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Is going bald really necessary?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Bonnie on
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Marie,
There are so many pictures of people with wigs on this site, and they all look fantastic. I did wear a wig and part of the process for me was moving to openly not wearing a wig. I'm glad you have expressed the other side, that you can accept your alopecia without uncovering your head. Everyone has to find their own way, and it is important for new alopecians to know that whatever path they find themselves on, there are people here who want to help them and who understand. When I share my story, it is not to say it is the only story or even the "right" story for the reader. It is simply the only hand I have to extend. By the way, your wig looks great on you.
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Permalink Reply by Dina on
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I love my wigs, and I don't find mine uncomfortable at all! I wear human hair wigs and no one would ever know they are wigs. I had hair for 30 years before this disease so for those who want to say it isn't natural to wear a wig I beg to differ. For me, I could NEVER go bald or would want to as I love hair - I give major kudos to the women who can with confidence and would never speak down to them and don't expect them to speak down to me.
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Permalink Reply by Joanne Washington on
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The way I see it: You did not have a say when it came to losing your hair, however, you do have a say in how you see yourself when you look in the mirror and how you present yourself to the world.
When it comes to hair loss or hair thinning, no one has to go without hair. You have choices, it does not matter whether it is a wig (designed for women with hair) hair system (designed specifically for women with no hair or thinning),hat or scarf. Chose whatever, helps you feel good about yourself and uplift your self esteem. Choosing to wear hair is a personal choice not a community choice. The choice to wear hair should be yours only. Feel good about it. Wear with pride. The same applies if you chose not to wear hair. It's personal
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Permalink Reply by Terry on
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Hi Marie,
I have had Alopecia Universalis since I was 50 and I also wear wigs. I have accepted the fact that I will most likely be bald for the rest of my life but when I read about other life changing maladies and hardships that people face I feel that having no hair is a minor thing. Choosing to wear wigs or go bald is a personal choice just as it is to wear makeup or not. I am fortunate to have a very good friend who also has Alopecia. She didn't loose all of her hair but would rather shave her head and go "topless", as she put it, than have patches of hair. She has a beautifully shaped head and looks great bald but she didn't judge me for wearing a wig. Thank you for speaking out.
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Permalink Reply by Schatten on
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As many other members have said, there's no unique path to acceptance. And it is not about accepting the state of our hair, but more about making peace with the fact that the condition is going to progress, "resolve" or stay a certain way... That it puts us in a special frame of mind where we cannot hang on to the future.
For the specific question about wigs, I really feel that you have to be at a stage of acceptance to be able to wear one. You know that your hair is not going to grow back anytime soon but heck, you still want to rock some hair over your scalp. :-)
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Permalink Reply by Marie on
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That is an interesting perspective: rather than seeing wigs as a form of denial or a sign of not really having accepted hair loss, you present the idea that embracing wigs actually demonstrates acceptance. Cool.
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It's not so much about what you're doing than why you're doing it.
For some alopecians, wearing a wig will feel like a burden, for some others, it will be a liberating experience. Everything comes down to the way you're considering it: as a necessity or a choice. When wearing a wig comes across as a choice you can make or not, i guess you've reached a satisfying level of acceptance. If you feel you have no other choice than wearing a wig, then you know you're still struggling with your self-image.
Of course those examples are the two ends of the spectrum, we all are actually somewhere in between choice and necessity.
As for why you're asking if wearing a wig is not considered « acceptance », well, I haven't been long enough on this website, but i've certainly noticed the (great!) pictures of bald women and the message « bald is beautiful » spreaded throughout, but it certainly doesn't mean that hair is not beautiful too, nor that wigs are for quitters. You don't have too feel pressured to shave your head or to venture bare-headed outside, because as many have said, it's all about how you're building your self-image and try to be happy with it. It's not what you do : it's about why you chose to do it.
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Permalink Reply by Lexi on
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Just thinking again about this thread....I had a thought just the other day. I don't know it any of you will agree with me. Some women are just strong personality types, and they have a lot of self confidence no matter what the situation. The kind of women that feel comfortable speaking in front of a group of people, and taking command of any situation. Some women also are not really "girlie girls". Maybe even were tomboys when young. I think for these women, going bald is fairly easy. And lets not forget the really pretty women with beautiful features, beautiful skin, a perfectly shaped head. They can just put on a pair of earrings, some eye makeup and lipstick and look perfectly fine, even without hair. Then there are the rest of us. I am such a girlie girl. Always have been. Feminine to a fault. But also, I am not and never have been some great beauty. My skin is not great by a long shot. My head, I can feel the dents in it. It would not be a pretty sight. It would be impossible for me to go out bald, if I were totally bald. I need HELP!! And I would not feel feminine at all. Gotta have hair. Also, gotta cover this misshapen noggin. I am not a strong personality type, and I have no self confidence in myself, never did. Just the way it is. I am soft spoken, and speaking in front of a group, even a small group, is something I just cannot do. I couldn't ever draw attention to myself in that way if I were bald. I am so very overly self-conscious. And with hair loss, my self esteem is really at rock bottom. I believe being able to go out in the world without hair takes a particular kind of person. There are a lot of them. I would never be able to be one. It is not about acceptance of what has happened, it is your personality type, and basic looks in general. If you are very pretty, you probably already are very confident in yourself, hair or no hair. If you are very confident in yourself, you feel at ease in almost any situation. Even lack of hair.
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Thats an interesting perspective, and probably true to a great extent. I do think that different personality types in part determine choices about how to deal with Alopecia. Thanks for you thoughts.
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