I have often contemplated why has this alopecia come into my world....
And with that thought comes a river of thoughts, many ideas of what could have participated toward triggering it off.. Was it the extreme amounts of heavy metals in my system, revealed by a hair analyst? Perhaps the trial of flea drops and kerosene on my head to rid my thick dreadlocked hair of head lice? (BTW..flea drops worked!)
Could it have been the Shampoo I left on my head over night before I discoverd my first bald patch? Did I not drink enough water? probally not... Is it genetic?? So they say...
Have I been in denial of being stressed whilst trying to remain calm? Yep! ...Did the occasional anxiety attack contribute? I always believed I was a generally relaxed person... People seem to think I am. Sometimes....
Hmmm.... much to ponder on... I would definitely say it all contributed.
The other question I asked myself was.... Am I living my truth?.... Am I working toward what it is that I am really truly passionate about?....
The answer to that was Hmmm...not completely... However I have been doing what I very much enjoy and love doing and feel very blessed to have experienced all that I have. Especially the opportunities with my Art and the people i have surrounded myself with. I see all its relevance, Perhaps some decisions I wish I had of made different.. But all n' all No regrets what so ever..
The one thing that has frustrated me in the past, was my compulsive procrastination disorder...
I am in the process of eliminating this dis-ease in my life so that I may flow freely toward the fruition of my full potential....
Things are falling in to place nicely.. As they always have in divine time, the great plan unfolds...Yet the more in tune I become the faster these things will take place.
I once was some what in line of the dream that I was continually thinking of consciously, manifesting in my waking life.. then somewhere along the way I got side tracked, slightly manipulated in an artificial reality.. 'Mainstream society" Although still some what on par with the greater vision just not focused toward it enough.. Getting caught up in a slightly superficial reality, was far from what I was about and wanting to promote..
About the time I was to sign up with a modeling agency, my hair started to fall out... I took that as a sign that I was not to do it..
Emotionally I have been through alot in the past year.. After being diagnosed with alopecia last may.. But in that time I have really given thought to what my purpose is on this planet by realizing what my passions are..
And I realized that nothing lights my fire more than when I am discussing future plans of creating a future for the younger generations. A self sustainable lifestyle that does not require the dependance of a system based on fear, But to enable people to coexist in a some sort of harmony.
I have a dream of creating a multicultural self sustainable lifestyle here in Aotearoa New Zealand.
Now, since I see much clearer through all the haze of emotion and illusion. I feel a sense of urgency to move forward with these projects.. my dreams ..Step by step I will get there, we will get there.. with the support of like minded people whom also share the vision and want to help it become reality..
One step I have taken is that I have applied for a scholarship that encourages people to "do your thing" the person with the most votes wins.. So you see I need lots more votes .. Approximately 3000 and more...
I would really appreciate if you could all push the link and VOTE FOR ME!!! and pass it on to all that you can.. It would be much appreciated!!!
http://www.doyourthing.co.nz/2010-01632/phillipa-hartley
Anywho, to conclude this spiel... My question is, after all... will my hair grow back completely when I feel I am fulfilling what it is I feel I am ment to be doing ? without procrastinating, but being motivated toward living a more conscious lifestyle that in recent past I have so foolishly been avoiding?
Can anybody relate to what I am saying? nevertheless Please VOTE FOR ME!!!!
Thank you kindly. and please I invite any thoughts to my crazy mind...
Many Blessings to each and every one!!!!
PEACE