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Questions, questions, questions!
Hi All, I have an 18 yr old daughter with AU, she has had Alopecia for 3 yrs now. her hair from day one, started out with patches, then after about 4 months just fell out, but she has always had some sort of regrowth, various stages...we started shaving her head, she has a freedom wig...in October 2012 I was very sick for some months, so her head didn't get shaved...we have let it go, and it is now getting to a length that she could go without her beanie, but she prefers to wear them 24/7 she has patches still - but her eyebrows are growing in (first time in the 3+ years) not sure about her lashes..one question I have is how does one help her through the emotional roller coaster that she goes through... she is having to look at part time work, and is very unsure about this - will they let her wear her beanie/hat ? She is having to get photo id and that also is a problem... she doesn't want to shave her head, she gets those red painful bumps when she does, and is happy to see how far her hair will go this time... but doesn't want to meet anyone who doesn't know about her hair, and feels very wary having to explain her condition, or how the workplace people will treat her! As a parent I think it is one of the hardest things to go through, watching your teen go through this, yet there is no cure, I have spent hours in tears for her, feeling hopeless and lost, that I can't help her! So one has to pick themselves up, and face the day, trying with a smile...often we just don't think about it, as that is easier....but sometimes the easy way may not always be the best way to do things!
Questions:
* Can one get photo id if they wear a hat? Unsure if her hair will look ok for photo. She wants a nice pic.
* Does the workplace allow folks to wear hats/beanies to work?
* Do you need a medical certificate to prove you have a condition, requiring a hat 24/7?
* Any tips on how to encourage her into the workplace, pretty scary place, just thinking about it.
* Getting a license - do you have to get exemption from Ministry of Affairs to be able to wear a hat for photo? And does it say on license that you have Alopecia?
Appreciate any thoughts - Have a great day!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by michelle on
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Hi
First off I think it take a tremendous amount of courage to support a child through any chronic medical condition, which AA is. I don't have any children. I was diagnosed with AU about 3 years ago (I'm 51). In terms of how you cope in supporting her, I do think your daughter will take her cues from you. I think the more you are able to accept that AA does not define your daughter the more she will be able to accept it.
In terms of your other questions, I'm not sure where you live. I live in Mississauga (Toronto), Ontario, Canada. I was not able to get a driver's licence photo with a hat. (and at that point about a year ago I wasn't going bald or wearing a wig). Ministry of transportation used an old photo and issued me a non photo medical licence. The next pic will have to be bald or with a wig.
In terms of a work place...I don't have a sense how much is your anxiety and how much is hers. It sounds like she is doing a pretty good job in figuring some of this out. I see her taking some control in whether she grows out her hair/vs shaving. Let her decided what her comfort level is in terms of interviews...focusing on skill and presenting in a professional manner which is more attitude then anything. Where a cap if thats what she is comfortable with. She also gets to decide what job is right for her.
FYI...I am a clinical social worker with many years experience working with teens ;)
Good luck.
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