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Telling boyfriend about my Alopecia
Hello!
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 months now and I am still struggling with telling him about my alopecia (I know, it's been quite a while).
With hair products I can hide my condition pretty well, and it's almost unnoticeable.
Over the past year I've noticed it progressing at a relatively faster pace and recently it's become harder and harder to deal with and come to terms with it - which is something that I've hoped to do before telling him. I have told him I have a medical condition and he knows it has something to do with my hair - he's asked me a few weeks ago whether I will ever talk about it - and I can see that he just wants me to be open about it with him.
He's genuinely one the most caring and nonjudgmental people I've ever met, but it's my own insecurity and anxiety holding me back. I can't seem to get past the idea that he deserves better and more, someone who is "normal" in terms of this.
Some days I look at myself in the mirror and don't notice anything of issue and I feel almost normal - almost like I can definitely tell him because at that moment, looking at myself, everything seems fine and unnoticeable. But then I see myself with wet hair, no products in, and the difference is striking and again I clam up.
I want to be comfortable with and accept myself before letting him in on my androgenetic alopecia. Logically however, I can see and understand that that is a longer trek than I originally expected and telling him will have to come first.
I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to manage this, how I can begin to have this conversation with him and make sure that he's comfortable talking about this. All of your help is greatly appreciated!
Thank you so much :))
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Mohit Singh on
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Thank you for your post.
Tell him, if he accept you with that, then be him. If he truly loves you he’ll be with you in any situation.
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Permalink Reply by serg navaro on
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I literally just told my gf of 6 months last week. I also wear a system and hide it well but she started asking why I don't ever let her touch my head ( i have alopecia totalis which is almost 100% hairloss on scalp). I decided to come out and tell her and she actually accepted it and she had actually heard of alopecia before. I explained to her what it is and she didn't seem bothered by it at all, I let her ask all the questions she wanted to ask. Since then I have felt so relieved because I don't have to keep that secret hidden anymore.
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Permalink Reply by Bonnie Piper on
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It sounds from your post that you are with a very caring and loving person who probably knows but just wants you to tell him. I feel for you as I have alopecia totalis and I don't know how to tell my little girl of 10 who knows that all is not well with my hair. What I will say though is that my husband and I just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary and he has never ever made me feel awkward or ashamed. I know he struggles too but he never says anything. So my advice would be if you have found a lovely person who loves YOU for WHO you are then I would tell him. But from previous experience find the right time and be sober!! x x
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