Extremely self-conscious about my wig

Hi all, so glad to have found this forum. :)

This is my first post, so I want to give a little background info on myself. My name is Laura, I'm 23 years old and have been dealing with supposed androgenetic alopecia since I was 11 years old (when I hit puberty). My hair has continued to thin since then and for the past 4-5 months I've been wearing a wig. Buying a wig was a really, REALLY difficult decision for me. I was practically bald when I bought my wig - it had gotten to the point where the only way to conceal my scalp was with nearly half a bottle of Toppik. When I put my hair in a pony tail was/is probably half the size of my pinky finger. It was extremely embarrassing, but I found the concept of suddenly wearing a wig to be just as embarrassing.

I cried multiple times during wig consultations before I finally stopping moping around and bought my first. It's a nice Estetica human hair wig, but I've been having some major issues... most likely because I'm still sort of in denial and know nothing about wigs. I hate the fact that everyone I know clearly is aware that I wear a wig. I really want a new wig but am worried about the sudden change in wigs... I really don't want a single person to comment on it. 

I am in a relationship and he was with me when I was practically bald, and he's with me now that I wear a wig. It makes me uncomfortable that he never comments on it so I don't really feel comfortable taking it off in front of him... not sure why. I'm still so new to this whole wig thing. I just wish I knew ONE other person that wore a wig...

ANYWAYS, I bought my wig at an awful, overpriced wig shop. The lady put 3 clips in, clipped them in to my nearly nonexistent hair, and sent me on my way. If I place my hand on my scalp it slips every which way. My hair seems too thin for the clips to really grab it. This is okay if I'm not moving... but seriously... I'm constantly worried about it falling off. That would be an absolute nightmare for me. I also hate the thought of never swimming again. I can't wear my hair up at the gym because when I put it up, it pulls and makes the wig slip back off my scalp. It's MISERABLE. Oh, and lets not even talk about how it holds up in the bedroom...  

I just want to be normal. I just want to go to an amusement park and not worry about my wig flying off. I want to go swimming without looking bald or covered in some sort of hair net. I want to go to the gym and be able to put my hair up. I feel like I'm CONSTANTLY readjusting/pulling up my wig. 

Can anyone offer me some advice on helping my wig stay put? I don't use wig caps because when I've used them in the past, they slip off just as easily if not moreso than just a wig. If my wig would stay put, I feel like my confidence would skyrocket.

Thanks so much for reading!! :)

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Permalink Reply by Lavonne Sandberg on August 1, 2017 at 7:21am

This Free E-book on Wigs can help you.

Permalink Reply by Aly089 on August 31, 2017 at 8:04pm
I've been wearing wigs for 18 years and believe me when I say I've tried it all. From being completely bald and wearing $5000 a pop suction cap wigs to letting what little hair I have grow and moving into the world of lace wigs which whilst being much cheaper also allow me to try and grow my own hair out. I don't like to clip my wigs in as I find the clips pull on my hair and eventually it falls out anyway. I also don't use tape or glue anymore as I like to remove my wig every night and have it ready for wear the next day. I have managed to find a wig that helps to moderate these issues by being held in place with an elastic band and hair gel- no shit! I'm currently on my second wig from this manufacturer, and find they last me much longer than other lace wigs. I'm still not 100% satisfied as the first wig had great hair movement and never knotted at the back when I wore it down, whereas I find cheaper lace wigs can get very knotty and matted. However the first wig I ordered was a natural brown, and with the second being a blonde near platinum colour i can feel the degeneration of the hair and difference in texture. At the moment I get around 6 months constant day to day wear from these wigs, however I try to NEVER sleep in them as that's probably the worst thing you can do. I know how hard that can be when your partner is somewhat non responsive to the situation, but I've found that having some nice scarves and turbans to sleep in may help ease him into being with you, as you naturally are. I've had some shitty men who either got freaked out about it or said everything was fine till they broke up with me because it was "too weird". There's no trying to please them. Your hair loss journey is about you, and you deserve to feel comfortable and beautiful regardless of your situation. This doesn't always happen. I am currently home from work "sick" when really I had a breakdown over not being able to set my wig naturally enough. And in a town of 13000 people, who don't know I wear a wig (as I moved interstate AFTER I had been wearing wigs for almost a decade) it's hard to imagine going through that whole telling everyone stage again. I don't want the pity. I don't need anyone else talking about me or staring, like you I hate that about my alopecia. You should never feel alone though! There's so many of us tough women all fighting to feel normal. I think you should google freedom couture Australia though. This is where I buy my wigs. Just to have a look at her process even. She has videos on YouTube too of how she applies the wigs with the hair gel. I can say I've had to watch these and modify my own techniques to what works for me, but it's been a massive turning point for me in seeing a different way to achieve my desired result. I'm not in any way associated with this company, and as I've said I've had my own issues with them, but fully believe that I'm going to have issues with anything I try so why not give something new a go. Best of luck!!
Permalink Reply by Katie on September 7, 2017 at 8:47pm

Where are you located? There is a really good wig shop I went to in New Jersey and when I went on an amusement park ride, it didn't shift! They are really good about it and I would suggest this place to everyone. It's called Wigs by Barbara. 

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