Is there love after alopecia totalis?

I have been married for 34 years & I'm separated from my husband. I believe he's unable to get past my appearance. I'm contemplating divorce. He never tells me that I'm attractive. I never thought that being an alopecian would ruin a marriage of 34 years. At this time in my life I am happy and I am in tune with myself. What I want to know is this, "Are there men out there that can get past the hair phobia and give unconditional love? ". Am I asking for too much?
Sweetly free

Views: 1723

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by leah on September 10, 2014 at 9:14pm
:) SweetlyFree! Yea she said one guy even said her being g bald turned him on!! Sorry if tmi. Lol... Your picture shows your beauty. He sounds like kinda a jerk and sure you'll find better. Know and dont totally how hard divorce is. Sending a hug. Know you are not alone and are as deserving of love as everyone else. Plus I feel like when value ourselves cab easier to attract someone else to same! I've been nervous bout trying online dating and if should mention hair loss on profile. But gonna be bold. Hope are encouraged and never stop smiling! Thx and take care
Permalink Reply by HippieSpellan on September 10, 2014 at 1:42pm

There are absolutely people that will love you without your hair. My current boyfriend really doesnt mind it, he finds it funny that I can have different hair if I like, and the plus side is that he never gets hair in his mouth when we spoon, so we do that more often. He has said that he feels the look from others is a bit hard to handle for him, cause he notice it more than me. 

I can understand your husbands standpoint aswell, though I think he should be vocal about it with you, maybe you can see a couples therapist together and see if there is something you can work on or if it gets that far, to get help with a divorce that wont be nasty.

Permalink Reply by SweetlyFree on September 10, 2014 at 10:06pm

I have hope that the love, support and commitment that I desire are in view of my future. I feel free not having to please my estranged husband with hair or no hair. I asked him if he would accompany me to see a marriage therapist. He declined with an attitude of denial.  I am open to start a relationship after divorce.

It seems so awkward thinking of dating.

Thanks HippieSpellan.  

Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on September 10, 2014 at 1:52pm

Hi SweetlyFree, I met my husband without hair.  I think it has more to do with the character of the man (or woman).   My alopecia has never been an issue within our relationship.    Personally I believe that love is always conditional.  My condition was that my husband accepts and loves all of me.  

You may find the discussions and content in the Men Who Don't Mind Group interesting:

http://www.alopeciaworld.com/group/menwhodontmind

Permalink Reply by SweetlyFree on September 11, 2014 at 9:44am

What a wonderful bond between you and your Man. I am happy for you. Thank you for welcoming with an eye opening WORD. I really appreciate it.

Permalink Reply by cmp1706 on September 10, 2014 at 1:57pm
I've been with my husband for 10 years now. I told him about my alopecia a week after dating. I've lost almost every hair on my body and he still calls me beautiful so to answer your questions .. yes there are men out there that can and do look beyond physical appearance and can love you for you! You are by NO means asking for too much. Everyone deserves to be loved deeply and sincerely. Wishing you all the best.
Permalink Reply by gerald on September 12, 2014 at 5:49am

Of course there are many men that find beautiful bald women attractive.

I married a beautiful bald alopecia woman with AU. She is very beautiful wearing her bald look, especially dolled up with her makeup on, and a pair of dangle earrings to compliment her look, wearing a sexy dress or skirt and blouse.

She wears wigs and headscarves, especially headscarves which look fantastic on her, she ties her headscarves very fashionably. In her everyday life she wears headscarves.

However she also sometimes dolls herself up and wears the bald look with her makeup, earrings, with a sexy dress, when I take her out to a nightclub.

Many men like a bald look on a beautiful and feminine woman,

You can really see a woman's feminine features with a bald head, short hair or a shaved head.

These days many women fashion models and female rock stars shave their head and wear the bald look.

Some ladies who are fashion models are beautul and bald with alopecia (women like Laura Hudson and Anna Fitzpatrick who write on this website).

The bald look on women is a fashion style these days.

Your bald look can be a fashion style. Doll yourself up with it, and have it work to you.

Permalink Reply by gerald on September 12, 2014 at 6:02am
Bald women can look beautiful with headscarves as well, as well as wearing a wig or wearing their bald look. Being bald gives you fashion options. Have it work for you.
My beautiful alopecia wife wears both the bald look and headscarves. And she can tie her headscarves in various lovely ways.
I love the bald look and lovely and fashionable headscarves on beautiful women. Both the bald look and lovely headscarves can be fashionable on a beautiful feminine lady. Both of those looks on lovely fashionable women are a fashion style.
Permalink Reply by BarbaraK on October 12, 2014 at 6:48pm

SweetlyFree,

I don't see why not. Your a pretty lady. Have you looked into the Smooth and Single group on here. I am newly diagnosed with Alopecia Areata. I am sure there is a man that would love to be with you and get to know you. Would you ever consider dating a man with Alopecia.

Permalink Reply by SweetlyFree on October 12, 2014 at 9:43pm

Thank your the compliment.  I love being free most of the time from wigs, scarves, caps and hats.  I would love to date a man with Alopecia Universalis/Totalis.  Thank you Barbara! I heading over to Smooth and Single. 

Bless you !

Permalink Reply by Andrey on October 18, 2014 at 12:26am

No. But you are a woman so you have a good chance. If you were a man I would say game over.

Permalink Reply by SweetlyFree on October 18, 2014 at 3:14pm

Thank you Andrey for your perspective. 

RSS

Disclaimer

Any mention of products and services on Alopecia World is for informational purposes only; it does not imply a recommendation or endorsement by Alopecia World. Nor should any statement or representation on this site be construed as professional, medical or expert advice, or as pre-screened or endorsed by Alopecia World. Alopecia World is not responsible or liable for any of the views, opinions or conduct, online or offline, of any user or member of Alopecia World.

© 2024   Created by Alopecia World.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service