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Straw that broke the camel's back
I have atopic dermatitis, asthma and for the last 3 years Alopecia Universalis. It has been a struggle and I was doing okaye. Then last week I developed shingles on my forehead. Well it really was the last straw. Especially since they put me on Valtrex and one of the side effects was depression. I've struggled with depression all my life and have episodes. Well, now here goes another one. Fact is, I should be back at work but I have been crying so much that I am worried if I go back I'll start crying at work. I was at the doctor and he wanted to put me in the hospital but I was in the hospital 1 1/2 years ago. It was a horrible experience because in the psych unit...their are not real mirrors so you can't put on makeup and it was hard to tell if the wig was straight so I really looked like a nut case....wig was lopsided, no makeup....I looked horrible. Anyway here I am I don't know what to do...My friends of many years abandoned me which I am sure is my fault...not sure if it is because I am so depressed, needy or what. So I need some support and advice. Should I try to go on disability? Think I would get it?
For the depression? I can't get any treatment for the alopecia because the insurance company won't pay they say it is cosmetic. Give me a break. So sorry I have to vent this to you but I have no one else to turn to. Thank you for listening.l
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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My strategy is to do a blitz on myself in MORE THAN ONE category at the same time: wardrobe, nails, make-up, wig, new class, new friends, new coffee shop, join a new club, subscribe to a magazine, redecorate, etc. New music for the car to sing to. Flowers, new perfume. It is like becoming my OWN best friend or date! Ha! And all the changes are ones I like! Try it. It can put a smile on your face and confuse the heck out of everyone else.
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Permalink Reply by Turtlduv on
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Thank you Tallgirl, I am working on your suggestions and feeling better. "Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning." Psalm 30:5
Blessings and Love.
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Hi Tallgirl and Turtlduv
I love your idea and think they will help.
I understand how you may be feeling but from a slightly different angle. I am fortunate that I have not struggled with depression in my life, but I have and continue to find the illnesses my daughter has challenging (to say the least). She deals with similar issues as you do...
My daughter lost her hair at 12 she is currently AU, from a baby she has dealt with medium to severe eczema, she has anaphylactic food allergies, she has medium to severe asthma and just last month she was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. All these things have impacted on her young life and of course our whole family.
At times I can see that my daughter has to work very hard at everyday life...which I'm sure is the same for you. The discomfort you both are dealing with is difficult to manage, but it does need to be managed. You are not alone with the things you are stuggling with, and I hope it helps to know that.
On those bad days where everything is getting at my daughter we take a time-out and pretty much do some of what Tallgirl has suggested. We can't change these horrible chronic conditions we can only change our attitude around them. We do our best to focus on the positives in her life, for her there are many. She is 22 years old, is loved by her friends and family, she has just begun a career in teaching, she has a mind and ability to pass on love and care to others...life is ok.
Love is an enormous healer and I think knowing that you are worthy of it is imperative to a healthy life...if your depression is making you feel isolated (I think you need to seek professional help...someone that actually understands your needs and your challenges). If what you are dealing with is becoming extremely overwhelming and isolating please seek help.
Have you a close friend that you can meet with and just catch up...sometimes moving away from your troubles can be theraputic and give you that breathing space to find your way.
I hope this helps and I hope you no longer feel alone...because you aren't.
Rosy
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Rosy, That was so beautiful and moving. Thank you. I am so happy that your daughter has support and is beginning her Teaching career. She will make a difference because of what she has gone through, she has a heart of compassion (which evidently came from you) and that will come through in her teaching.
I am feeling better. The depression was intensified as a side effect of the Valtrex. I am on an antidepressant now and have an appointment with a psychiatrist. All in all, I am better. I am sad that I had to vent that day because I didn't want to burden anyone with mine. Everyone goes through many trials and tribulations.
Rosy, you are so blessed with a heart of gold and I pray that God continues to bless you and especially your daughter.
With Love and gratitude,
Turtlduv
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