Alopecia World
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Finding strength from the wonderful people here
I found strength through this forum and the wonderful people on it. I dance, I show dogs, and a lot of that is about appearance so I got a wig and was wearing it all the time. I ride a motorcycle, and can not wear the wig under my helmet, so was doing a sleight of hand to try to get my wig on before anyone noticed. I went out on my motorbike to a tourist town, where no one knew me. There I was about to try my 'trick' and I suddenly thought "what the L"!! and decided to go "topless"!! I walked around totally bald and no one gave me a second look. I wandered into stores and chatted with the check out girls and went to a coffee shop and sat at one of their tables on the street treating myself to a pastry. It was so totally freeing. Of course that one step did not lead me to instantly go wigless, but slowly I started not wearing it at home and then after that when I was where no one knew me.
I have friends who have cancer and have no hair as a side effect of the treatment. I have a wonderful friend dying of the worst kind of MS. She is to the point she can not even pee without help!! She is so STRONG and positive!! I came to the realization that there are FAR worse and deadly things to have than AU!! I started looking at the positives. No such thing as a bad hair day. No helmet hair. I can shower and go to bed without having to deal with wet hair. I never have a bad hair day. With summer coming on I am going 'topless' more and more. My husband loves my smoothness and no hair in my intimate area. VBG!!
I decided to 'come out' on Facebook. While I have not posted any photos, I told about the AU, what it is and why I am getting more ok with it (its not fatal and its not contagious!!!).
So I still wear a wig when showing dogs and dancing because I feel 'prettier' that way, but on a day to day basis I go topless. Now all the stress of AU has left me. I just love when the Drs say "its caused by stress, lessen the stress in your life" when the very AU was causing your stress!! Yeah - that is SO helpful!! That is gone now. Slowly I came to this place and it was caused by the wonderful people HERE. Their strength and their courage. I have had AA off and on since I was 27. Last July it suddenly stopped any regrowth and started on its path to AU. I have no hair anywhere, no eyebrows or eye lashes. I use make up to cover that fact when I am out dancing or dog showing, but not on a daily basis. I am 51
I have realized that if someone has a problem with how you or someone else looks, that is THEIR problem not yours. I have been approached now by people who have had cancer or who have relatives with cancer. I explain I don't have cancer, but have AU and that I am lucky - its not life threatening.
Truly if you understand that there are FAR worse things out there to have, it helps you deal with AU.
Love yourself first. Appreciate your life. Find the positives. Hang out with people who appreciate you for who you are. Wear a wig if you want to and don't if you don't want to and to "L" with what others think. Its about being comfortable in your own skin. I happily accept any friend requests so if you need someone to chat with, friend me
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Sandra on
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You are SO right about finding the positives! No more shaving your legs, bad hair days and getting ready to go anywhere is done in half the time! I also have AU and (after much sole searching and crying) I have come to the realization that I can't do anything about it so I have stopped stressing about what people will think of me. You are right it is not MY problem but THEIRS...
I have a friend battling cancer and have helped her learn to tie scarves and where to buy the best hats, etc. I am a teacher in a primary school so I do wear a wig to work but don't at home or among friends. I applaud you for going out to stores topless and have yet to do that but am working on my confidence. I only recently lost my hair and it was a dramatic and very rapid loss. (I lost all of my hair in 2 weeks only 1 year ago at the age of 58)
I love reading the discussions on this board and have found much help and support through the kind words and insights from the amazing people who post to it. Thanks for your encouraging words and I look forward to hearing more from you about your journey.
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Permalink Reply by Fiona on
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Honestly the more you go topless the easier it is to do. Like you I wear a wig in specific places, for you it is at work as a teacher for me it is dancing or showing dogs, but on MY time I go free and easy. Your confidence grows the more you do it. When we have friends with cancer it shows us how much worse it could be and honestly how GOOD we have it. There is always something worse out there!!
You totally get it. Thank you so much for replying
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Thanks again! I will let you know when I take the "plunge". You are an inspiration! Thanks!
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And thank you for replying. It is this give and take that helped me get more confidence.
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Well I was just following in the footsteps of the brave ones who beat the path for me. The kids here, the people who have always had Alopecia, the tough ones who are an example for us all. They truly helped me
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Fiona: You msg. is soo inspiring. God Bless you, you are in the right track. Thankyou for sharing, LU
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As they say "pay it forward". THIS forum has given me so much. Thank you for replying
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Its through such messages that I gain my confidence. Thank you for replying
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Love this post!!!
Thank you!
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