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Extremely self-conscious about my wig
Hi all, so glad to have found this forum. :)
This is my first post, so I want to give a little background info on myself. My name is Laura, I'm 23 years old and have been dealing with supposed androgenetic alopecia since I was 11 years old (when I hit puberty). My hair has continued to thin since then and for the past 4-5 months I've been wearing a wig. Buying a wig was a really, REALLY difficult decision for me. I was practically bald when I bought my wig - it had gotten to the point where the only way to conceal my scalp was with nearly half a bottle of Toppik. When I put my hair in a pony tail was/is probably half the size of my pinky finger. It was extremely embarrassing, but I found the concept of suddenly wearing a wig to be just as embarrassing.
I cried multiple times during wig consultations before I finally stopping moping around and bought my first. It's a nice Estetica human hair wig, but I've been having some major issues... most likely because I'm still sort of in denial and know nothing about wigs. I hate the fact that everyone I know clearly is aware that I wear a wig. I really want a new wig but am worried about the sudden change in wigs... I really don't want a single person to comment on it.
I am in a relationship and he was with me when I was practically bald, and he's with me now that I wear a wig. It makes me uncomfortable that he never comments on it so I don't really feel comfortable taking it off in front of him... not sure why. I'm still so new to this whole wig thing. I just wish I knew ONE other person that wore a wig...
ANYWAYS, I bought my wig at an awful, overpriced wig shop. The lady put 3 clips in, clipped them in to my nearly nonexistent hair, and sent me on my way. If I place my hand on my scalp it slips every which way. My hair seems too thin for the clips to really grab it. This is okay if I'm not moving... but seriously... I'm constantly worried about it falling off. That would be an absolute nightmare for me. I also hate the thought of never swimming again. I can't wear my hair up at the gym because when I put it up, it pulls and makes the wig slip back off my scalp. It's MISERABLE. Oh, and lets not even talk about how it holds up in the bedroom...
I just want to be normal. I just want to go to an amusement park and not worry about my wig flying off. I want to go swimming without looking bald or covered in some sort of hair net. I want to go to the gym and be able to put my hair up. I feel like I'm CONSTANTLY readjusting/pulling up my wig.
Can anyone offer me some advice on helping my wig stay put? I don't use wig caps because when I've used them in the past, they slip off just as easily if not moreso than just a wig. If my wig would stay put, I feel like my confidence would skyrocket.
Thanks so much for reading!! :)
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by The Machiavella on
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I just wish I knew ONE other person that wore a wig...
Now you have a whole community of wearers - your pain and obvious frustration moves me as I am sure it does so many others, x
We've all been there ~ I am sure the seasoned members here can offer you some excellent guidance and much needed support... Their compassion and the unified shared experience has been such a beautiful display of humanity and generosity has been such a beautiful act to witness.
There is a solution that will be just right for you "out there" - and I am certain that those who are in a position to advise and assist will go to the endth degree to do so.
In the meanwhile? Take comfort that as of now? you do not walk this path alone, x
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Permalink Reply by Diane on
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I have had good results from the velcro adjusters inside the wig and using the wig grippers.
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Permalink Reply by Sweet K on
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Hello Laura... my navy hair is Karen... and I was diagnosed with universalis alopecia over 35 yrs ago.. but.... God has delivered me from UA... i do meditation which brings my body n complete alignment back to its original healthy state... this helps me to receive God's total healing...
And by the end of last yr God has been doing a miraculous thing n my life.. He has been answering all my prayers.. The last prayer I've been asking God is to get delivered from alopecia.. i looking n the mirror and low and behold fuzzies were on my scalp.. praise God...
To answer ur question how to keep ur wig on... i have been blessed with the art of making my own wigs.. l purchase a wig cap, hair glue and hair of course... then im off and running.. within 45 min to 1 hr I'm done...
what you can do is buy hair glue by salon pro "Lace Wig Bond" and apply around perimeter of head.. apply wig carefully starting at forehead but make sure sides of wig r n right position.. (make sure the glue doesn't get on ur scalp where hair grows to prevent future growth..) To remove the wig apply 90% rubbing alcohol around perimeter where glue was... that should do it. This glue works well preventing wigs frim slipping.
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Permalink Reply by Kasandra on
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Hi Laura,
I could definitely relate to your story with discomfort of the wig. My hair started to rapidly fall out in October, December I've purchased my first wig. I've had the clips which seemed to work pretty well until last night I had to go back to the salon and she said the clips had to be removed because the few hairs that were left weren't able to keep the wig secure and steady. At the salon they gave me wig tape which I hated because it was SO hard to take off I had to cut off MY hair w/ the tape. BUMMER. I went out to the movies last night with a few friends who are unaware of my situation and caught myself fixing, touching, moving around the wig every couple of seconds! I was a nervous mess :/ I'm stuck on ideas, my dr. Has told me last week to shave my head, the salon had nothing positive to suggest seemed like all they do is reach their hands out, if you know what I mean.. But I hope you figure something out ASAP because I know how that discomfort feels..best of luck to you. -marta
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Laura, I've been there... we all have.
Once you finally decide to commit to the wig route, you need a really good quality wig, or a prosthesis hair piece. They're more expensive, but worth it, because they look and feel more natural, have real human hair, and stay affixed to your head better than any $40 or even $200 wig will. Now I know there are numerous vendors out there that sell these, but I've been wearing the "Gripper" designed by Peggy Knight and manufacured by Follea. The Gripper suctions to your head (or 'grips') with silicon, while letting your scalp breathe. There are no clips, tape, or glue. The hair is real European human hair of very good quality. You can actually live a normal life with these. I've wasted hundreds of dollars on cheap wigs, which fell apart after a few washes, shed hair like crazy, didn't stay in place, are uncomforable, and just looked cheap, making me exceptionally self-conscience because I always worried that others were going to notice and figure out that it's not my real hair. Invest in a good quality prosthesis hair piece. It will last alot longer and the comfort and security (physical and emotional) you get from it is totally worth the price. Remember, you get what you pay for.
Good luck
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Laura,
I've had the same experiences that you have! I have a few stories where my wig was pulled off my head as a joke by a co-worker. That one hurt. I have AA and have had it for the majority of my life. I wear a Follea gripper sport and absolutely love it. I do everything in mine and honestly I don't even think about it. When I wore a vacuum I was limited by what I could do since the full head cap didn't breath etc. One hot sweaty mess. Oh, ponytails are not a problem at all. I can even go as far to say I don't think anybody would even know you are wearing a wig. Check out Follea gripper sport, it maybe a fantastic option. Shoot me some questions if you want to talk to someone who wear one and is very active.
Susan
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Permalink Reply by Shepaints on
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Hi! I feel you. Sorry you are going through this. I think if you get a good quality piece, you will feel more confident!!!
I am around a lot of African American women so wearing hair is not that big of a deal. It is when you are I have done an extensive amount of research and still trying to do so on this topic. Be sure to follow "Y" at the Women's Hairloss Project site. I learned a lot from her as well as visiting Jewish women's sites (orthodox women cover their hair with wigs/sheitals! That was comforting)
Get yourself a WIGRIP (it's a velvet headband) and works wonders!!!! It will NOT come off unless someone tugs very hard. You can get it on Milano's site. Others have it too. This simple thing has given me much peace. Yes, you can glue it too if you have no hair.
After trying different types of wigs, I learned a few things. Here are my top tips!!
100% Virgin Human hair is the way to go (it can be very expensive, so you may want to get a lightly processed wig. I just purchased one from Fortune Wigs out of NJ. I really like it so far! I fooled my dr with it.)
I have purchased beauty supply store wigs, from voguewigs, Milano, Cyberhair and others. I want a Follea one day. If my hair completely goes -- then a vacuum style freedom wig. Synthetic is OK but be prepared to replace it every 3-4 mos with continuous wear. The Jon Renau brand is decent .
Get a Silk top with a natural part
Lace front (you might like that if you do not have a hair line to blend your hair with it)
Do not put heat on it (avoid). Wash rarely . Use baby powder to Dry shampoo it.
Presently, I'm pretty happy with my "Mazali Bliss" by Fortune. They provide a guarantee, so that impressed me.
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Would you mind sharing a little of your experience with Cyberhair?? I've sent off for information about their wigs but wondered what you thought about the hair.....did you add hair to your own or buy a wig/hairpiece? Thanks!
catsmama
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Permalink Reply by Sun Wilder on
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Hi Laura,
I went through a similar experience, going from a lot of really curly kinky hair to much less kinky hair to a lot of really thick straight Asian hair. Some friends ignored it, some friends got catty (this still hurts) and others showered me with compliments. You get to learn who people in your life really are when you go through something like this. It sounds like your partner is someone of quality. Silence prevents him from saying anything that might hurt your feelings. My partner was the exact same way, he never said anything about my hair.
I held everything in for so long one day I just burst with hurt and I had to tell him. Through the sobs and tears I let go of it all and he just listened and supported me. It really helped my mental health and it strengthened our relationship.
I have been through many really bad wigs and am still searching for the perfect one. It helps to become knowledgeable about wigs, I learn a fair amount by combing the internet, forums, You Tube, wig sites whatever. It does take time but until the magic wig fairy grants all our wig wishes we must rely on our own resourceful abilities. My best advice for you is to get the foundation of your wig made from a mold of your head. This way there are no weird bulges and far less slippage (I don't even use tape most of the time). Also, look into hair types and densities. You can order pieces that have a greater density in the back and less near your ears and forehead (like normal growing hair).
For the mold making, I've used a plaster cast method and it was horrible! Instead use the food wrap and tape method. A hairstylist that specializes in wigs should know what this is.
This will get easier for you! Stay strong and focus your energies on taking care of yourself.
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Hi... Sometimes I read these forums and really feel bad about my situation.It can make reality more real:-( wig wise I'm with u.. Soooo difficult. I use wigstoreonline. They have a uk and oz based website but deliver world wide. After many horrible and expensive encounters I now just use monofilament human hair wigs and pop on a swim hat that's designed for cancer patients for swimming. Unfortunately I have to get changed in the toilet cubicle which pains me and even looking out a windy weather gives me heartburn but these wigs are great... U can tighten as u need. They r inexpensive so I normally have a couple...1 for tying back under a baseball cap for training,1 for going out and 1 for work...all I can say is try a few different ones... Keep that beautiful head up and embrace life as u know it:-))) easier said than done I know but let's go with it.Happy wig hunting x
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Permalink Reply by amberc on
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Hi! I attach my hair with adhesives as someone else mentioned here, but I would also highly recommend the wigrip. Amazon sells them and I've heard lots of great feedback on them!
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Permalink Reply by MJ Wrick on
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I have found that adding a little liquid fabric softener helps cut down on the itchiness. Wig caps make me feel almost clostraphobic (never liked stuff on my head anyway).i have found that if I buzz what's left on my head, it stays on better, too, but I feel you- I am SO self-conscious when I wear a new wig out, it's so hard even being a veteran in this war I still feel like a freak.
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