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How to find the courage to go out in public bald
Ive had AA since I was 8 years old and this year I will be turning 24. Over the past few months I have become tired of covering my head all the time. The wigs are hot and at time uncomfortable. I do go out in my backyard without them and the wind and sun feels great on my head. My husband is completely supportive of me going outside bald and actually prefers me bald. My goal is to go out without anything on my head this summer, but deep down Im very afraid. So I guess my question is, how did you wake up one day and have the courage to out outside in public completely bald?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by joshua on
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Just do it. I found that the worst part of making that step is thinking about it. Once you get past that initial fear it gets a little easier each time.
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Permalink Reply by Sophie Woods on
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I don't go bald every day ( I very really go bald in public ) but I love it when we are on holidays in a place where we do not know any one . It's the only time I feel comfortable enough to be "Free" . The first time I did it I was on holidays. On the beach in Australia In the stinking hot summer and 38 weeks pregnant and I was in a foul mood and just went F&$k it . I have never felt so free I loved it ! I did get those stares like...... Oh that poor woman she has cancer and she is pregnant blah blah blah but I didn't care I felt so free and I had so much fun playing in the waves and not worry about my wig or if my hat where to falling off. Lol I can't wait for our next holiday xx
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Permalink Reply by Jo S on
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I totally understand where you are coming from with this. I have only had alopecia for 7 months and I'm too nervous to go outside in public bald. My husband is totally supportive he thinks I should bite the bullet and do it. We are in Australia and i did sit without my hat on for a few minutes on the beach on New Years day, that was brave enough for me. Sorry I can't give you any advice because I would love to tell you it's easy, perhaps when you do it you'll be able to encourage me.
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Permalink Reply by Janine on
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I can't speak from experience but as the mother of a 9 year old who has lost her hair completely for the last year.
Just be bold and be brave. Each day she has not worn ahead covering and I and many others admire her for it. She's just being herself in doing so. Others views however hurtful they can be are their views. We hope it gives her the strength to be who she is some special in our eyes. We are created differently and should be proudl of who we are. Your husband loves you as you are as do your family. Why should society make you feel different because of it. Xx
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Permalink Reply by alopeciamommy on
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As a fellow mother with an 8 year old daughter with alopecia, i totally agree with you. My daughter gave me the confidence in dealing with alopecia. :)
We are all unique in different ways, hair or no hair
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I am also the mother of an 8 year old who lost her hair 8 months ago. She is amazing and often goes without her hair. When she is amongst strangers she gets a few stares, but she is usually strong enough to give them a great big smile back - and that always works! There have been the occasional comments and they do hurt (both her and myself), but overall there has been far more positive reaction than negative.
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I'm with you that wigs can be hot and uncomfortable. This past summer I shaved my head and went about bald some of the time. I still usually wore a hat outside for sun protection though. What I still haven't done is gone bald around my usual set of acquaintances and friends. Depending on how my hair grows or doesn't, I might work up to that next year. It is a hard step though. The first time I went bald in public it was a hot summer day, and I had specific errands to do and no expectation of seeing people I knew. I agree that doing it was easier than thinking about it. Also, getting used to being uncovered at home made it feel more natural to be out and about that way. If going totally bald seems like too big a step, you can always wear a lightweight scarf instead of a wig. I have made no secret of my hair loss and wear hats or scarves that don't hide that I am missing hair but do avoid the "Hey, I'm bald!" look. In the end, just putting on some confidence and standing tall may be all it takes to get you over the initial fear. My mom took a couple of photos of me this summer with a bare head, and I love how happy I look in them, happy in my own skin.
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Permalink Reply by KLove890 on
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Thats what Ive worked up to is just wearing a light scarf when Im out and when I go to the gym, but a little piece of me still feels like Im hiding in a way. Dont get me wrong, I am comfortable with the way I look, Im just scared of the stares.
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Permalink Reply by loriann on
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I've had aa for almost 6 years and I haven't had the courage to be bald in public but I'm getting to the point were I'm just done with these wigs my husband and daughter are very supportive its me that's afraid but I need to just do it... It is what it is
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Thats my husbands motto for it " It is what it is" but it takes alot of courage to take the step to go out it public bald. I know that one day I will with my husbands support. We will conquer this one day.
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I totally understand your frustration, I remember being in 6 grade and dreading the windy days because all I truly had was a comb over. I completely lost all the hair I had 5yrs ago and just this past year Ive had the courage to go in my backyard bald and no care what my neighbors think. I know I will beat this one day soon but when I think about going outside without my scarf or wig I convince myself today its the day. One day I think Im just gonna throw all the wigs away and say the hell with it lol.
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Permalink Reply by Versida on
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Hello,
I completely understand how you feel and your fear is normal. I have had AA since I was 27 years old and I have experienced every emotion under the sun because of it. I shaved my head in 2008 and wigs became my best friend and probably somewhat of a crutch. I never contemplated going outside of my home without wearing something on my head until a few months ago. This past summer with the hot tempartures and starting to experience hot flashes I started thinking about it for the first time.
I just stop thinking about it...I suddenly realized that I had spent 22 years of my life being controlled by my hair or should I say lack of hair and in that moment I got a little pissed with myself for allowing it for so long. I stopped caring about it and I went outside. The first day was in back of my house to the garage then the next day it was to the market and a department store and I have not looked back.
I was afraid and excited at the same time, but the freedom I felt over-powered the fear. I don't consider it courageous, for me it was about no longer hiding who I am and no longer caring about the reaction of others. As India.Arie's song says "Just Do You" and that's exactly what I did...I just wish I would have done it sooner. KLove, you will get there...you're closer than you think.
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