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Dating with alopecia...19 years old
my name is stephani, and i am 19 years old. i have had alopecia pretty much my entire life. I think i am pretty comfortable and open about it by now. I have alot of freinds, im very social, and very outgoing. at least thats what everyone around me says. thats and that im very confident. and hearing that people think im confident makes me very happy because i try not to let my alopecia affect me more then it has to. however, my family has started to make hints that maybe its about time i start to date, or start looking at guys in the way of who could be a possible be a a future husband. ive always had more guy freinds then girls just who iam. guys have shown intrest in me but i just blew it off. mainly because i am in high school and i didnt want to date in high school. i am glad my family wants me to start dating, but i dont think they realize that im terrified of it, i mean i have told them im scared to date. im afraid alopecia is going to get in the way. im not sure how to go about dating with alopecia. i hope i am making sense. if anyone could offer any advice or insight that owuld be great thank you very much
xoxox
Stephani<3
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Andrea on
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Stephanie. Ive only been dating with alopecia for a short time, but I tell everyone I date about it up front. That way, I dont have to wonder if they can tell Im wearing a wig, I can just relax and have fun. Be yourself, be confident, and have fun. There's no rush to find someone right away. But every date you go on will make you more confident and (hopefully) eventually your alopecia will be a nonissue. It hasnt totally happened for me yet, but I'm well on the way to being totally comfortable dating. Good luck to you!
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Permalink Reply by Joel on
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Hi Stephani,
your biggest problem will be that a lot of guys your own age don't have enough life experience to understand that you are an awesome person wether you have 4 legs or 2 ears or hair etc.... but if you continue to be the positive confident girl you are.....then you will meet that guy! just be patient and have fun until then!!
Joel
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Permalink Reply by Danielle Glunt on
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Hey Stephanie,
I just tell them right up front! That way if they are scared of it then they don't waste my time :)!! The way I see it, if they care if I am bald then they are losers and I don't want any part of that! Honestly most people are impressed with how confident I am with it. It sounds like you are alot like me, being an outgoing person portrays confidence and I am sure any guy would be lucky to have you! Like I said before... if he cares about hair then he is not worth it :)
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Permalink Reply by Gale Moorman on
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Hi Stephani, once you start dating and the person seems sincere and a real good friend and that your relationship continues to get close, if they have been asking why you wear a wig or is your hair a wig I think you should really tell them the truth then. Telling someone about your alopecia when you've first started dating them within the first few weeks may be too early. They may freak out or may not but when you feel comfortable with them and them with you I think the chances are that they will be more understanding of your condition because they feel comfortable with you. Keep being positive and everything should be of a positive result.
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Permalink Reply by Sarah McA on
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Hey Stephanie,
I recently just wrote a blog about dating....when my alopecia first started in Aug, the only thing I was worried about was never finding a guy who would accept it. I was more worried about that than I was about losing my hair..I have been on quite a few dates since then and was upfront with all of the guys, apart from one. The thing that surprised me the most was that, when I told the guys, they still liked me and wanted to see me again and alopecia didnt seem to be a problem to them. What I was more surprised about was the fact I didn't feel a connection with any of them. I honestly thought when a guy accepted my alopecia, that would be the guy I would stay with because I wouldnt have any other choice. Turns out, I can still be fussy even with this condition, and you can be too. Everyone is different and reacts to things in different ways..telling someone about your alopecia is a very personal choice and only you can judge when to tell your date. Just remember, you are still the same person with or without hair. Never settle for second best. I hope you find a guy who will treat you in the way you deserve.
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Permalink Reply by Heather on
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Hi Stephani
Don't worry, many of us have been there. My approach may be a little different, but you do what feels right for you.
When i met my boyfriend, I did not tell him right away. We dated, got to know each other and when I felt comfortable to tell him, I did. I wanted to make sure before I told him that he was worthy of me telling him. Does that make sense?
I have had this appraoch with other guys before him, some I told, some I did not connect with and I am glad I didnt tell them.
True men won't care if you have hair or not. You are beautiful inside and out :)
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