I tend to never post anything online- especially anything negative, but this situation really bothers me and I felt like writing- perhaps others are feeling the same...

   I have email alerts set up regarding alopecia areata - hoping one day to see news on a treatment- so I've seen Jada Pinkett's name pop up over the past year a few times. She had one patch the size of a pea that seems to have gone quickly into remission and she's been grandstanding about her 'battle' with alopecia ever since. 

     People likely don't know she has alopecia areata because they cant see it- because it's not there to be seen. This isn't a matter of my opinion- there are plenty of photos- take a look at her hair at the Oscars. I think Drs would refer to this as a SALT score of somewhere between 0 and 1- and in my books- total recovery.

     Alopecia Areata is not invisible, its not a buzzcut over a full head of hair; it's disfiguring and  highly visible... We don't go undetected- we don't have the luxury- we stick out. There was a young girl in the news last week who was bullied over her alopecia to the point of suicide- I'm sure she stuck out. Jada Pinkett's performance trivializes what we're all dealing with and paints us a thin-skinned, vain group of people struggling with a nearly unnoticeable condition. Its hard enough to get real medical support due to the perceived cosmetic nature of the condition- what she's doing really isn't helping in my opinion.

     I've dealt with alopecia in various forms for 30 years- I have the luxury of being a middle aged man so my AU isn't nearly as problematic as is it likely is for some of you reading this. Thinking back on how hard it was as a kid and seeing others actually struggle- I just find what she's doing so unbelievably distasteful and self indulgent. We certainly deserve visibility and awareness, but perhaps an advocate whos actually dealt with the condition in a meaningful way. Imagine if someone became the public face of addiction recovery because they drank three glasses of wine one time and got a mild hangover. We deserve better. I wonder if people agree with me and I wonder if we can as a community request that she show some respect and stop talking about it.

      I feel strongly that we need to teach young people struggling with this condition to develop resilience- not thin skinned victimhood and sanctimony . We need to learn to use our words not our fists- trust me- I've done some foolish things in defense of my appearance- it's never the right move. Even if she really was struggling with alopecia- that joke was so completely innocuous- Demi Moore looked great in that role and so does she- they are both beautiful, healthy people. To think that was somehow worthy of violence is madness! I think the biggest thing we can do to live emotionally healthy lives is learn no to take ourselves so seriously- if someone makes a joke at your expense- make a better one back- or just laugh.

      I feel that holding this woman up as an example does the kids that are doomed to live through this ordeal a great disservice. For as long as alopecia goes untreated - we will never have it easy- we will certainly never be invisible- we can however learn to cultivate skills to make us stronger and keep (at least the inside of ) our heads healthy.

Perhaps she can be the spokesperson for hangnail awareness month and leave us be.