Female and have already lost so much hair, I'm 19 and having a really really hard time here

I vaguely remember thinking that my ponytail was getting smaller and smaller since I was 16/17, and a couple of years ago I cut my hair to a short bob. Now that it's grown longer again I can see just how much it has thinned over the past couple of years. Whenever I tie my hair back in a ponytail patches of my scalp just show through and my part is getting wider and wider. 

I'm really really upset over this, even though it's just hair. I'm being honest here, my hair is the only physical feature of myself that I love. I've always gotten compliments regarding it. It was so thick when I was a bit younger. 

I've been to the doctor and had some blood work done, I had some vitamin deficiencies and am on supplements right now, also the doctor diagnosed me with TE, though I really do believe I have AGA, considering the pattern of my hair loss (mostly at the crown) and how I do not really see much shedding, my hair just becomes thinner and thinner. I have been severely depressed throughout last year (not related to my hair) and also have been under tons of stress, and I'm really afraid that I will only continue to lose hair. 

I know it's just hair. I know that so much worse could happen. I lost my mother to cancer and spent a long time in the hospital and oncology wards, I know just how ugly things can get in this world, and here I am upset over HAIR. I'm already naturally lacking in self esteem and with my favorite physical feature going away I do not know how I'll cope in the future. I'm terrified and so upset, and I'm beating myself up over the fact that I'm so upset. I'd be ecstatic if I only know that I could keep whatever hair I have left. I feel like I will never get a chance to be loved, that people will only be nice to me for the sake of being nice but that nobody would want to get involved with me. I'm just so scared right now.

Sorry this is so long, I needed to rant. 

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I am so sorry you are gping thrpugh this!
AGA here too.
But trust me: even if it does not feel like it for you right now, you will be loved- with or without hair!

Thank you, I'm still trying to cope. :( 


Sorry to hear that you;re going through this. I think you should allow yourself to be upset, it's normal to feel this way. I was so angry about what I did wrong that may lead to loosing my hair. I also felt very powerless looking at my hair going without being able to stop that. Besides, this is the right place for you. You can tell about your feelings and have people' support through this. Many women in this group support are married or have got married after they lost their hair. So, there is hope! Don't give up and don't let yourself be depressed. There is hope out there.

Yes, it's true that loosing hair is not life threatening, there is worst than that. It's true. It helped me a lot to look at this differently. It took years to understand that it's this new situations and to adjust to it.

Good luck and remember that this is the place for you to find support and learn about your new condition and how to handle it. 

Thank you:) as long as there's hope

I hear ya. Im 29 and my AGA is just starting to make itself known. I spent months researching the crap out of this condition , going to doctors, ect. and I will be honest, there really isn't a cure for it. There are ways to treat the appearance but thats about it. I'm not meaning to be a downer but I just wanted to tell you the truth so as you wont be mislead by anyone. Some docs who specialize in hair loss may mention a med called Spironolactone. Please, stay away from it! It can do damage to your health. A lot of women use it anyway do to it's antiandrogenetic properties but it is NOT meant for this reason. Google it and you will see what I mean. There is another site called, The womans hairloss project. I suggest you check out this site because most of the woman on there also deal with AGA.

Best of luck to you.

I have alopecia areata and i'm 19 too , i know how hard it is at this age to fit in or just ''be normal'' . I'm having the worst time since it started and i was 3 then so it was long time ago, 4 years ago it got worse but i was always thinking positive , that it will get better . Then one day i woke up and realised that almost all of my hair is gone , i have maybe 2 % left  and i'm wearing a wig since May but i can't shave it , i'm not brave enough to do it . I'm also suffering from depression for 2 years now , feeling hopeless and i'm afraid like you that people won't accept me .

Has a dermatologist done a biopsy to determine exactly what kind of hair loss you have?

I have Alopecia Totalis. I lost all of my hair over a period of 3-6 months when I was 12 and totally get the insecurity! I was the same exact way about my hair when I first started losing it. It was my favorite feature and was mid way down my back when the patches started to show. It was traumatizing to go through, but now I'm 16 and have learned how to see myself as more than my hair. I pray to God that you get to keep why you have, and am so sorry and sympathetic to why you are going through, but if it ends up turning into something worse, I've got your back! But seriously don't feel bad about freaking out. Hair is strangely part of our identities, especially as women, and losing it makes you feel so vulnerable and isolated from everyone. But sometimes awesome relationships come out of forced vulnerability. Now I'm starting to rant, so Im going to shut up, but you aren't alone. I guess that's what I wanted to say the most.
Get a new "favorite feature" for awhile and play it up. Who will be the one you are trying to impress? Professor? Work on improving the brain. Coach? Legs and strength, stamina. Girlfriends? Eyes, lips, nails. Men? Cleavage and waist...if only sexual attraction is what you want. Self? This is the one that really counts...and can range from as selfish as that famous selfie-taker to a pious choir girl who works to improve her singing voice. Me? I worked at what my hands and eyes and brain could do with my artwork. Pick the "feature" that will endure in memory, even when girlfriends are getting fat, saggy, wrinkled and gray at 70. I pick skills, brain, heart, hands to create or give to the world, and arms that can hug loved ones to make THEM feel good. Look beyond the mirror and into your future.

Hi! My names Victoria and I'm also 19 years old and experiencing the same thing. It sucks no doubt about it. My hair too was my favorite feature about myself but obviously that has now changed. I still have some hair but the areas where it matters like the hairline is completely gone. I now wear a wig with my already existing hair and I love it so much. It took me a while to find my new wig but it has completely changed my outlook on everything. I don't have to do my hair now I just throw it on and it looks great. Its like my new accessory. I was originally diagnosed with TE as well but it progressed to AA and then started to become totalis. I am now on xeljanz and everything is coming back. Don't lose hope! Its also way more common than you would think. People always tell me its just hair and I hate it. No one will understand unless it happens to them!!


My heart goes out to you. I am sorry for all the sufferings that you went through. This might not be a very great piece of advice, but still I'd love for you to try it. Try meditating as you are in the need of some peace of mind. It did help me to a certain extent. Though my pain is nothing as compared to yours, but yes, i have lost my hair too and have been on wig since two years. I am 20 and have been dealing with alopecia since a decade. In such moments when one is not able to look up in the mirror and look ownslef in the eye, then i guess it calls for some serious efforts on your part. Ofcourse, saying is easy than doing. But please do try meditating daily. It would give you the power that you need desperately. My good wishes with you. 

When you feel as if you are not able to tolerate all of this anymore, just think of one thing that you are not alone in this. There are several out there suffering as much as you or even worse. Chant the mantra "this too shall pass."

I'll echo what Tallgirl said. For years, I agonized over my alopecia.  I came to the realization that it was starting to harm me mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  I don't want alopecia to take over my life like that so I figured I needed to do something about it.  It is amazing how finding a purpose in your life can change things.  A friend encouraged me to start taking photographs a couple of years ago.  I recently had one of my photographs published in a book this past spring.  This is not to diminish what you are going through now.  But it is a process and please know this....you are brave, you are strong, and you will be okay even if it doesn't feel this way right now. 



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