Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Pam D. on June 4, 2015 at 10:36am

I feel compelled to say something because no one else has. This condition is different for everyone and we all seem to have different levels of acceptance. My hair comes and goes (now it's gone). My hair not come back, but if it does I have to face the reality it is going to fall out again. I'm happy for the times I have my hair, but the worry as to when it's going to fall out, how much will fall out, and if it will grow back or not is stressful; sometimes I just want it to either go or come back, but stop playing w/me. Reading the posts here I've come across people (like me) who have accepted the condition and just continue to live their lives, to people who want to hide in their homes, and everything in-between. I admire those who can go out in public "naked"; I'm not there and not sure I ever will be, but I am comfortable going out with just a hat or a scarf knowing I look bald. My husband has been great, but we've were married 30 years before I lost my hair. Sometimes he says something he thinks is cute or funny, but while I don't mind joking about the condition, but I don't like it if others do. I have been very, very, open about the condition with my family and friends and have even talked about it with complete strangers (when I wear a hat, people think I have cancer) since I feel education and public knowledge is a good thing. I think the first step is accepting that this might be your life moving forward and changing nothing in how you live your life. I have found people to be very kind and accepting; I don't let "looks" bother me because I know people are naturally curious (I know I am and might be guilty of a "look" or two now and then). I've just realized it's the adults who might say something, but children, who notoriously speak their minds, have never said a word to me. I feel being as open as I can about this condition can only help others who have it. BTW, your husband should love you no matter what.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Hopehopper on June 4, 2015 at 5:52pm

Hey! I am sorry that you are going through this. I am 29 and just found out I have the early stages of AGA. My whole world has seemed to go upside down within these last 5 months. I can only say that even though its hard, try not to let this news disrupt your life with your family. I am going to start counseling myself bc this has consumed my mind and I want to feel somewhat better. When I first found out which was about 3 weeks ago through a scalp biopsy, I cried everyday all day it seemed like. It seems like everyday gets a little better. Plus, I am so happy to have found this site. I have started acupuncture to try and help with the depression that seems to attach itself along with the AGA. I have many things to be grateful for, I have a beautiful family as you probably do to. I hope you have a considerate and understanding husband. I am soon to get extensions to see if it will help with my volume and cover my balding spot on my crown. I know we as women are strong and this dark season shall pass, hopefully!! Feel free to message me anytime. 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Dragongirl on June 4, 2015 at 5:59pm

Thank you both for you supportive messages. To Hopehopper: DON'T get extensions! I only hear bad things from women who went down that route where they lost more hair!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by pippinsgirl on June 12, 2015 at 6:22pm

I am new too, so message me any time! My guy is having a hard time with this too because he also loved my hair. It is stressful that way because it can reinforce feeling bad about your image if they say the wrong thing. If a partner leaves because of this, then they are a scumbag. Go on to read other stories though and you will find as many or more stories of great men (and women) who stick by their partners and even though they are sad, they are supportive. 

But on a more positive note, head shaving. In my case, the decision to shave my head was easy in a way. I got tired of trying to hide the spots (alopecia areata) because I felt that I'd gotten to the point where I looked worse with hair than I would if I was bald. You do not have to shave your head if you don't want to. As you know, we do not choose this, but we can choose how we handle it. Some like to keep their hair as long as possible and let it fall naturally, others choose when they will no longer have hair and make the decision to shave it. Both exercise choice, which actually does help. It is very hard to watch this happen and you have every right to grieve, but there are things that can make the process easier, and you've already done one of them by joining this site and seeking support. Keep on caring for yourself and you will get through this. Best wishes!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Joy on June 20, 2015 at 3:08am

I signed in for the same reason...

Thank u for sharing your story,im 16 yrs old & as a little girl I bearly had an hairline till this day,my mom has suffered frm androgenetic alopecia for years,she keeps her head shaved at all times and wears wigs everyday.Even though my condition isn't as bad as alopecia victims,at school i get laughed at bcz theres a huge amount of hair missing on my hairline especially on the right.Im afraid it will worsen as I grow older,my aunt is going thru the same thing and shes loosing ALOT of hair in the middle,she doesn't want to get medical help & doesn't shave the rest of her long beautiful african hair,she jst wears a wig over her it.Your husband surely loves you that's y his your husband,when u cum across that stage im sure he'll understand & u can wear wigs here & there

• ▶ Reply