Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Can't cope
can anyone give me some advice as i am finding it extremly difficult coping with this, some days i think that i just can't go on. looking for some help and ideas on getting through life with this illness or disease not sure what to call it really.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Dominique Cleopatra on
-
First of all it could be a lot worse and there are a lot of alternatives to being bald such as hair integration systems and hair bonding. I've recently gotten that done and now I have long lustrous blonde locks attached to me all the time.
I know everyone will tell you that it's what's inside that counts, but here's some practical advice about improving your appearance and your morale.
What exactly are you finding so hard to cope with, if we knew more about your situation then we could all share more specific advice.
I still have some work to finish now and wish I had more time to impart some words of wisdom for you in your time of need.
-
Permalink Reply by Mary on
-
Hi Donna,
I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time. I've been there, as have so many people on Alopecia World....you're not alone, even though you may feel alone with this disease. (I call it a "disease" because we call other auto-immune problems "disease": MS, fibromyalgia, Chron's Disease, Lupus....)
You might find some of my blogs helpful, particularly these two which are about how a couple of famous people are dealing with life-impacting diseases:
http://www.alopeciaworld.net/profiles/blogs/inspirational-words-from
http://www.alopeciaworld.net/profiles/blogs/roger-ebert-is-an-inspi...
It's taken me a couple of years, but I'm at a place of acceptance and have gotten on with my life. In some strange way, I feel proud of my unique look now. Yes, I still miss my hair, and get angry or upset about being bald at times. But, mostly those days are over. For awhile it was really a day-by-day struggle, with baby steps forward. Hang in there and keep in touch.
Mary
-
Permalink Reply by Natalie on
-
Hi Donna,
I also felt like I couldn't go on with alopecia when I lost all my hair. I went to a therapist and was put on anxiety/depression medication, and it really helped. You may find that talking to your doctor about one or both of those options may really help you. Keep smiling, and don't be afraid to ask for help :)
Natalie
-
Permalink Reply by Blessed Soul on
-
Hi Donna,
I used to think the same way u did until one day a thought struck my mind...I went on a long drive to observe people around me to c who r much happier than me...On the way I saw people sleeping on the dirty streets...I thanked God that I have a BIG house with a SOFT bed! Then I saw people wearing dirty clothes , almost in drag...I thanked God that I have PRETTY & EXPENSIVE clothes to wear. Then I saw people begging for money & food, sometimes eating the waste food thrown in the garbage...I thanked God that I have HEALTHY food to eat & GOOD JOB. Then I saw people with no arms or legs, some were blind, some were mentally retarded...I thanked God for giving me SOUND MIND, HANDS, LEGS & EYES. But, one thing was common among all those people that they HAD HAIR, but still were UNHAPPY!
This made me realize that how FORTUNATE I am that God only took my hair & given me all those other things!
Remember, when God closes 1 door, he opens many more doors for u. The only thing is we have to find our way.
So, feel gud about urself! Always!
I hope that helps u to feel better.
Love,
Priya
-
-
YEs its true, outer beauty is not the only thing in life, attitude n nature is more imp. just thank God that atleast u dont have any serious disease...
-
Permalink Reply by Carmen Dayhoff on
-
Donna, I'm glad that you posted on here. That's what our world (AW) is all about, celebrating the good times and holding each others' hands in the hard times. If you check out some of the other blogs / discussions on AW you will find that there are many, many Alopecians who struggle emotionally with this condition. I've heard people say that when you lose your hair is truely like other losses where you must grieve. Take time to grieve. Notice where u might be in your stages of grief. Give yourself grace. Don't expect yourself to be fine with it tomorrow, but allow your feelings to come to surface--cry when you need to, hit a pillow when you are angry, journal, etc...--and know that you are NOT NOT NOT alone.
NOT ALONE.
Bigg hugs!
Carmen
-
Permalink Reply by Nadine E on
-
Hi Donna...I think many of us here know what you're going through. I like to refer to my alopecia as a 'condition', although when I'm feeling dramatic, I call it a disease. For me, it's something I've had to learn to live with. Currently, I have about 10% of the hair on my head left, and almost all of my body hair is gone. My alopecia tends to come up about every two years, but this time it's an extreme case (following the birth of my son).
It's so difficult, particularly for women, because so much of our beauty (and self worth) is tied to our hair. I find it especially difficult to look in the mirror these days. But, I remind myself of a few things:
1. I'm not sick.
2. This is a rare condition, and in a way, that makes me unique and special.
3. It's great opportunity to try different looks - eg, synthetic wigs, human hair wigs, scarves, and hats. In fact, I'm planning on investing in a blond synthetic that I'll use specifically for girls night out...finally, I can be a blond!
4. It makes me a stronger person.
5. Most importantly - beauty is so much more than a head of hair.
I found comfort in this particular site, and I also 'came out' to all my loved ones recently (I had been hiding it for quite some time). That gave me incredible confidence to face this condition. I also have invested in a lot of items to help cover up my hair, as I, unlike some of the members you'll find here, prefer to keep my head covered. There are some great alopecia/hair loss product sites out there, and some really great deals on wigs & hair coverings. I also have a wig shop nearby where I have invested in one very expensive human hair wig.
I'm not sure if this helps, but hopefully it does. I think the main thing to remember is that while it's tough, you've found a place where so many know what you're going through. You're not alone.
-
-
Try to remember that although it seems that society only values women for their appearance, there is more to your life than how many keratinzed strands of protein are growing from your scalp, and whether or not it is silky smooth, flowing in the wind like a horse's mane and free from grey. You have a mind and a good pair of arms for hugging loved ones and that really matters so much more.
I have been dealing with this form of hair loss on and off for over 30 years and recently it became so extensive that I had to start buying wigs again. It is a hard transition, particularly because people do notice and make you feel so self-conscious. I dreaded having to go out in public and enduring the real or imagined gauntlet of curious stares. But, in their defense, people have been trained by our society to be appearance oriented and they can't help themselves when they are being shallow. We are forcibly reminded of this emphasis on appearance every day, but we don't have to be slaves of this. We can appreciate beauty in a person's appearance, and then remind ourselves that beauty is fleeting and in the eye of the beholder and then assign it the appropriate importance in our lives. Would you love that child in your arms any less if she lost her hair? Your loved ones feel that way about you. To hell with the others.
-
Permalink Reply by Diana Caruso on
-
Sweetheart..........you have to get in your head that YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS....I believe those of us who have alopecia......have a hard time coping MAINLY BECAUSE WE ARE SO WORRIED OF WHAT OTHERS ARE GOING TO THINK< SAY OR KNOW or just STARE........all kinds of stuff..........and that we are worthless, or ugly or nasty or whatever you'd like to call it........but you know........those are all LIES...I sometimes compare it to Adam and Eve and the serpent, the serpent in actuality was TWISTING what Eve had originally been told, YES, this is an unpredictable disease, but we go through so many changes that if GOD brings us to it....HE will get us through it.....it has to be a choice of ACCEPTING this...or NOT...your life will change....but it doesn't have to change to the NEGATIVE.....I've lived with this since I was 4....but I had intervals of hair, then it fell out, then it grew back..all kinds of stuff.........YOU WILL COPE WITH IT..because you know that you are going to use it to better not only your life but the lives of others.......if u have family, as I do, I often think, how could I be selfish and not be able to deal with this...what type of example am I...you know and I know there are so many more terrible things in life, but I totally understand how you feel...........and it could really suck sometimes, but evening will pass, and there is always a new day that comes upon us..............I'm here honey, so never feel that you can't cope...hugs...
-
Permalink Reply by Linda on
-
Contact me . Can't help with condition but can point you in right direction.
Linda
-
Permalink Reply by Maria M Licier on
-
We all have days like that, boy I know I do. It is normal to feel hopeless, but you can deal with this, there is light at the end of the tunnel, read some postive thinking books. Everyone in this world has road blocks in their lifetime, this is just a bump in the road..it will pass.
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
