Alopecia World
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My husband
I have spent the past few nights reading about different lives which have been affected by alopecia. Id like to take a minute to recognize all who have shared their stories. Thank you for your courage! Your words bring wisdom, inspiration and understanding to all affected by alopecia.
That said, i would like to share my story. I do not have alopecia. It is my husband who has lost his hair. About 6 months after the birth of our beautiful baby girl, he started getting spots. 6 weeks later he lost all of his hair. A month later...all hair was gone. Ive watched my confident, strong and fun loving husband withdrawl from life. Ive seen such a change in him. He is riddled with self doubt, worry and anger. I do all that i can to listen to him. Try to understand his pain. Try to help him see that our baby girl and i love him with or without hair. Hair doesnt make a man. He is a wonderful dad and husband with so much to offer the world; i fear he is missing out on so much that is still good. We are blessed in so many ways. I know that i dont feel near the pain and loss as he has experienced. I accept that i cant solve this for him. I block out this helpless feeling, as i know i need to be his cheerleader. My hope for him, and for all affected, is to find his self worth and happiness again.
I welcome any feedback to those who would like to share...what has helped you? What can i do to support my husband? How can i better understand alopecia and all that he is experiwncing?
Thank you so kindly for your time, advice and support. I hope to be able to offer the same, in return.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Alliegator on
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Hi,
You sound like a wonderful, supportive wife! Just joining this site shows that you are very supportive of him. I'm sorry to hear what he is experiencing. He will have to go through the stages of grief. It may sound silly, but going through those stages can help. What has helped me... joining this site and others like it. Seeing others stories, and realizing that I am not alone helped me a lot. The best thing you can do to support him is listen. It is hard to find people who will truly listen when you are upset about the hair loss. If he could find another male who has had hair loss like him, I think that would help. Try to give him time. I always say to take baby steps. If he can find a friend who would listen & be supportive, that would help as well. I found a few friends in my life who really listened. Also, try to not make him feel like his feelings aren't justified. That was the worst part for me was when family members made me feel like I shouldn't feel how I felt. Hope that helps.
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Permalink Reply by Silk on
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Hi,
I wish my partner would care about my hair loss as you do for your husband. You are indeed a wonderful family now having a little one. It would be good for all of you to find a way of living with the issue. One suggestion could be, as Alligator mentioned before, to get closely engaged with alopecia community, at least for some time. Do you think your husband will find helpful joying this site (or some other similar) himself or mb some local support group if there is any i your area? It is less often that men turn to external support, but it works. He could get out of (self)isolation and see that alopecia is something that one can live with and be happy again. So, what I mean is let him take responsibility for management of emotional condition, to become more active and thus empovered.
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