"Do you have cancer?"

Hey guys,

I have diffuse alopecia areata and recently got a short buzz cut, so if it turns into AU will be less drastic of a change. I know it's not the same as AU right now, but my hair is thin enough that my head looks pretty bald. Whenever I go places without a hat now, people either avoid looking at me, or stare when they think I can't see them. I am trying to become confident enough in myself that I don't care if people ask me questions about my hair or if I have cancer, but my hair loss is still a pretty personal subject right now and so I just feel really uncomfortable anytime anyone brings it up. I feel like people are only nice to me when I go out without a hat because they think I have cancer. I want to be comfortable enough with it that I can use it as an opportunity to help spread awareness of alopecia, but at the same time when no one brings it up I feel like its none of their business anyway and if they want to think I have cancer why is it my job to tell them otherwise. How did you guys become comfortable with going out without a head covering?

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Permalink Reply by lorne cathro on June 2, 2018 at 10:25pm

Hi,

I completely understand how you feel! 

I have AU and at the moment I only have a very small tuft at the back of my head left. I lost about 3/4 of my hair about a year ago and around nov 2017 I decided to go for it and shave my head. I wore wigs anytime I went outside, even to work in a very warm restaurant. 

Mt is cost me a fortune for synthetic wigs, but needs must. 

I took the plunge one day and braved being bald at work. My co workers, friends and family were extremely supportive and was even published in my works newsletter for being brave. 

Yes i I do still get those looks and occasional questions which are still difficult to handle, but you do get the occasional lovely person who commends me for being me. 

I actually had a customer tonight (that had had quite a bit to drink) who said “I don’t want to be rude, but do you have alopecia?”. I answered “yes” and she replied “My mother had it for half her life. She would be thrilled to see you being proud of who you are, and being confident enough to to show it to everyone!”.

This plastered a smile on my face all night and I’ll remember those words anytime I need a little boost in confidence.

i would say go for it, it’s so much more comfortable and always remember there are a lot more lovely people out there than arseholes! 

X

Permalink Reply by Moonbeam on June 7, 2018 at 1:21pm

Yeah, it's so crazy right? I remember wearing a scarf to a spa and everyone gave me pitying looks, but they didn't ask or say anything - I could tell they thought I had cancer, and bad. Lots and lots of staring if I go without hair, anywhere, and usually like you said, when they don't think you'll notice. I've stopped doing going out without hair b/c I'm just not strong enough. I've always had low self esteem. And I teach - so I have all these eyes on me in the classroom. I'm not brave enough. But I hope I will be, one day. :/ I know someone else with alopecia who goes without head coverings, AND teaches. I'd like to work up to being like her. 

Permalink Reply by Karian Smith on July 17, 2018 at 10:57am

Hello! My friend from https://typemyessays.com/ had the same problem. You can PM me and I'll give you her contacts. 

Permalink Reply by Kelly0989 on September 13, 2018 at 5:13am

I don't have alopecia and I can't imagine how do you feel.
I know for sure it must be hard.
Just to encourage you a bit I suggest you to read these articles: Diabetes and My Society and You can get it if you really want

Permalink Reply by Kelly0989 on September 13, 2018 at 5:27am

I don't have alopecia and I can't imagine how do you feel. I know for sure it must be hard. Just to encourage you a bit I suggest you to read these articles: Diabetes and My Society and You can get it if you really want

Permalink Reply by EmmaTomson on October 16, 2018 at 6:55am

Thank you for your post. It's difficult to talk about this. I know one man from original-writing.com. When he became bald he just bought a nice hat. I know one good phrase “If you can't change circumstances just change attitude to them". I wish you to be healthy.

Permalink Reply by Bice on October 16, 2018 at 4:53pm
Permalink Reply by Maria on February 28, 2019 at 3:12am

I do not have alopecia. But I can imagine how you feel. You should never feel terrible about the appearance of people.

Permalink Reply by Maris on March 8, 2019 at 8:15am

I'm quite concerned with the cancer issues. I have a lot of birthmarks and planning to move to quite a sunny country. The only thing I found to reduce the risk is this thing bec5 curaderm

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