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on July 8, 2014 at 4:07pm

Hi

It may be her alopecia or it may be many things that are upsetting her.  I'm with Michelle...do a little more investigating into what is driving the bad behaviour that is being displayed.

You say at 4 she was happy to wear no headcovering.  In my experience around 7years old children start to realise that they are different (and mostly they don't want to be).  This is one of the challenges with parenting a child with alopecia.  You can not assume what was ok at 4 is ok at 7. Keep talking with her and guiding her with your knowledge as an adult...she needs your input and strengt

Rosy

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Permalink Reply by Debs on July 9, 2014 at 1:45am

Evelyn, I am 51 and have only had hair loss for the past 2 and a half years. It is the most difficult thing I have ever faced in my life and it takes all of my life experience to remain level headed and able to live a happy life. Your daughter is at a very vunerable age coping with a disfuguring medical condition - and there is no cure! I advise you speak to her firstly but please do use the skill of a child psychologist to help her verbalise her angst and find ways of managing her thinking processes in future so she can lead a happy life going forwards into her teens and adulthood. I wish you and your daughter good health and happiness. Xxx

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Permalink Reply by David S on July 10, 2014 at 7:20pm

I lost my hair at three.  I do not ever remember ever "acting out" because of it or how others treated me, although I am sure there were things from time to time.  

Kids can be mean.  Plain and simple.  Not all, but a vast majority can say something (whether they mean it to be harsh or not) that can cut to the bone.  The best I can say is to be there for her.  Give her a forum to vent her frustrations and anger (if it's there).  She needs you to be strong when she cannot be, and in time she will be strong when you cannot be.  That may be sooner than you think.  I have two kids with no signs of alopecia (which I am thankful for.)  I cannot imagine your position...but I have been in hers (gender thing aside.)

Let her know, however you have to, that you are there.  That you are mamma bear there to protect her...but also there to let her "fight" her own battles.  Adult interference can make things worse sometimes.  As a parent myself, I remind myself of that all the time and really try to pick and choose what battles I get involved in for my kids.

Best way to find out if she is having problems is to ask her...but make it a safe zone, where there is no talk of talking to teachers, parents, etc.  Just a place for her to talk to you and feel safe to do so.  I kept everything in...it affected me in different ways, but it is not the way for everyone.

One other thing.  As hard as it may be for you, if she really does not want to wear a wig, forcing her to do so is not going to help the situation at all.  Trust me, I know that one.  Handle that one carefully.

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