Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
How to accept being ugly
This is going to sound majorly harsh, but hear me out.
I feel like the "bald is beautiful" is a lie we tell ourselves and others just to feel better. I don't think bald is beautiful. I think some can be beautiful IN SPITE of being bald, but it will always detract from their appearance. I don't want to pamper myself and say that if I take a bubble bath and get new clothes and work on the rest of my appearance and "do things to make myself feel pretty" I'll feel attractive, because guess what, I'm not, and I won't try to fool myself into thinking I am. I'm sorry, I realize how insulting to everyone this sounds, but looks DO weigh more than personality in the world. Unfair and sucky, but it's true and we all know it. Jobs, dating, personal worth largely hinges on social perception of ourselves. I can't look a certain way and I can't fool myself into feeling a certain way and so normally I focus on other things, but I'm still never really ok. I go through life knowing that disgust is power, and so no one will mess with me because in a way, walking around with a half smooth half shaved head makes me look tough. But still, I know I am still not ok with my ugliness.
There must be a way to peace without lying to myself. Question is, how can I come to terms and accept that I am ugly? Any thoughts?
-PG
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Gordon Patzer on
-
Thank you Dehliaa for your "well said" message that you took the time to send. I much appreciate it.
-
Permalink Reply by Karen Katz on
-
Believe that you're beautiful, as what @justlovely16 said, confidence is beautiful. It's not about hair, it comes from within. It's like having gorgeous blond, brunette or red hair that suddenly turns gray......does that make you not beautiful anymore? Seriously, we are all special beings, find that space within and allow your inner beauty to shine forth.
xoxo
-
-
Hooray Michela 1986...I love your message and perspective!
-
Permalink Reply by Dragongirl on
-
Ok, that's it. I can't take this anymore. Will everyone arguing just shut up already! I get that u r just posting opinions put they r sounding so hate filled. You guys think your posts r helping but they r just stirring the pot even more and turning into a bloodbath. I am addressing those who's post started out as personal opinions then became angry posts. you are probably making this poor girl even more confused and upset! How about we just agree to disagree?
-
-
Now my turn:
Personally, I do not lean more on one side or the other. I believe that it is totally ok and even therapudic (if i spelled that right) to be open with how you feel and even to share it with others. I agree with those who posted that its good to share frustration with eachother. It lets us vent and relate. However, I also agree with those who say that its important that we loves ourselves for who we are and not how we look. Society really has brained washed all of us since a very young age at how things 'should' be. There has to come a time where we need to pick ourselves up, take a deep breath and move on. If we stay where we are at in depression and negative self talk and thought we will never move on to the potential that life can bring. Now, don't get me wrong. I am just as bad as the other person. I am still learning and growing and I hope to some day get to that point of no longer caring. Its a process.
Anyway, I just finished a workout so I am in a much more positive mood. Heres an idea: i challenge anyone who is reading this to do some form of workout whenever they are feeling down. Try it! Its a great mood lifter!
-
Permalink Reply by Andrey on
-
Well generally you never get over being ugly which is the entire premise of it. Even if you happen to achieve some form of acceptance, life will remind you of it on a regular basis. When you are unattractive nothing is the same. Going out to club or a bar as an unattractive person is a completely different experience for someone deemed attractive. Your dating options are limited and it's much more difficult to find a partner. There is no real way to get over this or accept it.
-
-
Believe me, I know how it can feel. There just came a point in time where I realized that there is no pleasing a lot people and living up 2 the expectations of society. I may get rejected or looked down upon but u know what? They can just kiss my ass. I gave up caring what society thinks. Fortunately, I have a husband who knows about my problems and still loves me. I have seizures, memory problems,hair loss,learning disabilities that make it hard 2 find a job/making a life 4 myself,ect. So, if there is hope 4 me there will be 4 others even if they aren't able 2 believe it yet.
By the way, I also don't see the point in obsessing over the physical if we are all gunna lose it as we age anyway.
-
-
Good on you for confronting all those difficulties, doesn't sound easy whatsoever. Thanks for being real, and as soon as I get a new bike helmet (which is interesting with alopecia concerning how it feels on bare skin) I'm going to get in better shape. I agree, exercise boosts mood and confidence.
-
-
Dearie me!
Andrey- is there no beginning to your talent for Joie de vivre?
You really must get in more... I recommend a darkened room with no mirrors.
If people come around ( hopefully attractive people) Make sure you have a placard around your neck so they can know your opinion of yourself. Perhaps... ugly and i know it
Your protestations and perverse logic of how people react and define people is frankly despicable and pitiful.
-
-
I can't believe you and Andrey are still in your slap fight. Grow up already!
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
