Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Coming out to friends and others
I realize Alopecia is not a life or death disease. I hate when I have the courage to tell someone and they say "there is a lot worse that can happen ". I feel like someone has died and am on the verge of tears about this. I feel ugly and have become a shut-in. I get it is not cancer! People do not know how much courage it takes to admit it to people.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Jennifer Weaver on
-
I had such a hard time dating. (BTW, I wear a wig.) I had gone on a few dates with this one guy and I finally decided to tell him that I wear a wig and have alopecia. He seemed okay with it when I did tell him so I chose to show him what I look like without it. He just stared, then said "Wow... That's different..." And after that I never heard from him again.
Fine with me cause right after that I met the man who is now my husband. He could care less if I wore my wig in public or not! And there have been times when I haven't. Although it bugs me when he takes pictures of me without it on only cause I don't like how I look. He begs to differ.
People can be really rude. It is really hard too. Sometimes in the past I wish I could have said it was because of cancer. Most people don't even know what alopecia is. After I told one girl that my hair loss was from alopecia, she said "Well don't touch cause I don't want to get it!" That took A LOT of self restraint!
-
-
I have been married 11yrs and worried my husband would be turned off of me, afterall my long thick hair was always a favorite feature he enjoyed. As my small bald spot turned into 8 large ones (some turning into 1 huge one) I keep asking him if it bothers hi.. he always says "I fell in love with you... not your hair" or "your beautiful". He is the only person tgat sees me without cover up. That first guy that did not like your bald head showed his true colors... thank god! A man like that it not marriage material anyways. I am glad you found a good guy...
-
-
I truly understand your pain i feel the same. I think people without alopecia will never understand how we feel truly.
-
Permalink Reply by Lynda Hykin on
-
Kortlin,
So VERY well put, especially the psychological comment! We feel bad because we have hair loss, then feel guilty for feeling bad because there are others with so much more to deal with. More and more, I feel I add to my 'guilt' by hiding behind a wig...there is the added pressure of "What if someone finds out". I now talk about it as openly and as much as I can, given the conversation. This relieves me of any awkwardness when creating new contacts, or establishing possible friendships. After all, how many people can use that as an ice-breaker???
I still wear a wig for business purposes, but have now told almost all my associates about what 'doesn't' exist underneath. Everyone has been cool with it, some curious, some sympathetic, some just don't get it.
I truly believe you have to reach a point where you 'love your reflection' with or without hair.
I was never referred to as 'beautiful' in my entire life (I'm 59). Now, people say that all the time when they see me without my hair. YOU have to believe you're beautiful - whether you have hair or not.
-
-
Kortlin, Thank you for your beautifully written post - everything you have said is so true!
-
Permalink Reply by Olga aka Gypsy on
-
You are who you are and even though to most woman hair is like a crown the true princess is within you heart, People are mostly scared of the unknown and that is why they tend to take the most known path ...ARE YOU SICK and HAY IT COULD BE WORSE.....But to us that go through it, it is bad enough. I think in a way I was lucky my hair started falling out when I was 6 but I only set it free(shaved the last bit off) 5 years ago when my head started looking like a marsh land with less hair (islands) than water (skin) so I kind of knew it would happen...... I am not so stressed about not having hair and I prefer not to ware wigs either. I am me and with or without locks I 'll still be me. The real courage lies in looking yourself in the mirror and loving the one looking back, from there its easier to let the world know that you are a hairless wonder.
-
Permalink Reply by Mary on
-
Olga...You hit the nail on the head when you wrote that the real courage lies in looking at yourself in the mirror and loving the one looking back. I hear those words in my head, but they break my heart...and I don't have the courage to love myself right now. I am actually crying as I type this. I am scared I will never find the courage but I know your words are true and wise.
-
-
Courage has already been found in you reaching out... we tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on others, and this is also a form of bullying. We bully ourselves into thinking that we are not good enough anymore, that we are not as beautiful as when we had hair, that we will be a laughing stock and people will stare.
Most likely people will stare, but instead of them looking at the curls on your head they might for the first time see your beautiful eyes..... we hide behind our outward appearance but when that security mask is ripped from us we have no other choice but to look the world in the eye. It is then when the true you has the chance to shine.
And though it is hard for you to see how beautiful you are with or without hair, know that courage is always found in ones darkest hour, a hero is not needed until something bad happens. Be your own hero, look that beauty in the eye and say " You are the only you you can be so hair thank you for the time we had and will have but for now, thank you for setting me free to be just me!!!"
Thinking and praying for you
Regards
- ‹ Previous
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- Next ›
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
