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Do I tell them?
For those that may not know me, I have ophiasis pattern aa and I'm still sporting my natural hair. The problem is its now winter, the hair is getting thin, I'm cold, and I'm getting tired of constantly thinking about how it looks. I cant tuck it behind my ears anymore because there's a line of loss above my left ear that runs to my face.
I'm about ready to shave it and make the move to wigs and coverings.
What I can't decide on though is if I should tell people at work? The last time I shaved it I didn't tell people why and I had some reactions that I wish not to have repeat (different company, I only wore coverings). And if I do tell people, who do I tell? My boss? HR? The people I work directly with? I just cant decide.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on
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Hi
I'm really sorry the responses you received last time you shaved your head were not supportive and caring...always a disappointing outcome when people get it very wrong.
I would be very open about your alopecia to those that matter (your boss and the HR person). Make it clear what you are doing and why you are doing it...quite the opportunity to educate people on alopecia and what it means to you and how you want to handle things.
You aren't going to be able to control all reactions, but as long as you are prepared in yourself and feeling confident and happy this will go well. Put your thoughts together around what you want to say to people and then move forward.
My daughter (22 years old), begun her teaching career this year in a school with over 2,000 teenage boys. She first told the staff ....actually surprising them by wearing a different wig. Then she told each class as they came in (and of course asked about her hair). It gave her the opportunity to educate and handle all the enquries quickly and positively. This worked well for her.
Good luck with everything I'm sure this will go well.
Rosy
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Permalink Reply by Lexi on
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Don't you hate feeling like you owe someone an explanation? Like if I decided I wanted to look and feel better and wear a wig to work, however would I do that? Do I have to explain it to everyone? That includes co-workers, neighbors, and the like. I should be able to do whatever I please, and not answer to anyone. But I feel obligated to say something.....Like yourself, ophiasis and overall thinning, still wearing my bio hair - straggly as it is. Never at this point to I see myself shaving it. I want to hang on to whatever the good Lord allows me to keep on my head. But I also can wear my hair only one way, and I am sure people wonder why I never do anything different with it. Well, maybe if I could, I would. But not possible. This is it. And glad to at least have this option. I would love to wear wigs, when I choose, and my own hair if and when I choose. Nothing set in stone. I should not have to TELL anyone anything. Why do we feel this way?
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Hi
Lexi...You so don't have to tell a soul about this if that is what makes you feel comfortable. It isn't really about other people...it's more about what you want isn't it?
You know I meet hundreds of people dealing with this condition and there is no right or wrong way. What I notice is there is the way that suits the person. I also observe what sometimes causes upset and stress with regards to this type of decision. In my experience you don't owe anyone anything, you owe yourself the self awareness of your own needs and that is really an end to it.
Hair coming and going is not within your control, just the way you react or deal with it is. I hate for people to stop their lives in any way because of this condition, so I would encourage everyone to find there comfort levels and do what suits them.
Rosy
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Permalink Reply by Sunflower25 on
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lol, that's awesome. :)
there's a girl in my group that wears different wigs all the time, no one says anything to her. that may be though because she does come in with her natural hair every once in a while. there's nothing wrong with her - she just likes wigs. haha
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Aimee, I think maybe they did not know you well enough to say anything. ? And they didn't know why you were wearing wigs. But very brave !! Maybe you also felt they didn't know you, nor you them and felt more at ease doing so. If I ever wore a wig to work, I don't know what the reaction would be. I would be to scared to find out! But the day is coming ....I know it.
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