Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Julia McDowell on July 13, 2009 at 5:37am

I've had AU for over ten years now, and whenever I feel down about it, I think of 1 Thessalonians, ch 5. v 16 (NIV) Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, FOR THIS IS GOD'S WILL FOR YOU IN CHRIST JESUS.
I found that part tough for the longest time. Now I have come to accept and give thanks for this condition. It has taught me so much about me and what is important in my life. I used to be very vain about my hair and spent a lot of money and time on it. It's as if God said, "OK, that's enough, Julia! Now you must focus on something else." If I had the choice of having my hair back, or losing everything that I've learned since having AU, I would honestly have to say, "keep the hair, thank you!" And I never thought I'd ever feel that way......

Permalink Reply by Megan on August 2, 2009 at 9:04pm

Yeah i find accepting that this is God's will for me extremely difficult. However when I do realise that this is his will I can see that it must be for the ultimate good as we are told and we know that God does all things for the good of His people.

I admire you greatly for saying that you feel if it were a choice between your hair and the knowledge you've gained that you'd keep the knowledge. Maybe it's just the fact that I'm a teenage girl but currently I'd say the hair. That's a shame I know,but I just really,really wish sometimes,y'know...

Permalink Reply by Julia McDowell on August 3, 2009 at 6:53am

Oh, Megan - that's totally natural for you to feel that way. I only feel the way I do after ten years of tears, anger, resentment and frustration with being what I used to think of as a 'bald freak'! It didn't happen overnight, believe me, and it truly is only by God's grace that I have reached a place of total acceptance. The natural 'me' could never feel that way..............

Permalink Reply by Hannah on August 7, 2009 at 6:06pm

I still feel that way sometimes too, but stumbling on this site has been such a huge blessing for me because just knowing that there are others out there who know how I feel is such a huge comfort. So I guess you could say it wasn't really an accident that I found you guys! Julia, I admire your persistence towards acceptance and I just pray that I can come to the same peace. My biggest struggle is in obsessing over the small details (one lost hair, etc.) and then realizing that I have let whole days slip away without enjoying them or feeling any gratitude for what I do have. I suppose the knowledge we have all gained from our experiences with alopecia will be necessary in fulfilling the purpose of our lives in some way.

Permalink Reply by Libby on August 11, 2009 at 10:37am

I remember well the night 14 years ago lying in bed and crying my eyes out begging and pleading with God. I remember this question popping in my head "do you want to learn or do you want your hair"? I answered that I wanted to learn......and learned I have. Some of the lessons were so painful that I didn't know if I would make it or not. But I am here, I am still breathing and sometimes that is the only thing that matters. I don't regret the answer that I gave. The morals, values and spine that I have are not the ones that are passed down and learned from previous generations. They are the ones that are aquired when life has you up against the wall by your throat daring you to give up and you decide to not give up and fight back. I wouldn't trade that for anything. I wouldn't trade the relationship I have with God either. I have felt His presence with me throught it all.

Libby

Permalink Reply by Julia McDowell on August 13, 2009 at 3:44pm

Libby, you are so right. Our God is a loving heavenly father and He knows what is best for us, even when we think that He is completely wrong! He never allows us to have more than we can handle, and in a way, we should feel encouraged that He believes in us enough to entrust us with this. I've really learned not to sweat the small stuff, and that appearance is the very smallest part of who I am.