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Younger Family Member with Alopecia
Hello all,
My younger sister (aged 14) was diagnosed with AA a few years ago, but it's never been a very visible thing.
I've been away at school and after coming home for Thanksgiving, I was shocked at how rapidly it progressed over the course of three months.
At the same time, she's become increasingly withdrawn and her personality has changed so much that it's alarming. She has no interest in going out with her friends anymore. Essentially, she's exhibiting all the signs of depression because of her now visible hair loss.
To any teenagers out there: how did you deal with alopecia during high school? Did it have any effect on your emotional health? Did you ever see a therapist? And most importantly, how can I help her cope with this?
My younger sister (aged 14) was diagnosed with AA a few years ago, but it's never been a very visible thing.
I've been away at school and after coming home for Thanksgiving, I was shocked at how rapidly it progressed over the course of three months.
At the same time, she's become increasingly withdrawn and her personality has changed so much that it's alarming. She has no interest in going out with her friends anymore. Essentially, she's exhibiting all the signs of depression because of her now visible hair loss.
To any teenagers out there: how did you deal with alopecia during high school? Did it have any effect on your emotional health? Did you ever see a therapist? And most importantly, how can I help her cope with this?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on
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Hi Gab
My daughter lost her hair at 12 years old. It was and can still be challenging. As a mum I worked very hard being proactive with her, making sure she didn't disappear into a shell. I discussed the choices she could make on how to deal with her alopecia - whether that be scarfs, wigs, or nothing. All those choices have consequences and none took away the fact that she had Alopecia Areata. Discussion was key to her and finding alternatives that helped us get on with life. I always wanted AA to be a small part of who she was, never to be denied but also not something that overtook her life. I made sure that the other loves of her life were nurtured and celebrated. (My daughter is very musical, she sings and plays the piano). She is also academic, loving school and all the activivites that went with it.
My advise is to talk to her continually about choices that may help. Don't let her push you away, my daughter tried on several occassions. It was important that I didn't let that happen. It was important that I understood her needs. Just like it is important that you understand your sisters needs.
For us, in the end we decided on a very good vacuum prosthesis. This went a long way to helping my daughter move onwards and upwards. This may not be a choice your sister is interested in - there are others as I have said.
If you can't get through to her I would bring in professional help. Depression is a dangerous, scary place to be - especially for such a young person.
Good luck with everything.
Rosy
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Permalink Reply by Sarah McIntosh on
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I know for myself when I was a teenager I had a constant battle with myself to go out.I always felt as though including family and friends looked at me differently so I didn't go to a lot of events around.It's not that I didn't want to but I didn't know how to handle people.Some people felt sorry for me which wasn't what I wanted others were embarrassed to be seen with me.It was a very hard thing.Plus high school was a night mare.everyone looked and started and made fun of me,and I was to embarrassed to tell anyone at home about it in fear that they might feel the same way.What really helped is I had a few people close to me who made me feel ok to be me and made sure I was comfortable around them.They were the ones who got me to go out and made sure I wasn't to hard on myself.They didn't let me feel like I was different.I think the best thing to do is let her know you are one of those people,that it don't change the fact that you love her.
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Hi
I first noticed my hair loss when I was thirteen years old, and I know it sounds strange but I don't know how I coped with it, apart from a tremendous amount of support from my parents and my younger sister at the time. I was lucky as most of the people in my school were understanding. I lost two layers at the back of my head and other patches around my head.
I cried an awful lot, found it hard to come to terms with. Mine like your sister's progressed really quickly too.
Have you told her about this site? or there are groups on Facebook, which I have only just found and wish that these were available ninteen years ago to help me.
I haven't had any patches for a couple of years - I think! I have always considered myself to be fortunate as mine has always grown back, however there is always an element of doubt that it won't and even now still cry when I find a patch.
I saw a determinologist when it was at its worst and was prescribed Betnovate, which is a steroid ointment that you rub on the patch. I only used this for a couple of years whether it helped I don't know. It seemed to help at the time.
Your last question, you can help by being there for your sister, whether it is on the other end of the phone/e-mail and when you go home from school. Try and encourage her to see her friends more, as they will help her with her confidence. Let her know that there are other people out there that understand what she's feeling and going through.
Like Sarah I thought people looked at me differntly too. As a sufferer I echo Sarah's suggestions too.
Hope this helps.
Julie, England
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