Alopecia World
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Need a confidence boost!
Hi! I just recently discovered and joined this site.
I am so glad to have an opportunity to meet and chat with others who have alopecia! I have never met anyone else with it so it's hard for others to understand what it's like. Makes me feel a little alone at times! It's a slow process to accept this change. It has been 6 years, and I'm still struggling at times. I've only recently become slightly comfortable with it, but it's still hard for me to tell people who don't know about it. It's funny how people can't even tell I'm wearing a wig though! I'm mostly struggling with telling new people that come into my life. I'm not so sure how to approach it, I guess. If anyone has some advice to help me boost my confidence and how to tell people about it, it would be greatly appreciated.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Deeann on
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I remember meeting someone with alopecia for the first time 5 years ago. It was amazing. At that point, I had worn a wig for a couple years, and struggled with telling people. I really thought people didn't know, but I was always self-conscious.
It is a very private thing, and telling others makes us more vulnerable. I just say tell who you want to tell, and not people who you don't really care too much about. Not everybody needs to know. It gets easier the more you say it though. It just becomes more natural. Your confidence will improve at the same time. It becomes less of something you're hiding, and more like you're sharing.
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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I felt immediately better after meeting other alopecians for the first time...about 25 years after being diagnosed! Check at www.naaf.org to find support groups or phone contacts in your area.
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Permalink Reply by wendizzle on
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I've had AU for almost four years now. I have lots of ups and downs in terms of self-confidence. Finding the right look was important for me. I am uncomfortable in wigs but not bold enough to go bald. I found lots of great scarves that hang down long so I feel like I have something long I can toss around in a feminine flourish! Haha. Then of course I had to actually start wearing make up and big earrings, and actually caring about my wardrobe. Highlighting my eyes has helped my feel confident, like if my eyes can attract people then they won't notice the hair so much.
I am a teacher, and at the beginning of every new semester (I teach ESL at a university) I try to have a conversation about my alopecia, just so I know my students aren't asking questions about me. I wear scarves in class so for me to be confident up in front of everyone I need them to know I'm not sick.
In my neighborhood in Chicago, funky scarves with big earrings are actually "in", so in a surprising twist my alopecia has made me more confident than when I used to be a wallflower with plain hair, if that makes sense.
When you meet new people I think Deeann is right in saying that you should have discernment about who to tell and who not to. Also I think you need to play up the parts of you, physical or personality-wise, that you feel are strengths. It's true that a lot of times people don't notice anything until we call their attention to whatever it is we are insecure about. :)
Wendy
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