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Permalink Reply by Jenna4 on May 21, 2010 at 8:46am

Hi Kimba, first of all, you are a beautiful woman - with or without hair...I know everyone says that, but you are. You have a beautiful face and gorgeous eyes. Any guy out there that can't see your inner beauty shining through isn't worth your time.
I believe that God chose us to have alopecia for a reason...I haven't figured out what that reason is yet,but I will. Maybe once we truly accept it, that's when we can embrace it and become the confident, shining people we are meant to be. That's when we'll find out our purpose for having alopecia.
As far as having hair goes, I am totally opposite from you - lol. I don't think I ever want long hair again. I will never become obsessed or attached to my hair again, either. Not having to blow-dry, straighten, or curl it every day is wonderful! Even if my hair grows back, I think I will end up having a short pixie cut that requires very little maintenance. Why become attached to my hair when it can just start falling out again?
As far as healing the inner child...I've done some reading on this years ago, but don't feel equipped to give advice. You should purchase a book on the subject and do your best to work on that. It's amazing that when you are going through what you are, you can almost hear/feel your inner child crying out for help and healing. Maybe you should try and see a therapist and work on some of these insecurities. Eventually you will find peace within yourself and come to love and accept yourself for the person you are on the inside and out.
{{HUGS}}

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Permalink Reply by phillipa on May 21, 2010 at 10:27am

Hey Kimba,
Yea i ask myself these questions and also ride an ocean of emotion... It sux yep it does... i saw a Matakite (what we call a clairvoyant in maori) a litttle while ago it was an interesting and enlightening experience.. She communicates with the ancestors.. anywho, she tuned into one of my Tupuna whom was once a high priestess of the bird clan from where i am from in new zealand.... apparently there had been a makatu (curse) placed apon her.. from the evils of her time out of jelously. Because she was so highly respected and greatly adored. A rare few fought to cause grief and humilliation towards her so that her powers would wither and fall... What the Matakite said is that the makatu is passed down the generations to whom ever resonates within a similar frequency meaning has the same traits and characteristics the good and the bad.... Sooo yea i thought that was interesting in relation to kharma...
Moral of the story..Kia Kaha (Be Stong!) Perhaps one can overcome the intent of a makatu by strength of mind inner knowing of ones worth and emotional stability of positive thought...I guess also it is to not give your power away to unforseen forces that have conditioned the mind into thinking one must look a particular way...in order to be "beautiful".. What im trying to say is Beauty is a vibration.. It is to me some thing of a very high frequency.. everything is vibration! everthings vibrating at a high or low positive negitive dark to light and grey shades in between.. I think the more we can truely love ourselves from the inside out the more beautiful we will shine!
If your inner child is crying out for some guidence to finding peace what advice would you give a little child asking all these questions why me?
Apparently we dont get dished out anything we cant handle..
I wish I didnt get delt this alopecia either but am reminded of it everyday i awake.. I cant wait till the time i can run my fingers through my hair and and feel somewhat normal without having to feel i need to hide my reality from the world.. But till that day... we just gotta souljah on sister girl! and remember to be greatfull for what we do have and are blessed with each and every day.. Remember there are always those that are much less fortunate than yourself and the best thing u can do is recognize how amazing and unique you are!!!
Just be aware of your thoughts because they manifest... is that how we ended up in this situation???Shit! or is it genetic??? I dont know... all i know is that we cant project our insecurities into the minds of others otherwise we suffer unnesserceraly.. The more acceptance of ourselves is an obvious solution to this unfavourable condition...Haaa GoodLuck!!
Its ganna take some serous mind training and discipline to conquer the mighty fear factors and years of self doubt and misconception to eventually find some peace of mind...... Hmmmm
Strength to you and me and every one!!!

Peace
Pip

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Permalink Reply by Dana Kozlowski on May 21, 2010 at 2:58pm

I am not just starting to feel a little more at ease with Alopecia Areata. I used to cry my eyes out when a new spot appeared or when I would see a handful of hair. It even got to a point when I was at my college graduation this year, my boyfriend made some excuse to get me out of the bathroom because the floor was covered in hair and he didn't want me to get upset. He wanted my day to be special and happy so he cleaned the hotel bathroom. I went through the stage what did I do wrong for my hair to fall out too. Now I am thankful it is just hair and not something drastic going on. I did get tested for Lupus, Anemia, and a few other things which was nerve wrecking.

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Permalink Reply by Joy on May 21, 2010 at 3:20pm

Hey Kimberly
I dont have a ton of stuff to say but I do know how you feel. People get to acceptance in their own time just like people may grieve for someone longer than another. Dont feel bad that you wonder about these things..that just adds shame to it and that hurts a person in the long run. I hope it helps to know that many of us feel this way and would love to have our hair back again. If you want to wear hair or whatever you do..I think it's not a big deal to guys...it's us that it bothers so just be kind to yourself would be my advice..dont add shame to your feelings because you feel you shouldnt have the questions or thoughts either because i think your thoughts are normal...knowing that may make it easier to deal with it all.I still have thoughts like this after a few years now but try to view them as normal and that makes it easier to work through them. The inner child thing is something most of us have too..completely normal and could help to talk that out with a counselor or get a book and workbook to deal with some of your feelings. You have lots of people here who feel like you do and care about you..including me!!!!!

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Permalink Reply by Virginia on May 22, 2010 at 2:50pm

I totally get how you feel. I thought I was just being shallow. I sometimes still grieve the loss of my hair. I had long, thick, tight curly hair. Now I have to shave my head to make everything look even. I have female pattern baldness which my Dr believes may be connected to my Hashimoto's disease (thyroid). I've been struggling with it for about 8-10 yrs. I've tried EVERYTHING. wigs, hair pieces, drugs, lotions. It's so hard as a woman, hair is so important and it seems like no one really knows a woman can go bald. I didn't know until it happened to me. I thought only guys and people with cancer lost their hair. I think it's because a lot of women hide their hair loss. After scarves and wigs,I finally just stopped hiding. I figure it is what it is. This is who I am- no more hiding. If people don't like me because of my hair- then they aren't the type of people I want to hang with. life is short. I don't want to miss out on anything. Yeah people look at you or some jerks even comment, but I figure it's about them not me. I am more than just my hair. I have always had low self esteem, I've always been over weight so loosing my hair was terrible, but it has forced me to think about who I really am and what is really important in life. In a lot of ways it's liberated me and forced me to grow as a person. I try to embrace it. Not to say I don't get down and wish for my hair, but I know it won't come back so I try to push past it. It takes time and I don't know if you ever stop missing your hair, but have faith it will get easier :)

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Permalink Reply by sean franklin on May 23, 2010 at 9:03pm

I think you have nothing to worry about you are stunningly beautiful

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