Not coping...thought I was :(

hello all, hoping for some inspiration here.........been losing my hair since my birthday(oct 13th) due to work stress and bullying by manager!!!!!

been on sick for 2 months but i need to go back (skint).........lost loads of my hair and am now on dermavate for the irritation, have a wig but cannot wear it, can only wear a scarf, hat, bandana for a very short time as the heat causes more irritation....at 57 i am certainly no Gail Porter and it's damn cold in Wales :(

so what can i do? stay in over christmas? the same as i have the last 2 months? just so frustrated with all this.....derm says i have just over 50% chance of it growing back in the next 2 years (i know there are others worse off than me) but i just want a life of some kind now rather in 2 years time...with all this stress i may not even be here that long :(

can cope with the hair loss, i think, but what can i do with the heat issue?????

or do i spend christmas with the telly for company?

sorry for the rant but......don't know what to do next xx

 

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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on December 28, 2010 at 2:26am
Have you joined all the UK groups on this site, and on other UK alopecia sites? Also see www.naaf.org
for ideas. See if you can find a local pal to share this journey. You can always chat here on NY Eve...someone ought to be awake!

Alo Vera is from a cactus, and works within 24 hours to heal burns, but I don't know if it would help burning hair-loss-scalp. Also, I have used Domeboro for past irritations (soak washcloth compress in it, then hold to itchy area). Google these things to see if they have them in your country.

Most dermotologists are going to suggest the shots in the scalp, prednisone pills or cortesone, all temporary as long as you continue them, all usually not paid for by insurance, all with possible side effects. That's why I just gave in, gave up, and went to scarves and wigs.
Permalink Reply by susan williams on December 28, 2010 at 6:52pm
hi Tallgirl, i am sure i will be here NYE to party lol.....will try alo vera and thank you :)
Permalink Reply by Norm on December 28, 2010 at 8:04am
Sooz, it seems like you're caught between two seemingly incompatible situations - you'd like to go out and have A Life, but think your looks/lack of hair mitigate against that.... so you've got a wig/scarf etc. to cover up, but you can't wear them because of the pain/burning. Therefore, as I see it, the solution is to stop worrying about the stuff you can't do anything about, and alter or deal with the things you can, yeah?

Stuff you can't change is your hair loss and the itching. Stuff you CAN have an effect on is your self-image and self-esteem.
I know it's only been a couple of months since you started with the AA, and you're still in that state where it's got you totally wrong-footed. And you're probably still looking in the mirror and wondering "is that really me?" and "how did this happen? What did I do to get here? How do I get back?" But the fact remains, we're all where we are in life. Crap happens to everyone.
In your case, you've got to balance your desire to live a normal life against your fear of what others think. And at some point the urge for normality will win.... if you can't wear scarves or wigs, just get out there as you are. Be Teflon Sue, let everything slide on past you. Does it really matter that you've lost some of your hair? Does it change who you are? Well, actually, yes it does - it makes you stronger. You CAN do this, y'know. You must have some pals you can go out with au naturel and have a good time and not give a toss. Whereabouts in Wales are you? If it's the south, Cardiff and Swansea must be more cosmopolitan than the smaller towns and a bald gal will be hardly noticeable there. If you're in the north, mosey on over for a night out in Liverpool and stay over.
As part of the change to the New You, you could jump in with both feet and do what many others on here have done, and shave off what's left and embrace a new chapter in your life. It's up to you... but you have to do SOMETHING. Staying still isn't an option, really, is it?

Still, just think, it could be worse - you could be English!! :)
Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on December 28, 2010 at 4:50pm
Perfect idea: Go keep Norm company on New Year's Eve! He's a good confidante and best friend to many alopecians! You have the invitation above! :)
Permalink Reply by susan williams on December 28, 2010 at 7:06pm
well, i have goodish news, well sort of.....my daughter bought me something called a 'bandarf' made by JML, it's like a seamless tube sort of thing made of a breathable fabric, very light and different colours it can be made into a lot of different things like a bandana, hood etc .....

i managed to keep it on for 2 hours without scratching too much, which was so much better than a hat and so much lighter......(going to buy some more tomorrow)

so combined with steroid cream and that at least i may get out a little...starting to feel a little more positive.....not ready for NYE yet but i can have a few lagers while on here amongst friends!!!!

this thing is NOT going to beat me.....thanks everyone and Norm you are a star, and so very wise and for that i especially thank you :)

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