Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Yvonne on January 10, 2014 at 11:07pm

For me, wearing a wig is my salvation! I chose a wig that is very similar to my hair, which all fell out within a month, so very few people know. Be kind to yourself and do what feels right for you. It is YOUR journey! Hugs!

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Permalink Reply by Lionel on January 10, 2014 at 6:02am

At the age of 17 I lost all of my hair which was a really big deal for me, I have always had semi-long hair and was able to cover it up for a long time. The covering put a huge strain on me which (in combination with other factors) lead me in a sort of depression. 

After a while I was fed up with that feeling and started to tell people about my Alopecia when I had my wig. I told people in my class in secondary school/high school. I figured that people wouldn't judge me when they knew about it, rather than spreading rumors when they didn't know what was the deal with my hair. And I was right, when I told people that I was bald an wearing a wig, everyone showed so much respect for me which was a huge relief which helped me accepting Alopecia. After a while my hair started growing back again, and falling out once more. Last time that happened was in 2011, and I had quite stable times since then. Up until now, because quite a big patch started appearing lately (which is visible on my profile pic). Quite a shame since I am growing my hair to donate it when it is long enough. Which I am still doing, no matter the Alopecia. 

I don't hide it either, I am open about it and don't mind talking about it with others. Whether they are friends or random people. Last night I announced -for the first time- on Facebook that I have alopecia and that I would rather want people to know about it than knowing that people are watching 'it' and don't dare say or ask anything about it. I posted it last night at 2 AM and I already received a lot of support, really nice comments and a lot of likes. It makes me happy that everybody just respects me for who I am, and I am definitely not going to let something stupid (if I may) like alopecia change me. 

I'm 21 now and still accepting it, as it can be quite hard to get judged all the time (or think you are). But I'm making a solid road ahead of me which I will not let anyone break down!

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Permalink Reply by reesespieces5678 on January 12, 2014 at 12:41am

Hi,

I wear a wig. Just recently I shaved my head and I now know shaving my head will be my life choice. I feel I am still human, we are all human. Everyone has problems, we cant let alopecia separate us from others. Having alopecia has made me strong. It has made me realize inner beauty and acceptance. I remember a few months ago when I first shaved my head, I went to yoga bald because I wanted too. I felt such freedom from being bald and I wanted everyone to see, and I wanted to prove to myself that I didn't care what others thought. Be proud of who you are, and what you look like. 

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Permalink Reply by reesespieces5678 on January 12, 2014 at 4:05pm

Hi, no one said anything. I went to a place that I knew I wasn't going to know anyone. Felt amazing being bald.  I know where a crappy wig with a big headband/scarf. That first week I went bald, I just feel a sense of freedom and I wanted to express it. Now I wear wigs always except when no one is around and with close people. Not because I am ashamed, I just pretend it's my real hair, like every body else. 

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Permalink Reply by femmemuscle on January 12, 2014 at 7:13pm

thanks to having social anxiety, i am only around people when i am at work, or if i ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO, in the gym, or grocery shopping.

I tend to wear wigs whenever i'm out in public.  It's a lot easier for me this way.  Having to work in small towns, and being a woman of color - i tend to attract unwanted attention.  And ladies, you would not believe the gawking/staring/"mad dogging" that women of color receive from other cultures in isolated locations. Yes, one time i was crossing the street in Idaho? an old couple was so busy "gawking while driving" they actually ran their car into a light pole while turning the corner.

My SO is very sympathetic, and learned over the years, that yes.. It's far more easier to blend into the majority and be totally oblivious to those who are genetically different.  When he was diagnosed with alopecia, he said he literally became a "different species" overnight.  People just looked at him "differently", treated him "differently", and he wasn't very popular any more.  After a while? he was literally ostracized from the "in crowd" or the "beautiful people". In many cases, he learned that people can be cruel for no reason because you're considered an "other"..

In large cities, i am not anxious to go out without my wigs or hair pieces. Hell, no one cares.  There's too many people/cultures out there to worry about.

In small towns, you have to be "on point", as we used to say in the modeling business because you are constantly under the microscope. People in small towns talk a LOT.. no reason to give them even MORE to yack about..

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Permalink Reply by Anyanwu Chinyere Oby on January 15, 2014 at 2:00pm

Hi Marina,

My name is Chinyere I am from Nigeria and have been living with AA for over 8years now. It wasn't easy for about 3years for me to come to terms with what was going on in my body because I didn't have a clue to what was happening and felt so embarrassed to discuss this with anyone. I wasn't in a relationship so I felt safe in my shell and would wake up in the mornings and find my hair on my pillow, I couldn't cry, I was in complete shock. The day my half of my hair came off alongside the hair extension I was wearing was the day I died, resurrected and died again. ( if you know what i mean).

AA is not a sight you would find on the streets of Nigeria and it wasn't common fashion sense for a young lady to be bald. I had to summon courage and spoke to my older brother who is a medical doctor and he said to me you have Alopecia, and am like ''what is that? . I dived for my laptop and looked up the word on Google and that is how I came in touch with other persons like me.

It took me about 2 years later on to start talking about it after i had gotten tired of going from hospital to medications to no avail.

Then the big one came I met this guy who was really fantastic ( we've broken up though after 4years) and I was soooo afraid that I might loose him if I told him about my AA. But I had to tell him and he was very cool with it i never wore my wig or scarfs around him. Next I felt trapped within I needed to free myself and I woke up one day took my clippers and took a taxi to a barbers shop I didn't drive so that I wouldn't hide i took off my scarf and everyone at the shop had different reactions, some where in shock and some liked my courage. I couldn't care less what does in shock were thinking about I needed to free myself from trying to be  something for people while it was killing me inside.

That day I had my break and since then I choose to step out of my house in STYLE, with a wig, a scarf, a hat,cap or boldly bald which I have come to adore.

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Permalink Reply by aggiewife22 on January 15, 2014 at 5:59pm

I have only had AU for a short time (diagnosed two years ago, shaved my head in September). My coping strategy is focusing on what I have. I have my health, my kids and husband are healthy. AU has taken my hair but it didn't take away who I am. It didn't take away  my ability to do the things I love to do. My favorite line to say is "I am more than my hair". You are SO much more than your hair!

I personally don't wear any coverings (unless it's really cold). When I have a covering on, I am constantly worried about it moving or it not looking right. I feel really comfortable going bald in public.There are always people who stare. Most of the time I don't even notice. The people who are actually brave enough to talk to me have been so sweet and so nice. I look at it as a way to educate more people. Even if I only talk to one person, that's one more person who now knows about Alopecia. 

I am very lucky because I have VERY supportive family and friends. I have found that since I accept my Alopecia, they do too and it's not a big deal to them. If you need more support, you can look for a support group in your area. 

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Permalink Reply by Rose on January 16, 2014 at 11:59am

developed coping strategies alone, but my husband supported what ever decision I made.

wore scarves and hats, but took me at least two years before I would go bald in public.  Still a difficult thing for me to do, but getting more and more comfortable with it.  It is just a matter of not caring what other's think and accepting myself in what ever state I am in.  I have always been concerned about what others think so this is very difficult for me.  However, during the summer, I go bald outdoors in nature.  Have never done it in a store or public building. I just hate the staring and people thinking I am sick. I was told by a friend that I don't see it...that folks are staring because I am beautiful.  So again...it boils down to me and how I feel about myself.

For my new job I wear a wig.  It is a nice change of pace, but I hate how uncomfortable they feel on my head. 

Thanks for posting all your questions.

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