Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Linda on January 16, 2012 at 5:53pm

Thank you and I'll do just that. I hope they realize what I'm going through. I'm uneasy about loosing my hair. But more so about what others will say or do. Thanks again. Linda Fitzgerald

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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on January 16, 2012 at 5:51pm

Hi

When my daughter first began to loose her hair I was very much like you. I educated myself investigating all the scenarios that may or may not happen. Which sounds like what you are doing. I believe this is very proactive and healthy behaviour, but I realised in my own family situation that it can be challenging for those around you.

My husband also thought I was overreacting with my daughter at the beginning, but after some very ardent communication on my part he realised how stressful his attitude was for me and in the end realised that my want was to make sure I had all the information to help my daughter make informed decisions on how to deal with her alopecia. I think this is what you are trying to do as well.

The thing that helped me communicate effectively with my husband and family at that time was a letter I wrote for myself to try and work out what was upsetting me and why I felt the need to do what I was doing. When my husband read the letter (he cried for the first time about our daughter's hairloss). If truth be told he felt so terribly helpless he just didn't know what to do. I sort of understood his attitude wasn't to hurt me, but it wasn't overly healthy either. Since that time he has become mine and my daughter's biggest support group. He's pretty fab!

People do deal with alopecia in different ways and have different timelines and attitudes about what will help.

I'm not sure if your family are doing the same type of thing. But it may be helpful for you to write down your feelings and your needs around your alopecia to help them understand.

I hope this all settles down and you find the best way to work this out.

Hugs

Rosy

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Permalink Reply by Linda on January 16, 2012 at 6:00pm

Thank you for your kind words a how you helped your husband to understand. I was reading your letter out loud ( I didn't realize my husband was at the bedroom door). He heard me reading, sat down beside me and gave me a hug. He said lets talk to the boys. We did and I feel so much better. Great big hugs to you Rosy and your family. Linda

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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on January 16, 2012 at 8:10pm

I'm pleased I was able to help. I feel you will find your way through this no matter what happens. Hang in there and keep talking to your family and your husband. :)

Take care

Rosy

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Permalink Reply by Lisa on January 23, 2012 at 2:35pm

I so understand,I have the samething happen to me they don't understand and I wish I could get them to.Please add me as a friend and we can maybe help each other .I live in North Carolina and found out about my alopecia in dec.2011 Thanks Lisa

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Permalink Reply by Linda on January 24, 2012 at 10:48am

Hi this is Linda replying to you letter. I found out about my alopecia areata Jan.2012 and my doctor acted like it was no biggy. I never even heard of this until that day. My husband came up with the funniest thing a couple of days ago. He's calling my 2 bald areas " solar panels for a sex machine". I laughed at that. He said " Now think of that so you'll smile alot. You're not ugly you're hot ". Oh, I live in Alamosa Colorado. My family are turning out to be my biggest supporters. My husband and kids even got me 2 bandannas to cover my head (if I want to) so I can go out side. More funny things to come I'm sure.
Just keep it real and if you can have fun with it. Hope this helps. I tried adding to my friends list but having trouble figuring that out. Me and computers don't really see eye to eye. Linda

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Permalink Reply by BTB (John) on January 24, 2012 at 5:20am

I made so many mistakes when pat got alopecia tried to be supportive and messed up. i joined this site so as to understand more of what alopecians go through and it has helped heaps, and just talikg about the impact has been good. I never thought we would still be dealing with AA after 20 years it has become a part of our lives and it is just normal now. I can say it has not affected my feelings for Pat and I can be just as shallow as the next man. Communicate on this site make friends with like minded people as yourself and if your like us things will improve.

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Permalink Reply by Pat on April 13, 2012 at 2:43am

Sometimes famiy just don't realize how emotionally devastating losing our hair can be while at the same time they feel helpless and powerless. I don't believe they are heartless, they just don't want to make a big deal of it in case they seem hung up on how we look. They also may not realize the extent of potential hair loss so tend to minimize it to alley our anxiety. Losing our hair is traumatic, just as any chronic disease is.

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Permalink Reply by Dorothy G. on April 23, 2012 at 9:05am

Finding out you have aloecia and trying to cope with it is hard. Do what will make you feel best for now and the future. Explore your options. For me two years of injections didn't help as much as I would have phoped. I went to a hair loss specialist wig salon and shaved the little bit I had left. Both have helped me deal with it.
It takes time to deal with aloecia. Maybe write down in a letter to them what you are feeling. That could help and be easier for you.
Good luck!

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