Alopecia World
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He hasn't seen it yet...
Hello all. (sorry this is long)
I've been considering joining this community for a few years now and finally took the plunge.
When I was 14 (currently 18, almost 19), I started losing my hair. It has gotten progressively worse over the past few years and I can now say that I have lost over 50% of my already-thin hair due to androgenetic alopecia. It's most obvious on the crown of my head and around my cowlick.
THE MAIN POINT:
*A month ago I married the love of my life whom I've known for a long time.
*He has known about my condition since before I even told him (he noticed when I first started losing it around 14).
*After my hair started getting bad (in my opinion back then. hah.), I started using toppik, and he hasn't seen me without it for a long time (1+ years). Since then, it has gotten even worse.
*I HATE toppik. I hate the hassle of putting it in. I hate the chemical smell. I hate how it gets on EVERYTHING. For that reason, the last time I wore it was my wedding day.
*Instead, I have been wearing scarves all the time. Yes, even to sleep. He hasn't seen me without one on at all.
*He is completely 100000% supportive. He says he'd love me even if I didn't have a single hair on my head and that he thinks I'm beautiful.
*I. can't. show him.
No matter how hard I try. I can't. Sometimes I'm about to... I go to the mirror backwards and hold up another one to see the back of my head -what he will see. And I panic and change my mind. Even when I don't do this I just can't. I don't know what I'm afraid of....maybe I want him to maintain that image of me that he used to have when I had long curly hair- before it fell out and got chopped off. I don't want it to be replaced by an image of me looking diseased....
How do I show him?......
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Mollygirl on
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Hi there, I'm new to this experience, have had Alopecia for about 2 years and been losing my hair quite steadily now for the past 6 months. My boyfriend tells me the same thing. He will love me no matter what because he's in love with me not my hair.
My advice to you is to trust him. He knew about it before he married you and to not trust him now could make him feel you don't have confidence in him to handle it well. Give him the chance to be the loving partner he wants to be. I'm pretty sure he didn't marry your hair. Just my thoughts hun. Take care. :)
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Thanks for the reply =)
A few days ago I had a sudden burst of courage, so I fixed what little hair I have left up nicely and waited for him to come home. I just walked around like nothing was different, and he acted like it as well (besides a few extra smiles). Haven't worn a scarf since ;)
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Hi again,
Wonderful! I'm so glad you did that and I'm sure he is too! You are a courageous woman and now you know he sees that too. It will be a better road to walk together. All the best to you both!
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And to you both as well! =)
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