Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Can someone say it's all gonna be okay?
Well I feel sick and really panic stricken yesterday I finally shaved my head I thought I was okay with it ready even but no I feel trapped in this despair like I made a big mistake although walking around with tuffs sticking up seemed ridiculous. My sister calls me brave her hero but really I'm a fake and fraud I just want my hair back I can't even look in the mirror at myself to brush my teeth please please some words of wisdom something.....
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
-
Wear something on your head until (a) you get used to it, or (b) it grows back. Simple.
Or cover the mirror and listen to cool music that makes you dance while brushing your teeth.
-
Permalink Reply by Dana on
-
Simple??? Not so sure but great advice I like a for now....although dancing sounds fun! Thank you
-
Permalink Reply by Thomasleejones on
-
Damn.........Same boat as me foreal. I don't got any words of wisdom, but I let you know that you not alone. Back of my head look like pacman got hungry and went to town on me. You making me have second thoughts on shavin my head. So sorry.....On another note though i been having this condition on and off since i was real young and i'm 21 now, but everytime it happened to me my hair eventually grew back. But then again it end up fallin out again later. Hope your hair grows back. I hope everybody with this condition hair grows back cause i know how it feels. Only thing helpin me cope is when im out and about and i see someone else with it i get reminded im not alone. So yeah, i guess just don't forget that.
-
-
Your comments made me smile for the first time today...thanks for that I feel less alone and scared...I'm sorry for you too thanks for having my back and propping me up!
-
Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on
-
Hi
My heart goes out to you and I hope what I have to say will help. In NZ with my job I often help people with this decision. It is never ever an easy one no matter how little hair you have. I have helped people that feel distraught no matter how much or how little hair they are taking off. It's your hair and for the whole time you have been dealing with alopecia you have been struggling to hold on to every hair you have (not in your control though - but very very understandable). Now, you have made a decision that is like doing a 360 turn (thinking wise), so give yourself time. You have actually taken the power back to some degree, not that it feels like that for you at the moment :(... but I think in time it will. (It did with my daughter but it took time to adjust).
I know you want your hair back and I so wish I could push a little button and make that happen to you and all those that are dealing with this, but at this time that isn't the case.
I think what you are currently dealing with is the reality of your disease/condition and the lack of control you have around it. To shave your head was brave, but that doesn't equate to instant happiness. I think it may be helpful for you to work out how you want to present yourself to the world as this can be an empowering decision as well. There are altenatives that may ease the way for you until you make a decision you fully feel comfortable with. Many ladies here present themselves without their hair (which is lovely, but not for everyone), some wear beautiful scarves or hats, some wear hairpieces/wigs. I get that at the moment you may not want to investigate any of these choices, but depending on your hair for happiness is not going to move you past your feelings of helplessness around your alopecia and it's resulting hairloss. Finding alternatives that make you feel empowered, strong and wonderful again is what may help. I know it did for me and my daughter.
It is going to be alright and what you are feeling now is very normal (you are grieving). Just do your best not to get stuck, get proactive with the things you love in life and go out and get those things organised for yourself. You can do this and will do this well.
Hugs
Rosy
-
-
Wow...thanks sooooo much Rosy such kind words and thoughtfull advice. You are so right I never expected these feelings I thought I would be so much more brave after all I have dealt with worse things in my life I was and am not clearly prepared. However, sharing my story and struggles here helps so much I also have an appointment with a therepist who has helped me before I called her today cause I realize I need some help with this. In meantime I will take tallgirls advice and cover up for now.
For my families sake I cannot get stuck I will pick myself up and carry on! After all I am a mother with a healthy son who needs me. I was just not prepared for my own reaction I will have to to figure it out though it's only been 24 hours so hopefully I will feel better soon. Again thanks sooo much and hugs to you!
-
Permalink Reply by Bk on
-
Rosy, your response is so lovely. Exactly my thoughts and frankly, my experience.
The only thing I would add, comes from a gal on a wig forum years ago.
What she said has always stuck me: "You dye your hair, you get perms, you straighten it, whiten your teeth, straighten your teeth, get fake nails, get fake tans, get fake boobs/new nose...plastic surgery...the list goes on and on. And yet wearing a wig is somehow making you feel more fake than all the other things that people do to enhance their appearance/self image?"
That gave me a lot of comfort for some reason...made me feel like wearing a wig was more normal. I don't wear a wig anymore, but in no way was I ready at that first head shaving to be flying the bald girl flag.
Make yourself feel comfortable and then everyone else will be too.
My favorite quote right now: Everything will be alright in the end. And if its not alright, then its not the end.
Wishing you all the gumption in the world.
Bk
-
-
Thank you too true words I have dyed my hair done nails etc... Never thought of it like that!!!
I like the word gumption and oh yes I could use some! I need to do some more reading on this site I have allot to learn....thanks again good nite
-
Permalink Reply by Lisa-Lynn Marini on
-
Hello Dana,
I know exactly how you feel i've had my head shaved for a year now, I've lost about 90% of my hair last year and decided I was either gonna have hair or not, so I decided to shave the rest of the hair that I had. When it was done I was in shock for a while couldn't beleive that," Oh my God look at me , I felt ugly for a while and within a months time I came to grips with having my head shaved and now I love it!!! YOU WILL be okay beleive me!!!! It will take some time , but in time you will feel wonderful, i'm sure you look very beautiful , keep your chin up we are all here for you :))
(HUGGGSSSS)
-
-
Again thank you so much for the kind words and show of support I am so glad I joined here everyone is so supportive. I was not prepared for the shock I'm feeling but I am really glad I posted my feelings and so many people came to the rescue with such sincere kindness. I hope I will be just like you I have followed some of your postings on here and you are a real role model....thanks sooo much hugs to you too!
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
