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Mentally and emotionally a wreck
hi, my names tiaira im 16 and im a 10th grader in high school. i've recently found out that i have alopecia a few days ago and i don't even know where to go from here? everyone tells me it will be okay but i don't see it that way no one really understands? at school people look at me very different and treat me as if im dying or something, i've never had to face anything like this in my life. Any advice would be great!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tiaira Hall on
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I actually am i go 2 da hs wby?
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Permalink Reply by Khetsa on
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I went through my first serious round of alopecia at roughly the same age, so I know exactly where you're coming from. It's ok to be confused/frustrated/to feel isolated. I know I did.
Any time is a shitty time to lose your hair, but especially at the age where everyone seems to be obsessed with how they look (whether they're conscious of it or not).
The advice I'd give in the mean time would be to try and get hold of a decent wig, keep your head held high, and in time people will stop caring about it. The hype will die down, just give it time. And be prepared to get some negative reactions from people :/
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Thanks:))
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Permalink Reply by Jordan on
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You just have to try and embrace it. Just because you have no hair or have a bruise or one leg your still who you are nothing will change that. I lost all my hair within 2 months it was very sudden and unexpected. It's hard at first but you learn to move past it. For me I make jokes like "if you shave in my sink you better clean up cause if I find any hair I damn sure know it's not mine" :)
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Do not give up hope!!! I had AA at 16 after having mono! it did grow back. Even it doesn't remember that the more open you are with people they will be willing to listen. Smiling and being friendly will help them to deal with their own issues. The reason they react this way is because THEY are afraid. Stay open and positive and you will kill the negativity. Why did this happen to you are anyone? We just don't know. I have lived through it, and now am a teacher. I have gone to school with bald spots, and just tell my students, I am OK, and you can't catch it. You can't control how the kids will react, only how you react. I am not saying it is easy, but you choose how you express yourself. Counseling helps, it really does!!!!
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Thanks alot i think im going to seriously take taking to a professional into consideration
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Permalink Reply by Surraugeny Sanders on
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High School SUCKS! At least my high school years did. People are mean, cliquish and self-absorbed and do whatever they can to make you feel inadequate. After your self-esteem has been beaten down to a pulp, you graduate and realize the real world is quite different. Your biggest problems become irrelevant, and your character is fully developed based off of your k-12 experiences. I say all of that to say this: Don't let this experience change you to be mean and bitter, timid, easy or rebellious. Not sure on the maturity level of the people you go to school with but when I had it, my teacher taught the class about my condition so they would stop teasing me. After that, people stopped running away from me thinking I was contagious. After you cry it out, because I know we all have to cry it out, pick yourself back up and commit to being the best you. Don't forget to pray about it. Proverb 3:5-6 says; :Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path." Who knows, you could probably be an activist for this cause and other causes. If you want to go the route and wear a wig, then do so proudly. If you want to be bold and shave it all off, make them feel like you meant to do it and you are the most beautiful thing in the world for going there. Forgive me if my advice is a bit too blunt but please know, it comes from a really good place. I'll be praying for you because I know it's a harsh reality to live with this a cruel world we live in. In a general sense, when you are really low, change your perspective. The dreaded view of "it's only hair" can sometimes get you through....sometimes... even if you have to fake it. The blessing is, you found a great network of people to keep you lifted. Make sure you don't allow anyone to bring you down because of this. I hope this helps.
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Permalink Reply by Bex Weller on
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Tiaria, you are amazing & strong!!!!
The fact that u have aknowledged ur issues is sooo fsar beyond my level of coping at ur age!!
I first lost half an eyebrow at the age of 12, & it progressed pretty rapidly by the time Iws 16 half my hair was gone!! I had alot of hats n bandanas to cover up, & I had some disastrous wigs!! Thank god for u the selection & range of wgs these days is soooo much better!!!
My advice is just be honest with urself!! It's not easy!!!! But I can honestly say it gets soooo much easier with age!! I imagine for u right now life sucks!! But this will help u find out who ur true friends are!! They will support u n stick by u no matter what!! Who cares what strangers think!!! The are not important!! people will stare, some will quickly assume ur dying ofcancer or some other illness. But Alopecia is no life threatening!!! So embrace that fact, that even though u may not have all ur hair u still have ur health!!! (if u dont I horribly applogise n hope ur well soon!)
Hold ur head up high, find a way of aking urself feelbeautiful!! & keep talking to people n ask for help!!! There are alot of us out there!! Gosh I'm down in lil ole New Zealand!!!
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Thank you so much that means alot to me
Much luv
MzT
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Permalink Reply by bree on
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Hi Tiara,my name is bridget,im 27 yrs old.i know exactly how u feel,if i can still remember -i was only 15 on high school when my hair started to fall out,i never knew what it was,i always thort it was of the relaxes and so-i neve took note until more and more hair dissapeard,when i walkd or traveld by public transport,ppl would often luk at me and sumtimes ask me if i have cancer-i once thort of even taking my own life,but i thort for myself that i have kids that needs a mother-i aalso have vitiligo,but u know what-i made peace wth the fact that i suffer from my disorders,one thing i can tell u is,even with alopecia and vitiligo-i gave my worries and the stress i have to JESUS,HE IS TRU HEALER,i once luked at the mirror and sobbed bcaus for a woman her hair and so her pigment is important,but i know that even if others wane treat me different because of what i have-the is one person wu even gave his own life up for me becaus of the love he have,b strong swti-i hope that ur alopecia dont get worse-and i also pray that sumtime a cure would be found......much love-BREE
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Hello Tiaira,
My son is also 16 years old and has had Alopecia since he was 5 years old and it was always patchy until he started high school and then it all came out, I have some advise, we called the Hair Club and they have Hair Club for kids and it is amazing, I am not sure where you live, but they have them all through the states, it is a non-profit organization, so they actually cover the cost until your 18. The best part is that it is real hair and looks so natural, you can swim, shower, play sports.
Please let me know if you have any questions.
Thank you,
Cathy Bay
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