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It's not enough to love her because she's bald and beautiful
Here's something I wrote a while back. After reading it, please share your thoughts and insights.
To love a bald woman isn’t to love her merely because she is bald. It is to see what she is really like, and to really like far more than what you see. It is to avoid mistaking her head for her mind, or her shell for her spirit. It is to cherish her as no less a woman regardless of the hair she may be “missing.”
So what if alopecia sometimes causes her to have patchy or thinning hair! An exemplary lifestyle is infinitely more important than any hairstyle. Besides, true character is not diminished by loss of hair, and the presence or absence of locks certainly is not the key to love.
You may behold her as “bald and beautiful.” Indeed, you should! Bear in mind, however, that beauty that is only skin-deep is fool’s gold. Love her neither as a fetish, nor just for how she appears on the outside. Adore the phenomenal woman, but only with a true lover’s eyes.
To love a bald woman isn’t to love her merely because she is bald. It is to see what she is really like, and to really like far more than what you see. It is to avoid mistaking her head for her mind, or her shell for her spirit. It is to cherish her as no less a woman regardless of the hair she may be “missing.”
So what if alopecia sometimes causes her to have patchy or thinning hair! An exemplary lifestyle is infinitely more important than any hairstyle. Besides, true character is not diminished by loss of hair, and the presence or absence of locks certainly is not the key to love.
You may behold her as “bald and beautiful.” Indeed, you should! Bear in mind, however, that beauty that is only skin-deep is fool’s gold. Love her neither as a fetish, nor just for how she appears on the outside. Adore the phenomenal woman, but only with a true lover’s eyes.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tony on
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Well said, as always RJ. To appreciate a woman for who she is, her mind, her spirit is far more important than, as you so eliquently put it, the 'fool's gold' of superficial beauty.
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Permalink Reply by Georgia Van C on
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In a week of having agents and managers discuss my baldness like it is a problem, a hassle and a dirty secret this warms my heart - thank you. I guess love doesn't just come from that one 'other'!!!
G
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Permalink Reply by Leon Johnson on
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That's sho nuff the truth!
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I feel everything you're saying. Being a bald women could be thrown up there with blonde hair, short hair or any other style that men like. It's important for women to love themselves first and to make sure they know what love looks like.
Women should own their feelings and allow men to own theirs. -
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Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on
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Thanks to each and every one of you for your deep and inspiring insights. After reading your words again, I thought of the popular saying that goes something like this: "I love you not only for who you are, but also for who I am when I am with you." That, to me, is what true romantic love is all about and your collective sentiments seem to clearly express this.
Now concerning Jack's questions, my response are:
> Does love have boundries?
If by "love" you here mean romantic love, then my answer is an equivocal yes and I sum the matter up in this way: We shall be lovers for as long as we are loving. ;-)
> Do you love your children for what they are on the outside?
I love my children (daughters), period. In this case, it's an unconditional love that has nothing to do with their "inside" or "outside," but with the simply fact that they are bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.
> Do you love your parents for the money they have?
No! Who has money in this economy! LOL
> Do you love your grandparents for what they can do for you?
No. But I appreciate what they do for me.
> How would you feel if your child looked at you and said "damn you are ugly, get out of my life"??????
I would feel awful because I thought the Good Book said something like, "Train up a child in the way s/he should go, and when s/he is old(er), s/he will not depart from it." Then I'd kick their butt! LOL :-) -
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That's a interesting statement considering that we don't live in a world where bald women are really accepted. I go down to Times Square and when I look at the advertising and if there's a woman that is bald she's suppose to have cancer. Focusing on one aspect of attraction can get anyone in trouble. Just like a woman being attracted to a man that has a little more money and power than the next guy. At the end of the day it's just better to no put all the attraction eggs in one basket. At this point I'm sure there's some bald women who would love their bald head to be an attribute for a brother walkin' up to them and starting a conversation. If bald was more in for women all the wigs and weaves would take a dip in sales. I just think back to when my hairloss started and I was thinkin' about propecia and other drugs to see if I could get some hair back. Tisk, tisk, tisk.
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Focusing on one aspect of attraction can get anyone in trouble. Just like a woman being attracted to a man that has a little more money and power than the next guy. At the end of the day it's just better to not put all the attraction eggs in one basket.
Amen, Leon! Amen! -
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