I started losing my hair at 15 years of age. It was really strange. It was like I woke up one morning and my hair started thinning on my scalp, I lost all the hair on my arms and legs ... and even in my pubic area. At 14, I had long hair which was popular in the 1970s. When the alopecia kicked in, I cut my hair short.  It helped but teenagers were cruel. My parents took me to a dermatologist in my teens. After a hair shaft biopsy and blood work, the doctor called my parents in for a meeting.  I wasn't invited.  The doctor basically said there was noting they could do for me. I was going bald. My parents never discussed it with me again until my hair loss became so extreme they said I should consider getting a wig.  Talk about feeling shame. 

For several years throughout my teens and early adulthood my hair would grow back and then fall out again. I kept it short and manipulated my style to cover up the thinning and bald shots. I wore a hat at my wedding because of my alopecia.  Getting pregnant four years later, my hair went crazy!  My hair follicles started working again and my hair became think, my eyebrows became bushy and I regrew hair on my body.  I heard that your hair gets thicker, but I didn't have much hair.  I was thrilled.  Of course, post-pregnancy all the hair fell out again.

As I aged, I am now 56, my hair became an issue to my self-esteem. I became depressed and didn't leave my home much. In my 30s and 40s I was raising children and working part-time as a journalists and wedding photographer. Then after a hysterectomy at 42, whatever hair I had anywhere was gone. I felt so alone.  No one ever talked to me about my alopecia, not even my family doctor. 

After my kids were in high school I decided to go back to work. Talk about feeling self-conscious. I know it must have been apparent in interviews.  Actually, I started using my baldness as a test that people had to pass in order to get close to me.  If people could only see my baldness, I didn't need them in my life.  In many ways it was a chip on my shoulder.

As the depression subsided and I decided to place more energy in my family and career again, I decided to purchase a "hair unit" through an organization that molded a wig to your scalp. I have to be honest with you, it did change my life to have hair on the top of my head again.  Yes, people noticed that I was wearing a wig, but many people who never met me knew about my alopecia. It was none of their business anyway. 

Let's be honest, purchasing hair units or custom wigs is not cheap. Even through the Great Recession where my husband and I lost both of our jobs, I was able to purchase hair for myself. 

As a journalist living in Atlanta (moved to city from Indiana), I was asked to consider writing for a health magazine.  I suggested writing about alopecia.  I guess I was finally ready to talk and write about the disease.  What I found was that I was not a freak of nature but one of many who live everyday with alopecia.  I will be attending my first alopecia support group next week.

For everyone that lives with alopecia: You are the strongest, most compassionate people I have ever met. You understand me.  I am not alone.