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Dating: Do you keep wig on or off?!
I recently started dating again since I began wearing a wig in Feb. I'm a little nervous about things becoming physical. I told the guy I was seeing that I wear a wig and he seems to be fine with it. I'm not at the point though of feeling comfortable enough to take it off...it would be easier to take the clothes off....lol. I have been physical with someone before with my wig on but find it very uncomfortable...it gets hot, I'm always worried it will fall off as it does move on my head, so it makes it hard for me to relax and really enjoy myself. Any suggestions on how to make sure the wig stays secure?!?! Do you ladies keep it on or off?! How did the men react to seeing you without the wig? I'm not completely bald, I still have hair but it's very very thin and you can see my scalp and I have bald patches. And even thought the men I have told seem to be ok with me wearing a wig, I don't think they really understand how different I look without it and I'm scared that once they see, they'll jump out the window...lol. HELP!!!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by lisa on
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Keep the wig ON!!! If you get a lace front wig you should be fine. The lacefront wigs can be glued to your hairline. It will not come off. Find a wig that isn't too heavy and is airy so you don't feel hot. Or perhaps you can wear a weave. You said that you still have some hair. With a weave, you can cover the bald patches with a net. What I mean is, the hairstylist will attach a mesh to the part of head that is balding. Then they will secure the weave to the mesh.
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Permalink Reply by spyflys on
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You should't be so forceful in telling her she should keep it on. More like "If you'd like to keep it on, I'd suggest...."
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Permalink Reply by Al on
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I have been dating my boyfriend a year and a half and he has never seen me scalp( well when my hair wrap fell off). i'm not comfortable with myself, I wear a sleep cap around the house. Wigs are itchy and hot and I could never imagine someone telling you to glue it on so it wont fall off. I might not be going about not showing him the real me, but he doesn't seem to mind what I look like either way.
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I told my SO the 3rd day after we started dating. I knew he was the one for me, and took a chance.
Thank goodness, he was not like many young/older, immature,males running around looking for a "trophy girl/wife" or "status symbol".. (been there done that several times)..Those are the ones i dated while wearing extensions. They didn't know, nor did they WANT to know. All they were worried about was how i looked to their friends and others whom they were "showing me off" to. I played that game, because i was pretty much after one thing, well, maybe a couple of things..
(shallow guys always find/look for shallow girls, ironically, neither of them truly believe that THEY are the ones that are shallow)..
Fast forward several decades later, and a lot more mature, I met my SO. I told him about my hair thinning and that i wore extensions/weaves. I was upfront about my wig/weave wearing. This was before we became intimate. One thing MOST people like is when someone is upfront about themselves. A lot of folks don't like "surprises". I certainly don't.
My SO learned over time, how to wash/condition, massage, trim the neckline, braid my hair, etc., He's been there when the rest of my hair fell out, grew in, and fell out, (lather, rinse and keep repeating - for 8 years)..d
Sometimes, we're intimate with the wig on.. but whenever that happens? Hell the wig winds up turned backwards, off my head, on his head, on the floor, the bedpost, pretty much any where a wig shouldn't be..
thus, personally? I don't like "secrets", etc. if you take a chance and are upfront, they can react or respond. If they say they aren't interested? hell, go out and find someone who is. There are 17 billion+ people on this planet. Someone has to be your equal.
And i'm hoping this guy will be the one for you.
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Very good post...
7 billion
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Permalink Reply by Laura on
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I take mine off usually... I always feel a littleeee uncomfortable, but I also usually put some sort of head band or beanie on. It sort of helps hide at least the front of my scalp. I find that wearing a wig (unless you're on top haha) is just AWFUL - mine moves all over the place. Like you, I can't remotely relax or enjoy myself. But then again, I've been with the same guy through the balding and all. I had one guy stop speaking to me because he found out I was wearing a wig (while me and the first guy were in our on/off phase)... that really sucked.
Honestly though, if he knows you're wearing a wig, take it off. You will be MUCH more comfortable and I promise he won't be paying attention to that. :)
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Permalink Reply by Late K8 on
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I feel that if you are worried about how he will react you are probably not just looking for one nighters but long term commitments. And if that is true then you have to tell him, you have to be honest and open, you have to be vulnerable. Give him the chance to be a man and see what he is worth right off the bat. Then you will know if the relationship is meant to continue on or is not worth it. Sit them down, explain the condition, tell him what to expect from you as far as what you are comfortable sharing with him. If he reacts positively, then you have a keeper. If he pulls away - kick him to the curb!!! He is not worth investing anymore time and energy in! I had one experience where I had a few dates and then went to bed without taking off my wig. It was awful and realized that if I wasn't comfortable to be myself around him he wasn't the guy for me! When I met my SO I told him after a couple dates. He ripped my wig right off my head and told me hair or no hair he thought I was beautiful, smart, interesting and having hair or not didn't change any of that. We have know been together 12 years, married 9 and have two kids :). Remember that confidence is the sexiest thing we possess and you find the best way for you to be confident!!!
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