Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Is going bald really necessary?
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Marie on
-
Madison, Noriko, Mocha H. Women constantly stop me to find out who colors my hair.
-
Permalink Reply by Mary on
-
Marie - I can only speak for myself, but I think what I'm about to say is true for many of us who advocate for women who want to go out in public bald.
It's NOT about "true acceptance" of our Alopecia, or about wigs being wrong! Not at all. I applaud women who can wear wigs and I always try to make it clear that I support their choice. I'm genuinely happy that they work for you and for so many women. I tried for almost a year to wear a variety of wigs, and I just can't - I couldn't stand the heat and ended up breaking down and crying on many occasions because I was so terribly hot and uncomfortable.
Our advocacy of going out in public bald is in no way "biased" or "unfair". On the contrary, it's about equality for women with hair loss, plain and simple. My goal is for women with hair loss to have the SAME choices that men do - for them to feel as free to go out in public bald as men do these days. Men who lose their hair have the option of going out in public bald, or wearing a hairpiece or a hat. No one comes up to a bald man in public and asks about his chemotherapy. NO employer would tell a bald man that he should wear a hairpiece to work (as bald women are sometimes told).
Because so few women go out in public bald due to societal prejudices and assumptions, we who have decided to do so HAVE to support each other! We have to be strong, we have to advocate for each other and post blogs and photos and videos about it. Yes, it's about liberation, for women like me who don't want to wear wigs or simply can't wear them. This doesn't mean that we're saying there is anything wrong with preferring to wear a wig.
Due to my extreme physical discomfort in wigs (or any head covering most of the time), I HAD to accept myself as a hairless woman. I had to be able to look in the mirror and be comfortable with this "new me". My posting of videos and written comments is meant to encourage and support all those women who are like me.
I hope this helps.
-
-
Thanks for sharing! It helps me understand your perspective much better.
-
Permalink Reply by Kimberly on
-
I agree Marie....I have accepted my alopecia but I'm NOT going bald in public nor do I think I need to. It does not bother me that people know I have it. I sometimes even might joke about it. I think it's personal for each person. Do what feels best for you. I don't think there is something to prove. Just be yourself and live your life. :-)
I will say this, in the beginning I was very private with it. I have since been open, even doing an article in the newspaper about awareness in which they pictured me with a wig on and without my wig. That was a bold move for me, and proud of myself for doing it, but still not living publicly bald - don't want to. I also did the cardboard ministry in our church, walking out without my wig on, and on my cardboard it talked about me having alopecia and then I flipped it and it talked about God is bigger than any problem I have. I am so thankful alopecia is all I have. I am and have been a very blessed person and thankful to God for everything I have. He loves me and each one of us. God bless you!
-
Permalink Reply by msawesome on
-
Going bald is a personal choice. I chose to do so and this coincided with my father dying from cancer. I have done wigs looked great in them but just got tired of them. I now sport the bald head and it took me a while to do so. I do get the stares, I stand out in the crowd, and yes, I get the sympathy look and speech "are you sick" "so sorry" etc. The bottom line is that I have accepted ME and am grateful that I do have a choice and chose to go bald. One of the best things I have done in my life.
-
Permalink Reply by grandma concerns on
-
I agree, there are so many wonderful wigs being made now. My granddaughter can join just about any sports and not be afraid of them falling off. I also agree that there is a great stigma on here about accepting your baldness. Yes, to a point maybe you should, but there is also a time when it is embarrassing for an 11 yr old girl. She has had this for 4 yrs now and is still having trouble with baldness. We have some beautiful wigs, we have bought from ebay. They make her feel confident and that's what counts.
-
Permalink Reply by Vickibird on
-
Funnily enough, I know what you mean Marie. I started losing my hair at 41 in 2008, and over the following 2 years lost all my head hair including lashes and brows, and then slowly but surely, all the rest over my body too. Due partly to my relatively slow loss, at different times I have done clever cuts, dye-jobs, worn headwraps, scarves, and for the past year and a half, an off-the-peg and a custom-made wig, a HH wig and a synthetic one. I'd like to add that there are many practical considerations to going bald/wigs/scarves etc., as there are brow and lash solutions (tattoo/false lashes etc.)and the right combination of these will vary almost completely from person to person. It will depend not just on how they feel about their appearance, but on how much money they have to spend, how much time they have to spend in the mornings, the lifestyle they lead (kids? Young or older? No kids? Sports? Other health considerations? etc. etc. and so on). I found in the UK that I was permanently freezing going bare-headed, as well as (and sometimes on the same day) being prone to sunburn on my virgin scalp. Scarves took too long to match with what I was wearing. Tattooed brows solved the problem of accidentally wiping my 'brows' off, but dont stop the rain from streaming straight into my eyes, which as a contact-lens and false lash-wearer is another practical consideration. Add all these things together, and maybe you have a synopsis of the practicalities that will vary for each of those of us dealing with this condition, at differing stages. It is odd, but there is sometimes a vibe of 'going bald' being somehow better, more truthful and accepting, or having more integrity. Many people I have known since 2008 necessarily know about my alopecia: many of those have been utterly wonderful sources of support, love and strength. But some of them, had I had the choice, would not know about it. I also did not and do not feel comfortable with being a poster-girl for alopecia, and while I can see and admire those who are happy to discuss and explain it to non-sufferers at times not of their choosing, I found it intrusive to both me and my young children to have to deal with not just the condition, but others' reactions to it. I prefer to decide if, when, and how to mention it, and that is my personal preference. My particular approach gives me back some choices: something that this condition took away from me - and having tried so many ways of living with it, I prefer to use wigs and lashes and tattooed brows so my kids and I can cordially ignore it and get on with our lives. I am not waiting for the moment to be brave enough to go bald as I've already done it: I am happy to have found the way through this that works for me and my two little ones, and I would urge each and every one of us to keep searching for that: the way that suits us. Acceptance is always tricky: for me, it was the ability to peacefully hold within myself the contradiction of grief that it has happened with gratitude that it isn't something much, much worse. I've finally arrived, and I may change my mind in the future and go bareheaded, but I doubt it. Thankyou, while I am here, for the endlessly kind and supportive community here; your many experiences, your communal
wisdom and practical help have been a privilege to share. Much love going out to you all, Vx
-
-
I would have never done the cosmetic fixes I've done had my hair come back like it was supposed to after chemotherapy. Since it didn't, I have wigs, scarves and hats that I now actually enjoy wearing. I've had tatoos for eyeliner and brows and since I have puny little lashes here and there, I now wear lash extensions, and they are wonderful. I was wearing false lashes for a while but the extensions are great (more expensive tho).
I'm 66 years old and I'm not trying to look like I'm 20 or a beauty queen. I think I look like a 66 year old woman who still cares about how she looks. I've always cared and always tried to look nice. I was fine being bald during chemo but always wore a hat or scarf and they complimented whatever I was wearing. Part of getting dressed, not part of hiding or being ashamed. Some of my wigs are gray, because I had let my hair go natural before it all fell out, but lately I've been wearing ones the color I used to color my hair. Yesterday I came across a photo taken approx 6 years ago of my granddaughter brushing my real hair. It was good hair, doggone it! And I don't think I look good bald.
All that being said, I am perfectly ok for people to know that I don't have hair. I am not ashamed about it at all (that took some time). When I wear a hat, I think it's pretty obvious I don't have hair because I keep what I have buzzed pretty close. I go to the gym with a hat or exercise scarf and I run around the house bare headed most of the time (except winter). If someone I know comes over they've all seen me bald and at my bff's house I'm often topless. I'm topless a lot of the time. Just not in public, Wigs do get uncomfortable. Maybe if I was younger, I would sport the bald head and big earring look, but as a "mature woman" that just doesn't work for me anymore than shopping in the junior section.
-
Permalink Reply by fijifrangipani on
-
it is quite personal as to how each of us cope with alopecia, I would suggest it isnt so much that those who don't wear wigs are better off, more accepting or completed a journey, but that the freedom you experience is quite exhilirating as it is a big step to take, and therefore we are more inclined to loudly say how fabulous we feel. Friends who had never seen me without what one girlfriend saw as perfect hair, suddenly saw me with none for the very first time although I had alopecia, trust me it is very scarey to go there. I personally dont see it as one is better than the other, I wore wigs for longer than I have been bald. I do advocate against steroidal use and other topical treatments though, as I don't think they offer a solution yet, just more a false hope. That is the pont at which I think acceptance comes in.
-
Permalink Reply by Eric Heffner on
-
To me that you are at peace with It , I can only speek for myself, but Is that not what we are all are shooting for, weather going out with wig's or bald, It's the acceptance that speek's volume's, I wish In a man's world hair piece's were more excpted, maybe some day, because I would wear them I would love to have my hair back and If wig's would fill the void I would be all about It , thank you for a great post, If there are a spelling errors, I plame It on the wine :) Heff
-
Permalink Reply by Ericka on
-
Hi all, I agree it is the power of choice!! I have had hairloss for 20 + years, I've tried weaves , wigs, scarves, etc., all of which made me feel extremely self conscious. I constantly felt like I was hiding, or lying about who I was. A year ago I decided to go bald, for me it has been most liberating. I feel like I'm no longer hiding and wondering if people know that I'm bald under my wig, or scared if the wind blows too hard that my wig might fall off. Now, I know people are staring because I'm bald but I welcome questions, because on most days the questions come from other women who are trying to navigate this issue themselves. But at the end of the day what makes you feel good about you!!!! Wig, no wig , scarf no scarf, make up, no make up, at the end of the day I learned that I need to be comfortable in my own skin. I'm 44 and single and more confident then I've ever been. But still a work in progress.
-
-
This is my first post. Hard topic. It's such a personal choice. I also think it depends on your age and when you lost your hair. My daughter has been bald since she was 3, now 24 she wears beautiful wigs and I can't see that changing, but you never know. I have had AA for a number of years, tried the steroid injections, works for awhile, then patches start falling out again. Now my brush is full everyday and I'm at about 45% loss, still have enough for a ponytail. It's not that noticeable yet. Just trying to plan my next move. Leave it go, go back for injections (probably not, they hurt, and are temporary), wear a hat. Not sure. Time will tell.
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
